Kevin's Watch

^ Spells chicken "chicken"

< s'true...I'm not fond of our feathered friends. I have problems with most birds, but I do like Big Bird.

V Has been known as Baby Huey

^ Is thinking of my cousin
> Some of my best friends have feathers
v Has recurring nightmares about tar

^ Likes friends that flock together
< The nightmares about tar aren't so bad. It's the nightmares about nicotine that really scare me!
v Wears clothes that are way too tight.

^ Wears pants that are way too tight...leaves nothing to the imagination.
< With the no smoking thing, the weight gain definitely makes clothes a bit more snug.
V Often thinks of Chris De Burgh

^ Like the muppet can get any tighter
< Doesn't know who this Chris De Burgh is
V Has often been compared to Lady Catherine De Burgh.

^ Has never heard Don't Pay The Ferryman
> Has never heard of Lady Catherine De Burgh
v Has fantasies about the Burger King

^ Is totally mistaken about the King. . .
< admists to having fantasies about Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
V thinks Mr. Collins is a good catch

^ Probably knows that Mister Darcy has Ten Thousand a Year, at least!
< Thinks Mister Collins is a good catch for a Charlotte Lucas, which he most certain is not.
V Was seduced by Wickham.

^ was soo sad to see the officers go to Brighton
< narrowly escaped seduction at the hands of Mr. Wickham
V has no earthly idea what we are speaking about

^ Thinks she's so clever bandying about characters I don't know.

< Suspects Pride & Prejudice or some other Austen book, but doesn't really know for sure.

V Has the King's Pox

^ needs to return to medical school
< decided against film school at the last possible moment
V has a naughty video on the internet

^ Went to journalism school instead. Should have stuck with Film.
< Does indeed have a naughty movie on the internet, if you can but find it.
V Was holding the camera.

^ Doesn't quite star in the film, but puts in an amusing cameo

< Holding the camera and something else as well.

V Likes naughty videos more on the raunchy side.

^ If you want to call *that* holding, by all means, go ahead.
< Loves pornography, due to the great infrequency with which he is able to observe in the wild.
V Has 5 more species to observe getting it on before they're considered a naturalist.

^ photograghs pornograghy in the wild
< thought that naturalist was someone who walked around in the nude.
v Believes that Kevin's Watch is a knock-off of a Rolex

^Now knows that a naturalist is someone who's seen 12 different kinds of animals gettin' it on.
< Has a Nice Kevin's Watch. White Gold band.
V Will forgive the previous poster for not coming up with something for them.

^ That's O.K., no problem.
< Instead of going to bed, I'm here posting in KW.
v Wants to get up early tommorow and go to work for me.

^ Wants to sleep in late and play hookie from work and watch talk shows instead.

< Would work for you if I didn't have to go to work myself.

v Is destined to work saying "Would you like to super size that today?"

^ Seems bored with work
< Turned in an application to a Urology clinic yesterday
v Turned in an application to be a Peachy Puff

^ Is obsessed with urine
< Was rejected by the Peachy Puffs
v Wears plaid pants and a hat with a pom pom on it.