Kevin's Watch

CovenantJr wrote:30%? I think I'm being ripped off here. As the only other member of the exclusive Jr/Emma Clique, I demand evens!

Yesterday afternoon, a daring bank heist occurred at the Imperial Branch on Portage and Main. Eyewitnesses reported seeing at least four individuals involved in the heist: three persons, and an animal that was apparently trained to break down walls. There is fierce debate among the eyewitnesses as to what type of animal it actually was. But they all agree it was white in color, or albino. The other three robbers remain unidentified. The bank has not yet disclosed how much money was taken.

Constable Zeno Stiffupperlips of the Winnipeg Police says this is one of the most unusual bank robberies he has come across in his years on the force. "Well, I can tell you, I've never heard of burglars using animals to do their dirty work before. These people are sick."

Asked to comment on the nature of the unusual animal, Const. Stiffupperlips said: "At this time, we still do not have a consensus on the animal's identity. The zoo has informed us that they have never had any large albino species of animal in their care, so the appearance of this creature is a complete surprise to them, as it is to us. Our zoologists are consulting with other wildlife authorities from around the world on this matter. I can't comment any further."

The Winnipeg Humane Society is also closely following the investigation. Melanie Meow of the Society said, "We are deeply concerned that these unscrupulous thieves are training animals to perpetrate their crimes. From what we can gather, this albino animal must be a rare species and very likely endangered. We don't know how on earth this animal got to our city, but it's tragic that it wound up being used by criminals. I fear for the health of this animal."

Matrixman wrote:-excerpt from the Winnipeg Free Press, Saturday edition:

Yesterday afternoon, a daring bank heist occurred at the Imperial Branch on Portage and Main. Eyewitnesses reported seeing at least four individuals involved in the heist: three persons, and an animal that was apparently trained to break down walls. There is fierce debate among the eyewitnesses as to what type of animal it actually was. But they all agree it was white in color, or albino. The other three robbers remain unidentified. The bank has not yet disclosed how much money was taken.

Constable Zeno Stiffupperlips of the Winnipeg Police says this is one of the most unusual bank robberies he has come across in his years on the force. "Well, I can tell you, I've never heard of burglars using animals to do their dirty work before. These people are sick."

Asked to comment on the nature of the unusual animal, Const. Stiffupperlips said: "At this time, we still do not have a consensus on the animal's identity. The zoo has informed us that they have never had any large albino species of animal in their care, so the appearance of this creature is a complete surprise to them, as it is to us. Our zoologists are consulting with other wildlife authorities from around the world on this matter. I can't comment any further."

The Winnipeg Humane Society is also closely following the investigation. Melanie Meow of the Society said, "We are deeply concerned that these unscrupulous thieves are training animals to perpetrate their crimes. From what we can gather, this albino animal must be a rare species and very likely endangered. We don't know how on earth this animal got to our city, but it's tragic that it wound up being used by criminals. I fear for the health of this animal."

Hig wrote:*BAM HONK BOING*

Matrixman wrote:-excerpt from the Winnipeg Free Press, Saturday edition:

Yesterday afternoon, a daring bank heist occurred at the Imperial Branch on Portage and Main. Eyewitnesses reported seeing at least four individuals involved in the heist: three persons, and an animal that was apparently trained to break down walls. There is fierce debate among the eyewitnesses as to what type of animal it actually was. But they all agree it was white in color, or albino. The other three robbers remain unidentified. The bank has not yet disclosed how much money was taken.

Constable Zeno Stiffupperlips of the Winnipeg Police says this is one of the most unusual bank robberies he has come across in his years on the force. "Well, I can tell you, I've never heard of burglars using animals to do their dirty work before. These people are sick."

Asked to comment on the nature of the unusual animal, Const. Stiffupperlips said: "At this time, we still do not have a consensus on the animal's identity. The zoo has informed us that they have never had any large albino species of animal in their care, so the appearance of this creature is a complete surprise to them, as it is to us. Our zoologists are consulting with other wildlife authorities from around the world on this matter. I can't comment any further."

The Winnipeg Humane Society is also closely following the investigation. Melanie Meow of the Society said, "We are deeply concerned that these unscrupulous thieves are training animals to perpetrate their crimes. From what we can gather, this albino animal must be a rare species and very likely endangered. We don't know how on earth this animal got to our city, but it's tragic that it wound up being used by criminals. I fear for the health of this animal."