Kevin's Watch

Posted: **Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:39 pm**

"What V'ger needs to evolve is a human quality - our capacity to make no sense at all..."

Posted: **Mon Oct 03, 2005 7:27 am**

damn it Kirk, I'm a gynocolgist, not a general practioner!

Posted: **Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:53 am**

"So, Data, tell me - just how 'like a human' are you?"

"I am.....fully functional."

"Prove it."

"Initiating urinary stream."

Posted: **Mon Oct 03, 2005 3:14 pm**

Captain Picard, there's a funny looking ship with a light on top of it closing fast.

"Open Hailing Friequencies"

"hello, this is Dominoes Intergalactic Pizza, I have a pepperoni pizza for a Riker.

Posted: **Mon Oct 03, 2005 3:38 pm**

"Scotty. We need warp drive in 30 seconds or we're all dead!"
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
"Scotty?
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
Scotty!"

Posted: **Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:18 pm**

"Sir, the odds of successfully avoiding Ewoks in the forest of Endor are approximately 300,725 to 1!"

"Never tell me the odds!"

Posted: **Tue Oct 04, 2005 2:11 am**

"Admiral Kirk. You have been charged with nine violations of Star Fleet regulations."

"Uh. You can just bite my fat hairy behind. How about that, freak?"

Posted: **Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:47 am**

"Set phasers to urinary discomfort".

Posted: **Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:11 am**

Kirk: so Uhuru come here often?

Posted: **Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:40 am**

"Captain Kirk, this recording will detail my attempt to penetrate the inner chamber of the alien vessel. I have calculated thruster ignition to coincide with the opening of the V'ger orifice...in other words, Captain, I will perform a Vulcan Anal Probe, of a kind that has never been done before."

Posted: **Tue Oct 04, 2005 9:22 am**

Khan: "I have five times your strength. You're no match for me."

Kirk: "I wanna introduce you to a personal friend of mine. This is an M41A pulse rifle. Ten millimeter with over-and-under thirty millimeter pump action grenade launcher."

Posted: **Wed Oct 05, 2005 5:35 am**

"Klingon bastard! You sunk my Battleship!"

Posted: **Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:06 pm**

Captain, Dr. Marcus believes the life form, the Genesis Wave has somehow reaminated the animated Star Trek Cartoon Series

Posted: **Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:41 pm**

"Luke. I am your father."
"Thats not true. Thats impossible."
"Fascinating, a totally parochial attitude."

Posted: **Wed Oct 05, 2005 7:53 pm**

Matrixman wrote:"Klingon bastard! You sunk my Battleship!"

(OMG! I'm crying over this one!)

Posted: **Fri Oct 07, 2005 1:24 am**

Yoda to Obi-Wan:"He is too gay,yes he is too gay to begin the training" (Disclaimer:This is meant as absurdity,I in no way feel that being gay should exclude someone from Jedi training)

Posted: **Fri Oct 07, 2005 3:53 pm**

"Warned you, we tried. Listened, you did not. Now screwed, we will be!"

www.sequentialpictures.com/moviestarwarsepisode3.html

Posted: **Sat Oct 08, 2005 2:02 am**

Dammit Jim, I'm an Actor.
Not an Engineer!

Posted: **Sat Oct 08, 2005 5:13 pm**

Luke: What do you call "Dr. Denton" trapdoors on white body armor?

Han: Storm Poopers!

Posted: **Sat Oct 08, 2005 10:53 pm**

"A Klingon, a Ferengi and the Pope walk into a bar....."

Kevin's Watch

The Ludicrous, Fictitious Star Trek/Star Wars Quote Game