Kevin's Watch

in hearthrall antonicus signature 'tis wrote:Chairman of M E M L A

Furls Fire wrote:

Orlion wrote:Necessary? UNFORTUNATELY???!!!! Linden is the Savior of the Land, all who believe on her name shall be saved, those who believe not shall be damned! REPENT, O YE FALLEN ONES!!!!

Yeah yeah...she was "well chosen" and so forth...but does she have to be so...so...whiney???

Whiney? Now waaaiiiitttt a...minute. Have you read the first Chrons lately? Ms. Linden plays the part of Whiney #2 in the credits of this here fantasy trilo-lilogy.

Linden. Her inability to make a decision. Infuriorating! Can't even think/write/type complete sentence!

At least with Cov you knew at some point that he would lay the smack down - he had that in him. Aah, why am I defending She-Duh...

All hail Linden Avery, the White Gold Whiner!

Still, she wasn't all THAT bad in the 2nd Chrons. How 'bout a group that didn't mind her then but despises her so far in the Last?

THOOLAH thinks Linden is a whiny bitch, but honestly, I think THOOLAH merely perceives this because it fits the standard Epic Fantasy format that we've all been subconsciously taught since we've been able to read. I'm sure if I thought about it, there are dozens of examples to cite, but really, the main example is all that should be necessary. That example is Frodo Baggins, the penultimate whiny bitch of Epic Fantasy. It's not fair, really. Any time a ring of ultimate power gets handed down to someone, that someone is going to be automatically assumed to be a whiny bitch. Fortunately, Linden slept with Covenent, so nobody's accused her of some weird Brokeback-mountainish relationship like Frodo had with Sam, though that may be next on the THOOLAH agenda. It's a shame, really, that THOOLAH won't believe the truth of what I just wrote and change their name to THOOFBH, because Frodo's where the blame truly lies.

The constipated Frodo from the movie abomination or the thoughtful Frodo that could kick your ass from the book?

___ wrote:THOOLAH thinks Linden is a whiny bitch, but honestly, I think THOOLAH merely perceives this because it fits the standard Epic Fantasy format that we've all been subconsciously taught since we've been able to read. I'm sure if I thought about it, there are dozens of examples to cite, but really, the main example is all that should be necessary. That example is Frodo Baggins, the penultimate whiny bitch of Epic Fantasy. It's not fair, really. Any time a ring of ultimate power gets handed down to someone, that someone is going to be automatically assumed to be a whiny bitch. Fortunately, Linden slept with Covenent, so nobody's accused her of some weird Brokeback-mountainish relationship like Frodo had with Sam, though that may be next on the THOOLAH agenda. It's a shame, really, that THOOLAH won't believe the truth of what I just wrote and change their name to THOOFBH, because Frodo's where the blame truly lies.

This post deserves a Watchie.

High Lord Tolkien wrote:The constipated Frodo from the movie abomination or the thoughtful Frodo that could kick your ass from the book?

"When the man with a pistol meets the whiny bitch with a talisman of innominate power, you said the man with a pistol is a dead man. Let's see if it's true."

Fascinating. Of course, this means Anele is Gollum, Mhoram is Gandalf, and the Mahdoubt is Tom Bombadil, which bodes ill for the Mahdoubt if they ever make a Covenant movie.

dAN!!! You're back!

Anele said, "My preciousssss ssstone...."

___ wrote:...It's a shame, really, that THOOLAH won't believe the truth of what I just wrote and change their name to THOOFBH, because Frodo's where the blame truly lies.

Ah, THOOFBH could be either Frodo Baggins Haters or Fantasy Bedtime Hour...

Jenn would adore there being The Holy Order Of Fantasy Bedtime Hour!

It should be THOOWBAEFWB (The Holy Order Of Whiners Bitching About Epic Fantasy's Whiny Bitches).

Although they've been pretty quiet lately.

--A

Good Lord. The further I get into AATE, the more I realize the most suitable leader for THOOLAH is none other than

Spoiler

Linden Avery.

Nobody hates Linden Avery more than that person!

___ wrote:Good Lord. The further I get into AATE, the more I realize the most suitable leader for THOOLAH is none other than

Spoiler

Linden Avery.

Nobody hates Linden Avery more than that person!

dANdeLION wrote:Good Lord. The further I get into AATE, the more I realize the most suitable leader for THOOLAH is none other than

Spoiler

Linden Avery.

Nobody hates Linden Avery more than that person!

Spoiler

You, if you were Linden Avery.

would hate you too, if the best your Glorious Loyal Army could say about you was "Opinion Pending."

Methinks OPAL is a little bit like Rodney Dangerfield's mom. When he came whining to her that "nobody liked him", all she said back was "Oh honey, don't say that, EVERYBODY doesn't know you yet."

Actually, Linden's Army and OPAL are separate groups.

Other than that picky observation, the best response I have is "I resemble that remark..."

Savor Dam wrote:Actually, Linden's Army and OPAL are separate groups."

Okies, I stand educated and corrected then! So there is an all out proselityzing Linden's Army, in addition to the more "judgement withheld" OPAL. Good to know, that, along with TOOLAH seems to cover the whole Linden spectrum.

I too agree the whole "Whiny Frodo" comment is brilliant and Watchy-worthy.

Cheers.

Also gotta love the Brokeback Mount Doom post. Frodo and Sam have definitely got something going on. You just know for a fact that, if only they had normal-sized feet, they'd both be obsessed with shoes...