ON THE IMPLAUSIBILITY OF THE DEATH STAR’S TRASH COMPACTOR

[TIC TAC]

Hi, Yoda. We never met (at least, I don't think we have; who knows what Lucas will do in Epi 3), but Luke speaks highly of you.

I wish you were around during my time, Solo. I would crush the life from your puny mortal flesh! Plus I think we would have looked very good together. Oh well.

[NOWgirl]

Hah! I am glad I was not there during your time! Think about it; Jar-Jar would have been my co-pilot! That would have been reason enough for me to have begged for the sweet release of death at your hands.

[aTOMiC]

Hah! I am glad I was not there during your time! Think about it; Jar-Jar would have been my co-pilot! That enough is reason to shudder.

You shouldn't even be thinking such a thing! Aggghhhhh! Now I have that awful thought in my head. Get it out! Get it out!

[dANdeLION]

OMG....the mental picture...Jar-Jar reassembling C-3PO.... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[dlbpharmd]

why was this thread moved to Gen Discussion?

[CovenantJr]

It wasn't - it was moved from General Discussion to the Star Wars forum. But the Gen Dis copy of the thread hasn't been locked, so now we have the same thread in two places.

[Variol Farseer]

Actually, the reason the Garbage Smasher is so stupid (as it is, admittedly) is that the whole Star Wars saga is actually a thinly-disguised retelling of Gilligan's Island.

No, really!

The resemblances, once you look for them, are obvious. Han Solo is the Skipper, Luke is Gilligan, Obi-Wan is the Professor. The two droids clearly must be the Howells. True, the Millennium Falcon doesn't actually break up, unlike the Minnow, but various members of the cast and crew do spend a lot of time marooned on some pretty grotty planets.

This leaves the Great Question, which is a slightly more sophisticated version of the Great Question from the original Gilligan's Island:

Ginger or Mary Ann?

Serious Gilligan scholars generally agree that the Ginger-vs.-Mary-Ann question makes a valid, if unsophisticated, psychometric test . . . at least for straight adult or adolescent males. Ginger obviously would be tremendous fun for a one-night stand, but Mary Ann is much more the kind of girl that a man in his right mind would actually marry. It's like a Rorschach test with two unusually attractive inkblots.

In the context of Star Wars, of course, the question is: Which character does Princess Leia represent? Whole volumes of learned papers have been written on this vitally important subject, but I prefer to go with my gut feeling. I staunchly maintain that Leia is Mary Ann. Obviously Ginger, being a redhead, is represented by Chewbacca.

Oh, yes. As for the monster in the Garbage Smasher: It hatched from a coconut, of course. You can do everything with coconuts in that universe.

(I will now go away and find a crowbar with which to pry this tongue out of my cheek. Excuse me, please.)

[Sheol]

i confronted a friend who is a magor star wars nut about the impractibilities of the "garbage smasher" (he corrected me, saying that it wasnt a trash compactor but actually a garbage smasher (the differences are mind boggleing) like it was done here on KW) and he babbled something about a book he had explaning it all away. when he gets it to me i wil let you all know.