Kevin's Watch

You know you're a Donaldson fan when you can no longer be introduced to someone named Kevin without you shaking your head and mumbling "How could you...?"

You know you're a Donaldson when everytime you hear about that godawful film 'Ishtar' you think of a certain urvile mentioned in TWL, and can't help feeling a certain warmth toward the film.

.. you suspect your kids are trying to pull the wool over your eyes, and thus simply get out your lomilliar rod (or 'stick', as they ignorantly refer to it) and throw it at them - if they drop it, they're lying.

You teach your kids to throw the seeds of whatever fruit they're eating onto the earth, in hope that a passionfruit tree or somesuch will sprout up somewhere.

You tell your kids that it is 'bootless' to avoid doing their homework.

You warn your kids not to raid the pantry for treats, as it is protected by a 'Forbidding'.

... my kids think I'm an dotard...

also:

Any time you are involved in a confrontational argument with someone, you defiantly declare that you 'match them hate for hate'.

any time you're asked to carve a roast or cut a birthday cake, you angrily attempt to stab the knife into the table in hope that it will start shedding argent light.

You know you're a Donaldson fan when you can't see interestingly-shaped rocks on the ground without thinking, "If only I knew how to do suru-pa-maerl!"

You know you're a Donaldson fan when anytime you use the word 'nominate' (or any of it's variations) you look around to see if there is a plume of dust approaching

..every time you hear or see the word "imperative", it makes you think of the Amnion.

you can debate the relative merits of which of two madmen should wield an object of power that should never really be in human hands.

You compose emails in a sophisticated, artistic and sometimes unwieldy prose creating forms of adjectives never before seen by human eyes.

...when you hear the word "translation", it makes your think of mirrors instead of languages.

When you wish for Captain Crunch with Aliantha berries.

...you wish your automobile had a c-vector shield that would repel all potentially damaging objects away "at right angles to the speed of light".

..you have to remind yourself every time you build a campfire that you don't want to try to give yourself a caamora!

...you have to remind yourself that it is probably not a good idea to figure out which knives you can shave your beard stubbles with.

....you purchase every white gold ring you can in your evil plot to take over the Earth

...you wouldn't feel quite so bad if you contracted leprosy. In fact, you think it might be kinda cool.

When you think of selling a particular poster to the Amnion

...you stand in the woods declaring yourself a Forestal and daring anyone cross into your woods.

....When you laugh to yourself about the prospect of calling Nom.

samrw3 wrote:...you stand in the woods declaring yourself a Forestal and daring anyone cross into your woods.

That is pretty crazy and funny. Very actually.

When you want to create The Land in your backyard