Kevin's Watch

Ala-kabam--you have a new set of tires on your vehicle. Shortly after having them put on, you drive through a new housing development and get several large nails in them. And you didn't buy the roadside protection.

I wish I didn't have to go out later.

You don't have to go out later...because you are in a BODY CAST!!!

I wish all my firewood didn't get wet and pretty much ruined.

Ta Da! Your firewood didn't get wet and pretty much ruined. But, now the wood is too dry and catches fire so easily that it burns down your place.

I wish my son didn't have to read for two hours today.

POOF

Your son no longer has to read for two hours today.
His homework assignment was to read for four hours every day!

I wish I didn't have to get up so early to go to work.

Poof! You don't have to get up so early for work. But you have to stay late. Later than usual.

I wish I could lose 15 lbs without trying.

Okay; which arm would you like me to cut off, left or right?!?!?

Mhuhahahahahahah

I wish Canada would adopt a four day work week.

you are an evil, evil man.

sis boom bah! Canada has adopted a four day work week. But you get less pay.

I wish I felt like exercising (don't want to...don't make me do it!!!!)

Granted!!!

you feel like exercising so much that you can't stop! You've become addicted to exercise, and find yourself building so much muscle that you turn into a body builder, and no one finds you attractive any more.

I wish I didn't have to write that essay that's due Friday.

Ta Da! You don't have to write that essay that's due on Friday. But that means you get a 0 on it and it drops your grade significantly.

I wish I could eat birthday cake tomorrow and not worry about the calories.

Poof! The birthday cake was made with that fake fat -- you get to spend the rest of the weekend in the bathroom with "anal leakage". (Ew. Sorry.)

I wish it was 5:30 already.

lol...well, I had that coming Ali.

Wham bam, ma'am...it's 5:30 already. But traffic is HORRIBLE and you're stuck in a crawling line of slow cars for an hour.

I wish I could raise my rating in word racer

KA-BAM!
Your word racer rating just improved.
Your scoring is now above zero.


I wish that I didn't get termites in my bathroom walls.

With my magic wand, I remove the termites from your bathroom walls....but now you have termites all over your house

I wish it wasn't raining today on my first real vacation day

(FOUF!) Granted.

The trouble is, it is instead a sun of pestilence. Good luck with THAT, Marid.

I wish I were perfectly healthy again.

Wha la! You are perfectly healthy....now get to work on your honey-do list!

I wish TooL would quickly release a new album.

FOUF! Granted.

Unfortunately for you, it is a collection of Pat Boone covers.

I wish my honey-do list was done!

Your honey do list is all done. Unfortunately, the lovely Ms. Gunslinger has volunteered you to help a friend move.

I wish I had Cherry Garcia ice cream.

FOUF! Granted. Too bad for you, it is served in Marlon Brando's underwear.

I wish I'd never agreed to help move my wife's friend.

SHAZAM!

You never did help move your wife's friend.
However, since you refused to help. your wife is furious with your slacking and won't speak to you for two weeks.


I wish I had enough money to pay all my bills this month.

I have the power to grant your wish!!! You have enough money to pay all your bills this month. But that doesn't leave any left over for any fun at all.

I wish I could come up with a great April Fool's prank for Malik.