Kevin's Watch

Men jokes...
women jokes...

You humans are all the same.

A horse walks into a bar...

Jim walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.

He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on
a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jim and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jim says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Jim placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge
did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Jim,
saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Jim replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5
o'clock news and so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jim took the money.

Excellent, Murrin!!!

Hey, there's some good jokes here! I just heard one about a blonde who was having trouble putting a puzzle together. She told her boyfriend that the picture on the box was a tiger. When he got there, he helped her to put the frosted flakes back in the box.

James wrote:Hmmm, I guess I was being too subtle. I find this kind of humour to be thoroughly distasteful.

First, sarcasm has rarely done well in text.

Second, the best humor is distasteful. Don't be uppity. If you don't like it, don't read it.

That said, brunette jokes... 'cause I can.

What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?

Spoiler

A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?

Spoiler

Invisible.

What do brunettes miss most about a great party?

Spoiler

The invitation

What's a brunette's mating call?

Spoiler

"Has the blonde left yet? "

Why is brunette considered an evil color?

Spoiler

When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?

Spoiler

A hostage

Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?

Spoiler

It matches their moustache.

How are a blonde and a computer the same?

Spoiler

You don't really appreciate either one until they go down.

Warning: Ick factor

Spoiler

A leper walks into a bar, sits down next to another man to watch the game, and orders a beer. The barman brings it, and as he sets it down, he takes one look at the leper and promptly yarks all over the bar, ruining the drink. The leper, understandably, is quite upset, and the mortified bartender apologzes profusely and brings him a fresh drink. Upon setting it down, he takes one look at the leper and promptly yarks all over him, again ruining his beer. The thoroughly discombobulated bartender again apologizes to the man and brings him yet another beer, on the house. As he sets it down he pales, and begins to heave. Furious, the leper slams his hands on the bar and demands "What is your problem?? Am I so repulsive that you just can't control yourself? Because my lawyer....." Frantic, the bartender yelps, "Sir, I'm so sorry! It's not you at all! I would never discriminate against a sick man, but sir....the guy next to you keeps dipping his doritos in your arm!"

DukkhaWaynhim wrote:dw's pun-fu mastery has reached a level of obliqueness (o-bleak-ness?) such that it now goes entirely undetected...

a shovel might be a cad bury-bar [with a dirt-spatula on one end].

I can't decide if you have attained the ultimate height of pun-fu expertise and transcended to an entirely incomprehensible plane of pun, or...utterly not.

James wrote:Hmmm, I guess I was being too subtle. I find this kind of humour to be thoroughly distasteful.

You surprise me, James. I didn't think you found anything distasteful.

There's these 3 girls (blonde, brunette and redhead) who walk into a bar and then a cop comes in and realizes they were all under age so they all bolted. They ran into an alley where there were 3 trash bags...then the police come and the officer kicks the first one (where the brunette was) and she says "meow" and the officer says "oh it's just a bunch of cats" then he kicks the next one where the red haired girl was hiding and she says "woof woof" and the officer says "it's only a bunch of dogs" then he kicks the last bag where the blonde is hiding and she says "potato's potato's."

Here's a good story...

"One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, nd re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yep.............SHE'S BLONDE"




(ps, GOOD jokes Waddley!! 'Bout time the brunettes copped some!):lol: