Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:02 pm
Well, I stand by what I said earlier. Without arguing about style v substance, the fact is: the style itself changes at the end. The story goes from captivating narrative to interesting abstraction. For the ending to work properly, the rest of it would need to be written in the same abstract style.
As a matter of fact, Syl, elements of the exposition you posted could, in themselves, make a great expanded conclusion. Your explanation of the background and, particularly, the mental processes of the protagonist is exactly what's needed.
Tulizar: did you get any reactions to 'chuffed'?
'Cause if you did, I'd be really chuffed.
Hehehehe, it's an awesome word.
Say it out loud: 'chuffed'! 
As a matter of fact, Syl, elements of the exposition you posted could, in themselves, make a great expanded conclusion. Your explanation of the background and, particularly, the mental processes of the protagonist is exactly what's needed.
Tulizar: did you get any reactions to 'chuffed'?
'Cause if you did, I'd be really chuffed.
Hehehehe, it's an awesome word.
Say it out loud: 'chuffed'!