Page 16 of 19
Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:19 am
by Lazy Luke
Unfortunately their relationshp takes a drastic downturn and you see them on Jerry Springer.
Your now on high doses of clondine for the sheer emabarressment.
Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:09 am
by Skyweir
Fortunately the clondine kills of your colonal ego and gets rid of that nasty problem thats making YOU look bad
Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 5:29 pm
by samrw3
Unfortunately Springer's bodyguards want you to look bad for TV ratings and show doctored video of you cheating on your spouse
Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 2:49 am
by FindailsCrispyPancakes
Fortunately, the 150 lbs of impacted sausage meat has turned zombie and materialises again, firmly embedded in your sadly overworked colon. This is fortunate because it protects the rest of your vital organs from the worst effects of the horrific violence your enraged spouse inflicts on you.
(Sorry Sky, I had to bring the monster you created back for a sequel. I ony just caught up with the thread!)
Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:10 pm
by Skyweir
Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:11 pm
by FindailsCrispyPancakes
Oh my God, what a horrible horrible thought lol. The imagery in this thread is definitely the most vivid anywhere on the forum...
Fortunately you wake up and realise the whole colon thing with the sausage meat and the violence was all just a dream!
Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:59 pm
by samrw3
Unfortunately...your ex spouse is worst nightmare than impacted colon ...where is the Matrix when you need it?
Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:22 am
by Skyweir
Fortunately nightmares only occur in your sleep so you are safe from your ex
so long as you can stay awake.
Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:33 am
by FindailsCrispyPancakes
Unfortunately you are absolutely knackered from the exhausting ordeal you have recently endured. You immediately fall into a deep sleep from which it will be impossible to wake for some time.
Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:52 am
by Skyweir
Fortunately for some inexplicable reason you dream sweet dreams and are not plagued by nasty nightmares of your ex.
Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 3:37 am
by Khaliban
Unfortunately, failure to respond to severe colon damage indicates a profound vegetative state.
Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:12 am
by Skyweir
Fortunately you are highly responsive to profound veggies and are much healthier for it
Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 3:04 pm
by samrw3
Unfortunately your good health has made you too annoying to party with.
Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 5:57 am
by Khaliban
Fortunately, you don't need those sick losers.
Posted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:07 am
by FindailsCrispyPancakes
Unfortunately they need you and before you know it there are more of them than ever. They begin following you and refuse to form orderly queues
Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2019 2:06 pm
by Skyweir
Fortunately by purely good luck .. you are freed of those losers as their refusal to form orderly queues gets them all killed in an egregiously horrific road traffic accident
Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 4:56 am
by FindailsCrispyPancakes
Unfortunately the egregiously bad traffic accident triggers flashbacks to your time in 'Nam (that's ''Nam' as in Dagenham, East London, UK), causing you to inadvertantly slaughter many European tourists in a Starbucks before you return to your senses.
You fall to your knees and and scream "Oh Lord what have I done?" once again before whiling away yet another evening staring silently at the blood on your hands.
Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:47 am
by Skyweir
Oh dear g.o.d
FORTUNATELY
It was just a dream sequence.. you never killed any European Tourists ever
gotta love dream sequences.. am I right?
... so now relieved that you dont have any blood on your hands .. you go make breakfast.
Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:53 pm
by Cheval
Unfortunately, you never get to enjoy you breakfast because Thanos snapped his fingers and you turned to ashes like 1/2 of all living thi...
Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2019 8:11 pm
by samrw3
Fortunately you had accidently stepped on Ant-Man during the snap and the Avengers during rescue him also rescue you.
