Kevin's Watch

Now you dont earn enough money. Are thrown out of your house and have to live in a cardboard box.

I wish it was sunny outside just now.

It is sunny outside now. But it is no longer sunny any other time. All life on earth dies out.

I wish I could fly, right up to the sky.

wish granted....your lungs are frozen solid and you burn up during re-entry.

I wish I could make a wish that was incorruptible.

wish granted.

you have no more wishes.

i wish junk food was good for your health.

*poof* Junk food is healthy. Now no one wants to eat it.

I wish that Roger Waters and David Gilmore could settle their differences and get the band back together.

Wayfriend wrote: I wish that Roger Waters and David Gilmore could settle their differences and get the band back together.

*Poof*
The do and make a movie about it.
Unfortunately it's a blatent rip-off of the Blue Brothers, they are sued, Pink Floyd breaks up again due to internal bickering over it and it never sees the light of day until long after you're dead.


I wish I had a TV that could let me see and hear anything that happened in history.

*Poof*
You become enlightened and when you attempt to go out and tell the truth, you are stoned to death by a group of angry left and right wing radicals.


I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

*poof* You are a processed meat food. You are boiled and served to a lout in Yankee Stadium, converted into flatulance, and are dispersed into the general reekiness that is NYC.

I wish I knew where Whitey Bolger was.

I wish I knew where Whitey Bolger was.

Wish Granted. You receive his exact whereabouts in an anonymous email. On the way to deliver this information to the authorities, however, you are beaten to death by a suspicious looking group of "UMass students" wielding plastic knives and homemade nitrous-propelled potato guns.

I wish I had a PS2.

I wish I had a PS2.

*POOF

I sent you mine.
It doesn't work.

I wish I had a web-cam.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, your computer crashes and you never acquire a new one to hook it up to.

I wish I could get frosted shredded wheat cereal for free.

Alynna Lis Eachann wrote:I wish I could get frosted shredded wheat cereal for free.

No you don't! That stuff is poison.

buuuuut

*poof* Now you're allergic to wheat products.

I wish the Leper Fairly would have made a wish of her own.

Wish granted. Leper Fairy wishes for money for college. Her wish is granted in the form of stacks of counterfeit bills sought after by the feds and the mob. She goes on the run with the money and eneds up at your house, where she, you and all your family are arrested by the RCMP and mistakenly deported to Mongolia instead of Montana. None of you speak Mongolian.

I wish David Marciano had never left Due South.

As you wish. Mr Marciano never left Due South; the rest of the cast, however, did. Unable to carry the series alone and with plummetting viewing figures due to the shoddy replacements for the main actors, Marciano falls into despair and despondency, spending the rest of his days sleeping on benches and drinking cheap wine from a plastic cup bearing a picture of dAN.

I wish I was able to tolerate reading The Lord of the Rings.

I wish I was able to tolerate reading The Lord of the Rings.

Wish granted. You struggle through the trilogy, which is such a monumental struggle that it sours you permanently on the entire genre. You spend the next 35 years reading nothing but anatomical podiatry manuals and the first half of A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens.

I wish Jay's thesis was finished.

DW

*Poof*

Wish granted but the thesis is so big, it requires all the trees left in the rain forest to print. All animal life on the planet is destroyed due to oxygen deprivation.

I wish the original Star Trek had never been cancelled.

Wish granted. Rather than being cancelled, the original Star Trek, now hailed as a work of genius to surpass even Shakespeare, becomes the template for 80% of new television programmes. Your generation and the next spend their viewing time watching these endless, shoddy rip-offs of Star Trek and, disgusted by over-exposure to this warped sub-Trek mosntrosity, you are no longer able to stomach even the original.

I wish I could get a drink without having to walk to the kitchen.

*Poof*

You now have a spring in every room in your house with fresh, cool water. When you wake up in the morning, you have a frog infestation.

I wish my car got better gas mileage.

onewyteduck wrote:
I wish my car got better gas mileage.

*Poof*

It now gets the best gas mileage in the world.

But after the first article is written about it, Exxon murders you and takes your car for "study".



I wish the Moon was made of cheese.