Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:51 pm
This thread has been rated PG-13 due to frank discussion of bodily functions. 
Kevin's Watch
Official Discussion Forum for the works of Stephen R. Donaldson
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Where would you most like to live?
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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:02 pm
Yes, and I think we need the hostage negotiators because this thread has been
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:20 pm
The only people who really pooped in the Land were the Cavewrights.
Remember all that filth in the Wightwarrens that got flushed out when it rained?
That's right: Cavewright poop.
Ur-Viles don't poop.
They were created and lets just say the Viles were called "vile" because they didn't fashion the ur-viles any anuses.
Why else do you think the ur-Viles were so damn mean?
Remember how long they live?
Wouldn't you be cranky if you were constipated for a few thousand years?
The people of the Land didn't poop either.
They were so healthy and the food they ate was so potent that their bodies used 100% of what they ate.
There were no waste products.
Sure they had anuses but it was an evolutionary throwback to the pre-Berek days.
The Giants did poop but it was only about once every 100 years or so.
They tell stories about thier particular interesting poops.
The Haruchai can poop but refuse to.
If an author doesn't say it happens then it doesn't happen.
This is my explanation about poop in the Land.
Some might agree with me and some might think I'm full of crap.
Remember all that filth in the Wightwarrens that got flushed out when it rained?
That's right: Cavewright poop.
Ur-Viles don't poop.
They were created and lets just say the Viles were called "vile" because they didn't fashion the ur-viles any anuses.
Why else do you think the ur-Viles were so damn mean?
Remember how long they live?
Wouldn't you be cranky if you were constipated for a few thousand years?
The people of the Land didn't poop either.
They were so healthy and the food they ate was so potent that their bodies used 100% of what they ate.
There were no waste products.
Sure they had anuses but it was an evolutionary throwback to the pre-Berek days.
The Giants did poop but it was only about once every 100 years or so.
They tell stories about thier particular interesting poops.
The Haruchai can poop but refuse to.
If an author doesn't say it happens then it doesn't happen.
This is my explanation about poop in the Land.
Some might agree with me and some might think I'm full of crap.
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:26 pm
ROFLMAO!!!!
You are crazy, HLT!!!!
You are crazy, HLT!!!!
Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:22 pm
High Lord Tolkein,
Then, I guess, TC didn't poop either!
Coercri - that is where I would live!
Then, I guess, TC didn't poop either!
Coercri - that is where I would live!
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:21 am
Okay, that is just way too funny.High Lord Tolkien wrote:The Haruchai can poop but refuse to.
The poop's gonna hit the fan once Fist and Faith and the other Haruchai of the Watch see that. (Heh, sorry, couldn't resist.)
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 5:16 am
I'm sure nobody shaved legs or armpits. And there is no mention of pit stick or mouthwash, or even brushing of teeth. Nor feminine hygiene products (they must have used actual rags like women did in the bad old days). And no mention of toilet paper or local equivalent. Perhaps they used leaves or grass? And IIRC, the only time the people on the Quest for the SOL in LFB took baths was after the battle of Soaring Woodhelven.
Can you just imagine the body odors??
I'm feeling a bit down tonight -- thanks for the great laugh, everybody!!
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 6:42 pm
be of good cheer milady! We all think you rock also!
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 7:50 pm
You wouldn't have to magically transform poop into anything - if they're so nature-sensitive, they'd just route it outdoors as "fertilizer".