Kevin's Watch

Which made no sense at all, so Mallory walked home and called it a day.

But Mallory wasn't undone by the THOOOTP and immediately returned, passing through the open gate of the castle into the crepuscular gloom within.

Or would have, but couldn't, because there was no gate.

Side stepping the angry THOOOTP yet again, Mallory continued into the entrance, that he had already entered, and made his way to a wide, curving staircase; dimly illuminated by the scant light that bled from the open doorway.

Seeing this , Mallory desperately tried to staunch the bleeding door; alas, the poor door died.

The staircase mocked him with its curves.

And they lived happily ever after.

After Mallory ignored the last three posts he ascended the staircase cautiously, alert for any sign of movement until he reached the entry to the first level.

Unfortunately he stepped into a pool of blood he refused to acknowledge , causing him to fall back down the bloody steps, into the dead door, breaking his neck.

But thankfully he had a healing factor that repaired his neck instantly and allowed him to ascend the staircase again, careful to avoid the puddle of blood.

And he lived happily ever after

Until he decided to continue into the door at the top of the staircase that opened into a massive chamber filled with unusual devices.

"Ouch!" he said, and then proceeded again, this time opening the door first.

And he lived happily ever after

Mallory, exasperated beyond constraint, then carefully slid his sword out of its scabbard and dispatched the THOOOTP with one blow which freed him to finally advance into the dark catacombs of Southerland Castle.

And he lived happily ever after.

The THOOOTP, severely wounded but still clinging to life, finally expired and melted away to become an oily stain on the hard stone floor and thus unencumbered, Mallory continued until he spied a throne on the far side of the chamber.

A chamber with a throne could only mean one thing, and so Mallory dropped his pants.

And there was much rejoicing.

After reliving himself of his internal burden, Mallory pulled up his pants and proceeded into the next chamber which also had a throne but this time it was an ornate King's throne complete with what looked like a HOLY LAUNCH BUTTON!!!!!!!!!