Kevin's Watch

wayfriend wrote:He. Could. Go. All. The. Way.

ayeup.

Although I suspect once Jenn or dw puts their minds to it...

...aliantha too.

Shoot, I'm looking forward to some good entries by a whole host of competitors...

Bloody brilliant, dlb!

Top Ten Things Donaldson Will Do After Finishing The Last Chronicles:

10. Start autobiography titled: I Am Not Covenant!
9. Try his luck as romance writer to improve sales
8. Tell "slowpoke" G.R.R. Martin to hurry up with his next book
7. Write self-help guide "Karate Techniques For Lepers"
6. Send guys in burlap and ashes to High Lord Jay's house
5. Dress up as the Mahdoubt and do the "Time Warp"
4. Play practical joke at next Elohimfest by having Terry Brooks show up in his place
3. Spam KW
2. Strangle the next guy in an ochre robe he sees

and the #1 thing Donaldson will do:

1. Swear off writing another damn fantasy novel for the next 20 years

Awesome MM!

Menolly wrote: Shoot, I'm looking forward to some good entries by a whole host of competitors...

Where is everyone?

dlbpharmd wrote:

Menolly wrote: Shoot, I'm looking forward to some good entries by a whole host of competitors...

Where is everyone?

I'm still thinking!

aliantha wrote:

dlbpharmd wrote:

Menolly wrote: Shoot, I'm looking forward to some good entries by a whole host of competitors...

Where is everyone?

I'm still thinking!

Well, hurry up, for crying out loud!

Oh fine. <grumbles>

Top Ten Things You Won't See in the Last Chrons

10. Glimmermere Ice Rink
9. LOLcats (too much risk of one saying "nom")
8. Caesure seizure
7. Any character pointing out to Anele, "Hey, did you know your name spelled backwards is Elena?"
6. Ranyhyn rodeo
5. The Two Tree
4. Foul Duck
3. Andelain Amusement Park
2. Joan rolling over in bed and telling TC, "You'll *never* believe the dream I just had..."

...and the number-one thing you won't see in the Last Chrons:

Dead Lords Rave (All-Night Party! Dancing Girls!)

Top 10 Rejected Lord Foul Schemes, Manipulations and Plots for Destroying the Land and the Arch of Time

10. Go into the house of every Stonedowner, Treehugger and Lord and leave a bag of flaming Arghule poo on the doorstep, just to be an ass.
9. Build a series of big-box shopping convenience stores called "Foul-Mart" across the Land offering offering tons of high end goods at low, low prices, thereby making all of the small local buisnesses bankrupt. Move your stores to the real world, leaving the Land with nothing and put the Land into a decade-long recession.
8. Fly around the earth really, really fast and then hit it with an amasing amount of force, causing time to go backwards. Once back in time, give Lord Berek a terrible wedgie and call him a "Nancy-boy." Berek cries and goes home. (What, Lord Foul can't fly? And you can't travel back in time this way? It worked on Superman...)
7. Release a chemical global warming agent into the atmosphere very, very slowly, that will cause the temperature of the earth to raise a tenth of a degree every one hundered years. In 4000 millenia, laugh.
6. Convince Thomas Covenant that he is, in fact, the White Gourd Wielder. Then pummel him with oranges.
5. Say "Strom", summoning Strom Thurmond. Command Strom Thurmond to destroy the Land using his Jedi powers.
4. Challenge Covenant to a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors for possession of his ring. Laugh when Covenant crys as he is unable to make the any of the signs correctly due to missing his fingers. If that doesn't work, cheat.
3. Give up on trying to destroy the Land and the Arch of Time and try to destroy something easier, like, say, Wyoming.
2. Um...I donno...a bazooka?
1. Introduce Linden Avery to the Land...oh wait...

-jay

aliantha wrote: 5. The Two Tree

When Jay gets rolling, he's pretty much untouchable.

7. Release a chemical global warming agent into the atmosphere very, very slowly, that will cause the temperature of the earth to raise a tenth of a degree every one hundered years. In 4000 millenia, laugh.

Genius!!!

aliantha wrote: 7. Any character pointing out to Anele, "Hey, did you know your name spelled backwards is Elena?"

Now that I'd want to see in the books.

6. Ranyhyn rodeo

And that would break my heart.

5. Say "Strom", summoning Strom Thurmond. Command Strom Thurmond to destroy the Land using his Jedi powers.

Top Ten Songs in ‘Thomas Covenant: The Musical’ (links provided for those that don't know the songs, bear in mind that lyrics would of course be tweaked!)

10. Elena and Covenant, the ‘dead Kevin’ scene
'Papa Don't Preach'

9. Crossing Hotash Slay
'There's a Hole in My Shoe'

8. Fire-Lions on Mount Thunder
'Fire'

7. Into the Caesure
'The Time Warp'

6. Fight scene between Brinn and Ak-Haru Kenaustin Ardenol
'Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting'

5. Introduction to Lord Foul
'Lazy Sunday'
('Oh wouldn’t it be nice to get on with your neighbours, but they make it very clear they’ve got no room for ravers’)

4. Introduction to Linden
'Linden Av'ry Superstar'

3. Caamora at Seareach
'Be My Bunsen Burner'

2. Lord Mhoram's Victory
'I Am Superman'

1. Foamfollower before Lord Foul
'The Laughing Policeman' (chorus)

Stonemaybe wrote:Top Ten Songs in ‘Thomas Covenant: The Musical’ (links provided for those that don't know the songs, bear in mind that lyrics would of course be tweaked!)

You're a quick learner.
Well done, Stone!

(I love the Kung Fu Fighting lipsync!)

Yeah, good job, everyone!

It's good to see some new contestants.

wayfriend wrote:It's good to see some new contestants.

*nodding*

agreed

Fabulous list, Stonemaybe! You know your music!

Menolly wrote:(I love the Kung Fu Fighting lipsync!)

Heh, I preferred to watch the real thing - i.e. Mr. Douglas. I first heard the song only a few years ago during one of those late night infomercials selling 70's music. It's very catchy and charmingly naive - which I guess describes 70's pop/disco pretty well.

Could you find a real video for the song with him? All I found was some show where it ended too soon...

Well, if there ever was a "real" video for that song, I didn't see it. Was that show the 1974 live performance you're referring to? uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lTiSzFp4arg

That seems to be the best one with Douglas. There's also this one: uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HZGMVKaLLOI

Not a lot out there featuring Douglas - but a whole lot of tribute videos and anime crap.

No, neither one was the one I saw, and both were way better.
Thanks mm!