Kevin's Watch

Frroooff!

You now have unlimited free time for the gym. You've been given a four-week redundancy, and your wife now wants an "open" marriage.

I wish I was happy being single.

Granted, but you see all these cooing couples around you and it makes you wish you weren't single

I wish I didn't have to corrupt that last wish for Elfgirl

Poof - wish granted.

Elfy ends up with Orlando Bloom and lives happily cooing away in a modest 15 bedroom mansion in New Zealand.

I wish that wish was real!

The wish is real!! It comes true!!!!!
But! Orlando Bloom turns out to be out and away too much on location for you to build a life together, and as a result the two of you end up drifting apart with the result that you wish you had settled for someone more "ordinary"

I wish winter would hurry up and come to a finish

*poof*

You get two months of precipitation in a little under an hour. Being in England, this means your car is under water; thank god the first floor is really the second floor, because you live there now, occassionally climbing up onto the roof and signalling for a helicopter, in vain, as two months of fog is pretty thick when it comes all at once.

I wish SRD would dedicate the last book of the Final Chronicles to me.

*ping*

Following incidents best left unmentioned, SRD dedicates The Last Dark: "To the man who ruined my life." Everyone dies at the end. Wayfriend has a cameo role.


I wish I had an extra week in which to get my project work done...

Bup bup bup - baDOOOOM!

Wish granted! Prof screwed up calendar dates and you have an extra week to do your project. Unfortunately, you have to work double shifts all week.

I wish my luck would improve.

Shazam!

Your luck does improve...
because it sure couldn't get any worse that what it is now!



I wish the company I work for gives me the raise I deserve.

Zataran!!

Giving you the money you deserve, unfortunatly bankruptsthem, and they go out of business. You decide to go out on your oqwn, but the wish still carries its weight, dissabling you from charging ludicris amounts of money, therefore you are shunned by the entire world.

I wish I didn't feel so guilty.

Rice-A-Roni!

You are a sociopath. It takes a few years, and 18 people die, but they finally get you to the gas chamber. Too bad the intervening years are in solitary. The only up side is that your boss finally got what was coming.

I wish the good food wasn't so bad for you.

*waves wand*

*FOUF!*

The "good food" is no longer bad for you. Unfortunately this is so only because your stomach has been replaced by that of a goat's, and you now crave to eat shirts, can, poop, and anything handed to you by a child. Social stigma ensues and you live the live of Goatboy.

I ish it were Friday NOW.

*shazbat*

It's now Friday. Friday, March 3, 2227. All your friends are dead. All you're hobbies have become extinct. No one has listened to that kind of music in a long time. You don't have the requisite brain hardware to play the new video games. And you quickly get arrested for not procatulating on a busy bilmwid properly. Scientists continually want specimans of your bowels in order to recreate lost species of bacteria.

I wish my kinds would grow up to be successful, and take care of me in my old age.

*Haaaa-waaaa* Granted!!!!!!

But they grow up to be so successful that they are in great demand. They earn stacks of money, but live the other side of the world. As a result, they do take care of you in your old age, but only by sending money to carers to care for you - not quite what you had in mind.

I wish I could think of something to wish for ....

*Fouf*

You do indeed think of something to wish for, and your copy of the "Joy of Sex" hand delivered by Don Knotts wearing nothing but a Winnie the Poo pillow case (on his head), is well-recieved by you both. Ahem.

I wish I could pop into a time machine and warn the residents of Palm Beach county, FL about the "butterfly ballot" that caused Bush to be appointed by the Supreme Court in 2000.

FANANA-BOOF!!!

Wish granted. Your trip back in time secures the presidency for Al Gore, Iraq war never happens, US signs a plethora of green-is-good treaties, whaling is made illegal and all's right with the world. Unfortunately, a meteor hits the earth soon after and the planet is destroyed. (sucks, dont' it?)

I wish I never got another migraine...

Elfgirl wrote:I wish I never got another migraine...

Although I wish you'd never get one either...

******MAZALTOFF******
The frontal labotmy takes care of all the migranes.

I wish I could attent the Elohmfest, to see everyone face to face.

*Demondim-Spawn*

You get to go to see everyone face-to-face...
and due to a bad case of CRS,
you cannot remember why you are there nor the people who you've met.

Spoiler

(CRS: Can't Remember Shit)

I wish this stupid Daylight Savings Time would just go away!

*Plink*
The earth tilts completely onto its side. The seasons now include several months of daylight and several of continual darkness, eliminating the purpose of DST.


I wish I had a turkey sandwich.

Babaganoush!

You get your turkey sandwich. It gives you gastro and you end up throwing up your body weight in bile.

I wish I didn't have to work on a sub-standard computer anymore!

*PONG!*

Your wish comes true.
You get, as a gift, a super-computer that is so advanced,
that NOBODY can figure out exactly how it works.
It also has the very latest (prototype) version of Windows and that REALLY screws things up!

I wish that the weather will be good for my drive to Georgia tomorrow.