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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 4:08 pm
by Worm of Despite
Loremaster wrote:sgtnull wrote:Lore: you have hooked me. i must know more. i bit descriptive and i got lost a couple of times. will you have a glossary handy for us?
It's funny you should say that; I'm currently finishing off a large book which is an encyclopedia to my setting. There's a timeline (rather large) and a glossary - so far over two hundred entries. So yeah, a glossary will be necessary.
Going to read this soon (blast my novel class for giving me so many new books). I like the fact that you're making extra stuff like appendices. Such organization can be tiresome but always pays off in the end. Ever consider making a map? Or maybe you won't need one. It's definitely a neat tool, to give some added foundation.
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:41 pm
by Loredoctor
Oh yes, I have a map
Thanks, Foul!
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:44 pm
by Loredoctor
CovenantJr wrote:Loremaster wrote:along with Dr Charlesworth, an african doctor also wrote the Inner Union 'bible'/manifesto. Well done.
I started reading, but I struggle to read at any length on-screen, so I've printed it to take away with me. When I've completed it, I'll give you my opinions.
I should have emailed it to you. Regardless, I had so much trouble spacing the paragraphs and tabbing the paras the first sentences. Sorry that it is hard to read - to everyone! But I tried several times,
Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:19 am
by CovenantJr
No no, it's not that. My eyes buckle under the strain of focusing on the screen for too long.
Buckling eyes. Now there's an image.
Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:28 pm
by CovenantJr
Read it today. Lots of promise, oh lore-wise one. There are a couple of bits that confused me slightly*, but otherwise it worked well as an introduction to whatever larger scheme is to come. Like Avatar, I appreciate the strong hints of a looming backstory and hidden agendas.
*Two things, neither of them major:
1) I was somewhat confused for a while as to why Mendina was angry/resentful etc about the Grey Agency. It said
everone receives the serum within a year of 17. It then says she's 22. So it took a little while before it became apparent that she hadn't had it. But I could just be tired, or that could be your intention. Just thought I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it.
2) She's 500 feet from the plateau. She climbs 100 feet, then she scales 400 feet of waterfall. At the top of the waterfall, the Incub is still able to look up at the plateau
I'm a visual person; if I find a description confusing it leaps out at me
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 3:12 am
by Loredoctor
CovenantJr wrote:2) She's 500 feet from the plateau. She climbs 100 feet, then she scales 400 feet of waterfall. At the top of the waterfall, the Incub is still able to look up at the plateau
I'm a visual person; if I find a description confusing it leaps out at me
Ahhh, it should have read much less distance. Thanks for that.
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 6:21 am
by sgt.null
a seperate book with the index, glossary, maps, pics. i like the idea of a companion piece just for that.
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 6:25 am
by Loredoctor
sgtnull wrote:a seperate book with the index, glossary, maps, pics. i like the idea of a companion piece just for that.
That's what I am also compiling now (collated Xenopaedia, maps, glossary, local time scale and universal/galactic time scale). However, it needs alot of editing to hide the big revelations.
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:15 am
by Seareach
LM: I heard a rumour you were up to chapter 3 in your book (ok, I actually read it on your "signature"...but that's not the point). So, are you holding out on us or what?!?!?!?!??!?!
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:47 am
by Avatar
Haha, c'mon, leave him
something to sell.
--A
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:53 am
by Seareach
Avatar wrote:Haha, c'mon, leave him
something to sell.
--A
Nah...he's not doing it for the money...he's doing it for the love of it (isn't that right LM) so he should give us *all* of it and give it to us *now*!
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:06 am
by Avatar
--A
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:26 am
by Loredoctor
Seareach wrote:Avatar wrote:Haha, c'mon, leave him
something to sell.
--A
Nah...he's not doing it for the money...he's doing it for the love of it (isn't that right LM) so he should give us *all* of it and give it to us *now*!
My dear, for you anything. And I am doing it for love. But Avatar is right in that I am holding out to surprise you all. Here's a tidbit from chapter two and another from chapter three:
Once they reached the gold and silver platform, Mendina could appreciate the vast mass of people in the audience. Many were dressed in their daily clothes – utilitarian uniforms of blue and green – in costume, or almost naked except for a sash of gold cloth covering their genitalia and silver syringes or phalluses painted on their chest, arms and face. Banners were erected within the crowd, each of which sporting the names of the Attendees under a number indicating their domicile. Several people, not too many she could make out, were holding the Great Dictate – a large volume, several thousand pages long, with a black leather cover and silver spine. The Founding Manifesto was held open and the owners reading the sacred political texts aloud or silent, usually accompanied by an expression of rapture or solemnity. Yet despite the celebratory atmosphere, the multitude was reverential; the Injections had begun.
Mendina was no stranger to high gravity under acceleration. Up to the age of seventeen, every person had to experience the forces of acceleration once or twice a year. The domicile ungene fathers had lectured everyone that the war being waged far away in the galaxy may one day turn disasterous, and that the Inner Union may start conscripting the population. She also recalled that at one time she considered this romantic; leaving Kirsk in a warship destined for galactic northeast, fifty-thousand light years away, and fighting alongside the handsome soldiers on the front, taking the perfect warrior – physical and mental – as her partner and giving birth to their child, after pushing back the enemy’s immense front line. Experiencing heavy acceleration seemed thrilling back then. However, it was never as extreme like now. Trapped in the gel-couch and experiencing gravity of fifteen times that of Kirsk’s, it was anything but exhilarating. Her body was being compressed back into the gel-couch support as though gravity itself wanted to remove her from the ship and existence - to crush her body and squeeze consciousness from her.
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:32 am
by Avatar
Looking good LoreMaster, and thanks.
SeaReach, you better appreciate LM rushing this out for us.
--A
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:48 am
by Seareach
LM: I think that you should change your title from "Lord" to "Tease"!
You're a very naughty boy! Oooh, but it looks so good, especially the chapter 2 TEASE!
Avatar wrote:SeaReach, you better appreciate LM rushing this out for us.
--A
Ahhh Avatar, I am the Queen of appreciation, especially for such "gifts"...besides...I'm cutting and pasting all his posts and once he's done with the first book, I'll change a few words here and there and then send it off to a publisher with, naturally, my name on the front cover! The quicker he gets it done, the quicker I become an accomplished author! And for such "gifts" I am extremely appreciative!
LM: YOU *KNOW* I'M JOKING!!!!!!!!
...at least I hope you do!
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:56 am
by Loredoctor
Seareach wrote:I'm cutting and pasting all his posts and once he's done with the first book, I'll change a few words here and there and then send it off to a publisher with, naturally, my name on the front cover! The quicker he gets it done, the quicker I become an accomplished author! And for such "gifts" I am extremely appreciative!
*Cue Darth Vader scream: 'Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!' LOL
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:58 am
by Avatar
I've already got the Xenopaedia's SeaReach...what'll you give me for them?
--A
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 12:06 pm
by Seareach
Loremaster wrote:Seareach wrote:I'm cutting and pasting all his posts and once he's done with the first book, I'll change a few words here and there and then send it off to a publisher with, naturally, my name on the front cover! The quicker he gets it done, the quicker I become an accomplished author! And for such "gifts" I am extremely appreciative!
*Cue Darth Vader scream: 'Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!' LOL
Don't worry LM: I'll write a nice acknowledgement to you!
Avatar wrote: I've already got the Xenopaedia's SeaReach...what'll you give me for them?
--A
Av: I'll drop by your house and we can negotiate. Where do you live again...
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 12:12 pm
by Avatar
(Hey, you added your kid to your avatar.
)
--A
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 12:23 pm
by Seareach
Avatar wrote:
(Hey, you added your kid to your avatar.
)
--A
Oooh, maybe I shouldn't have (added the kid)...if I'm starting to make threats!
But, yep, that's my boy...all 28 months of him! Now, if I brought *him* around to your house within a couple of hours you'd probably give me all rights to LM's Xenopaedia as well as anything else I wanted. He's adorable...but a handful. And he's currently into coercing with his teeth! One bite from him and you'd be screaming "HERE! TAKE THE MANUSCRIPT! JUST GET HIM OFF ME!"