Sweet Grace: From the journal pages of Furls Fire

[Cambo]

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Dumbstruck about covers it.

Wow.

[aliantha]

Wow indeed. In that case, I guess I'm glad that y'all didn't make it to E-fest. You all definitely ended up just where you needed to be.

[Lefdmae Deemalr Effaeldm]

I'm not sure about what I'm doing, I've read Cambo's 1000th post here and thought I'll hardly have any more resolve to come and write something here later, maybe even less. I just don't feel like I have any right words, but thought I have to try. It's not exactly my 1000th, and for a reason - Cambo was sincere with that, but I didn't have a thought like that myself, I just saw his and decided then, if I just go now and start counting the last ones to make it so it will feel not right, not honest of me, at least it seems to me so.

This place is not just special, it is special in a way that is different. I don't know the Watch deeply, but I've seen enough to be amazed. And there aren't any words enough to describe the feeling I got when, reading the chapter dissections, I've read the ones by Furls Fire. I simply don't know how to write about that.

[Cambo]

Hello, Eff! I know exactly how you feel. Have you seen my first post in this thread? I felt like you did: there's nothing I could possibly say that could do justice to this place. Words fail me here, and that happens very very rarely. And yet, like you, I felt compelled to try. To at least point towards the effect Furls' legacy has had on me, even if it would be futile to try to capture it.

What you come to realise is, you don't need to put it into words. Everyone here knows.

This place is not just special, it is special in a way that is different.

Unique. This place is unique. I know of no other place, online or offline, remotely like it.

[Fire Daughter]

Mom used to say that Uncle Steve would render all those who spoke to him or read his words speechless. I believe she does as well.

Welcome to her thread, Eff.

It will be awhile before I post more journals. Back at school and life has become quite crazy...alot going on.

[Obi-Wan Nihilo]

I am the very definition of a crusty internet hardass, as battle-ready as they come. I've seen it all, done it all from the very beginning. I grind the bones of trolls to make my bread. But this thread has floored me. Floored me. How the hell did that happen.

I think back on my earlier incarnation, simply exnihilo (a name that refers, ironically enough, to Christology), and the time I spent here going back to 2005. Mostly, making enemies. Not that I planned it that way. Persona non grata would be a good way of describing it. I left this forum for personal reasons in 2008, and haven't been back until recently, with one exception about a year and a half ago. But I felt the push to come back here again, as if searching for something though I knew not what.

Perhaps I have found it.

I really regret profoundly not taking the time to acquaint myself with Furls Fire in person when I had the opportunity. It appears she was (and is) a blessing to all who knew her. The name seems familiar yet I honestly can't say that we ever interacted. In any case, I have seen a glimpse of her here, and what I see is beautiful and inspirational -- and yes, uncanny -- beyond words. It touches me tremendously that such a person could even exist. And her brother Stephen, from the looks of his prose, is an equally inspiring exemplar of the way life is meant to be lived.

I have no idea what any of this means to my life, if anything, but as I sit here today I feel a touch. A presence. That source which lies behind everything we see, waiting quietly, smiling kindly. And Tracie and Stephen without question were connected with that source.

I look forward to continuing to make the acquaintance that I should have made long ago. But, things happen for a reason.

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing.

4 Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13 And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Have lives lived conveyed the truth of these verses more clearly?

Yes: love abideth.

[Fire Daughter]

Welcome to Mom's thread, Exnihilo2!

Love does indeed abide here.

[Obi-Wan Nihilo]

Thanks for your kind welcome, Fire Daughter. It's so very nice to meet you!

[Fire Daughter]

Nice to meet you too.

We've finally settled into our new school year. Heidi had alot of trouble with her schedule, but it all seems to be worked out now. Myles and I are seniors this year and we've begun the process of applying for our graduate programs.

And then there is Jordan, who several months ago auditioned for Julliard. He's been accepted into the music program and will begin in January. :D:D

Ryan has his sights set on MIT and will apply next year. He's a techie like Dad.

It's almost October again, and Mom's birthday is coming up. I hope to get a journal entry or two posted between now and then. Also, the 10th anni of Uncle Steve's passing is almost here, 9/25, so I hope to post something of his as well.

[Obi-Wan Nihilo]

That is wonderful news! Glad to hear that things are going swimmingly with the FF clan... God bless you for all you share with us. Looking forward to reading more from your Mom & Uncle.

[Fire Daughter]

Happy Birthday, Mom.

We miss you every minute of everyday. But, we feel you all around us and hear you whisper in our ears. May you continue to rest in the sweet grace of our Lord eternally.

We love you!

This is what it means to be held
How it feels
when the sacred is torn from your life
and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved
and to know
that the promise was
when everything fell
we'd be held...

[Fist and Faith]

Thanks to Menolly for telling me about Brooke's post. 3-day weekend, so I didn't even know what today's date is.

Happy Birthday, Tracie! I love you.

[Menolly]

Y'all need to come to The Birthday Thread up in The Summonsing. Thanks to aliantha, Furls is not forgotten there.

[Savor Dam]

My dear concierge, perhaps readers who are coming to this anew need not start at the beginning of the Birthday thread and read all 160 pages to reach the post you mentioned?

If so, this will expedite them to the proper place.

[Cambo]

A belated happy birthday to Furls. And thoughts out to all her loved ones.

[Fire Daughter]

Thanks everyone...she loved you all.

[Fire Daughter]

From Deer of the Dawn's blessings thread in Mallory's:

Thanks, FireDaughter. I was pretty much MIA during the time of her passing and didn't find out till much later, but I can tell she had a beautiful spirit. May she rest peacefully in the arms of Christ.

Love, spoken, echoes
Past the point of hearing.
Oxygen molecules shiver
With joy at its passing wave.

Love, acted upon, ripples
Outward into shanty towns,
Concrete jungles tremble
With fear and desire.

Love, remembered, swells
Hearts beyond possibility of forgetfulness.
Human hearts enlarge
With beats and breaths and moments

And love is spoken again.
Love is acted upon
Love is remembered
And we do not forget; this is our life.

That's for FF.

So beautiful

[Fire Daughter]

I hope everyone had a warm and happy holiday season. Ours was beautiful, we did it the way Mom would have wanted us too. Life has been so busy for us and I've really not had the chance to come here until now.

Jordan went off to New York, he's now attending Julliard, we are all so proud of him! He's a bit homesick though and he keeps in touch with all of us via text.

Some big news about Stevie. Because they are home schooled, the little ones need to be tested to make sure they are on track for the grade level they should be at. Well, Stevie, who will be 8 in May, tested at the 6th grade level. In reading comprehension he tested even higher. Also, Chelsea, who will be 12 in March tested at the 10th grade level. And Ryan is fast tracking, and will graduate high school this coming June. Imani, Ayize, and Naeem all tested a grade level higher than they should be. Tristan and Micah both tested 2 grade levels higher. Our little Meggie is doing first grade level school work... So, we are a family of brainiacs! LOL!

Life is moving on, just what Mom would have wanted. Dad is doing pretty good, he misses her so much. But, he knows she would not want him to keep grieving for her.

Anyway, just thought I'd come on and say Hi!

Huggles to you all!

[Savor Dam]

Thanks for the update, FD!

Wonderful and impressive news about Stevie and the rest of the young ones...all of which fits perfectly with the older members of their generation. Happy to hear that Russ is "keepin' on keepin' on."

[Menolly]

How's married life treating you, Fire Daughter? I hope it is everything you dreamed it would be, and more. Still hoping to see photos of the big day one day.