Kevin's Watch

A Ranyhyn walks into a bar and orders a large whisky....

The barman looks at him & says " Hey, why the long face??"

Rocksister wrote:Zen, love your avatar and your sig line............ toadly cool...........

Croak you very much!

Seeker of Truth wrote:A Ranyhyn walks into a bar and orders a large whisky....

The barman looks at him & says " Hey, why the long face??"

Covenant walks into a bar and orders a whisky, neat.
"How much?" says the bartender.
TC puts his fingers to the glass and says, "Two fingers."

Mhoram takes Covenant to the bar.

"Why are we always going to the bar, Mhoram"?

"Well, ehm, I swore the Oath of Peace..."

Covenant walks into a bar...

...And then the stars swarmed above, and the only thing that the bartender was sure he could see was a single red welt, clear and deadly, transfixing Covenant's forehead like a spear.

Ya know why there are so few marriages in The Land?
Because weddings rings are rare due to the diamonddraught!

oohhh, I just kill myself!

[quote="DirectorDios"] weddings rings are rare due to the diamonddraught!

Sweet pun.
TC walks into a bar. Bartender yells "Hey, we don't serve lepers here!"
TC says "That's ok, I don't eat lepers."

TC and a Ranyhyn walk into a bar. At a table, 3 collies and a chihuahua are playing poker. As the night goes on, the chihuahua gets madder and madder, losing every hand, complaining, accusing the collies of cheating.
The collies just laughed, and drank, and insulted the chihuahua. Finally, the Ranyhyn could stand it no longer. He walked over to the table and said "Could you please be quiet? We're trying to have a conversation over here." The dogs looked up, stunned. The chihuahua said, "Holy s#$^, a talking horse!"

Honestly, the jokes in this thread are as good as it gets!!!

Q: How does a gang of thirsty ur-viles get into a crowded bar?
A: They wedge themselves in.

Q: How can you tell when a Raver is in the bar?
A: When your girlfriend suddenly gets possessive.


BC aka DW aka D

Some good humor here. Well done.

For those that may not be aware and are looking for more TCTC humor, you really should visit the Naughty TCTC Limerick Thread

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic ... t=limerick

or perhaps a soap opera is more to your liking...

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic ... ight=burns

Either way make sure you have a fresh change of underpants

BTW...beware if you haven't read the Last Chrons...lots of chars from that set in the soap.

Overheard as a frantic 12 year old SRD runs through the school yard, a pack of raving bullies hot on his heels:

"Pussiant! I said you were Pussiant!!

hahaha these are all awesome

Bannor leads the Unbeliever through the passages of Revelstone, and stops and bends at the waist to retrieve an item on the stone floor.

Covenant gasps at the sight, his unbelief pale and forgotten at this affront to his new land-keen senses.

"HellFire and Damnation!" He screamed hoarsely, his hands sprang too late to cover his face; the image was indelibly branded into his mind.

"I don't care if you haven't slept for two thousand years! Bend over in front of me in that -- that tunic -- again and I'll bring this bloody rock down around your ears!"

Bannor's visage showed a fleeting trace of embarassment, and then his usual stolid gaze returned. Covenant, his face covered, whimpered weakly and the remembered horror of the scene.

"Forgive me, Ur Lord. My tunic -- it was taken from the wash-house in haste. Perhaps it belongs to another bloodguard, one lesser of girth and stature than I. Clearly, it --- it does not suffice."

TC walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "What'll you have?"
TC asseverates, "A flacon of your uttermost efficacious tipple. Furthermore, I beseech from you a taintless pilsener from which to quaff."
The bartender says, "Is Donaldson writing your lines again?"

Covenant staggers into a Stonedownor bar. He is bedraggled and starving.

Covenant: Hellfire!! Can't any of you useless idiots help me out?!!
Barman: Certainly sir, which way did you come in ?

3000 years later, Covenant and Linden walk into the same bar. As usual, they are arguing furiously.

Covenant: Large JD on the rocks!! And whatever she wants!
Barman: I'm sorry sir, we don't sell white gold rings here.

[/quote]

Question: Where does Warmark Hile Troy keep his armies?
Answer:

Spoiler

In his sleevies!

Wow, stunned over that last one..............

Thomas Covenant is lost, so he calls his pal Esmer for directions. Esmer gives him complex instructions to reach his destination, and days later, under a blistering sun, Covenant stumbles underneath a gigantic tree in full bloom. As he struggles to look up, he sees Esmer, next to an equally gigantic hive abuzz with life, and a stopwatch. Furious, Covenant screams, "Hellfire! You gave me directions to you? What good does that do me?!" "You are here for what I can offer you, Thomas Covenant," replies Esmer. "Offer me!?! OFFER ME??!! I'm outta here, keep your damn shade and bee-trials!"

Shade and bee trials???? that one flew over my head! Otherwise, good all around!

TC walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, I'm sorry sir, we're all out! So TC exclaims, I don't believe it!