The Ludicrous, Fictitious Star Trek/Star Wars Quote Game

Post by **matrixman** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:25 am

A delirious Luke, while being stuffed into his Tauntaun: "Ben...Yoda...Leia...hot tub..."
Han: "I'm saving your butt for what, kid?"

Post by **Cheval** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:51 pm

Sulu: "Captain. The alien vessel is catching up to us!"
Kirk: "All stations... prepare for battle. It seems to be...
oh my god! It is! It's Calm Horizons! We're all doomed!"

Post by **aTOMiC** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:55 pm

"Captain to crew. All privileges and leaves are hereby canceled until I find out who stole my toupee."

Post by **matrixman** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:15 pm

"Oh I've made my meaning clear, Kirk. I've deprived you of your toupee, and when I swing around I mean to deprive you of your women!"

Post by **IrrationalSanity** » Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:14 am

"What do you mean, 'Nobody knew the T stood for Tiberius?'"

Post by **matrixman** » Thu Dec 11, 2008 7:31 pm

Transporter Room: "Captain, we had a serious transporter malfunction. We lost the individual that was beaming up. We heard some hideous screaming, and then he was gone. It looks like all his atoms have scattered into space."
Kirk: "Who was the individual?"
Transporter Room: "One named Jar-Jar Binks."

(Sound of wild celebration in the background)

Post by **aTOMiC** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:49 pm

"Well Doc, what's the prognosis?"
"I hate to say this Captain...but all my tests show that your face is beginning to look like Uranus."
"Hmmm...that explains my bad breath."

Post by **IrrationalSanity** » Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:37 pm

"Hey! Who planted a Starship in my cornfield!?!"

Post by **Krazy Kat** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:53 pm

Mr. Spock plays chess with a Ferengi

Spock, 'Bishop to Queen's Bishop 3, that's fools-mate.'

Disgruntled and frowning Ferengi, 'Has anyone ever told you Spock, that you're a total nobhead!'

Post by **Vader** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 7:22 pm

"Beam him up, Scotty"

"You know, the last place I'd like to be beamed is up Scotty".

Post by **dlbpharmd** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 1:47 pm

Sulu: Captain, a Cylon baseship has just appeared in front of us!

Kirk: Beam over all of the 3s, 6s and 8s, but leave all of the others.

Post by **Brother Charn** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:19 pm

Chakotay: I'm on Star Trek, look at my quick tattoo that makes me look exotic.
Seven-of-Nine: I'm on Star Trek, look at my face-pasties that make me look exotic, but don't distract the eye from my tight outfit or outrageously over-engineered ta-tas.
Tuvok: Y'all, please cancel this show, so I can grow out this ridiculous chili-bowl fro and take off these damn latex ears!
Neelix: None of you f*@#&^rs have any right to complain - do you know how long I have to sit in the make-up chair, just to look like a complete doofus? Shut the hell up now!
Holodoc: Dammit Janeway, I'm a doctor, not a virus-removal program!
Kate Mulgrew: I'm the spitting image and voice of Katharine Hepburn, but I was a last-minute stand-in after the first chick decided she couldn't stand the shame. I'm a pioneer!
Gene Roddenberry: <rolls over in grave>
Snarky Voyager Audience: Hmmm - ever notice that no matter what happens on this show, they never make any progress, and all the problems of the world are solved within the hour, in such a way that you could shuffle the episodes into random order, and not have a single continuity issue, other than the people that left?

Post by **dlbpharmd** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:46 pm

LMAO!

Post by **Elfgirl** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 6:29 am

Luke has trouble marinading steaks for the Alliance barbecue.

Obi-wan whispers "Use the sauce, Luke"...

Post by **Krazy Kat** » Wed Feb 18, 2009 1:48 pm

Cpt.Kirk: Mr.Checkov, set speed at warp factor two.
Checkov: Warp factor two, captain *tut!*.
Cpt.Kirk: What's the matter, Mr.Checkov?
Checkov: I'm fed up with the same Starfield Screensaver, sir. Couldn't we have the 3D Pipes for a change?
Cpt.Kirk: No, Mr.Checkov! This happens to be a science-fiction show.
Checkov: *tut!* Warp factor two it is, captain.

Post by **IrrationalSanity** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:44 pm

"My mind to your mind.
Your thoughts to my thoughts.
My hand to your pocket.
Your wallet to my pocket."

Post by **Seven Words** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:36 pm

"I sense a great disturbance in my bowels...as if a thousand thousands beans digested all at once..."

*thunderous breaking of wind*

"And then were silent"

Post by **safetyjedi** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:27 am

Jaina Solo to Jagged Fel : "Of course I'll marry you but I am not naming our kid 'Hand Solo,' no matter how funny it is."

Post by **aTOMiC** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 4:24 pm

Kirk: Spock, who's that guy from that old tv show? You know the one I mean.
Spock: Insufficient data.

Post by **dANdeLION** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:24 pm

Lieutenant Savvik to Captain Kirk: "I'm not your Vulcan maid!"

Kevin's Watch

Kevin's Watch

The Ludicrous, Fictitious Star Trek/Star Wars Quote Game