Kevin's Watch

POOF! You know what to pack, and pack it, but at the airport a terrorist switches your bags with his and you spend the rest of your life in isolation at a prison in Alaska- after months of interrogation which includes torture.

I wish I was a rock star.

Poof! Not only are you the most famous rock at the National Museum of Geology, you're set to go on tour to all of the great rock finding places in the Midwest.

I wish I could stop eating fast food.

Presto! You no longer eat fast food, but you eat your food fast resulting in more calories, flatulence, heartburn, choking, and felling full and heavy all the time.

I wish I had all my paperwork done.

With a wave of my magic wand, all your paperwork is done and in your joy, you open a beer to celebrate. Too bad you tripped on the way back to the table, spilling the beer over your completed paperwork.

I wish I could go to the pool with the kids tomorrow instead of work.

*SPLASH!*

You get to go to the pool and not worry about work.

Babysitting everybody else's kids at the pool is work enough for ya.

My wish is for my company to return to the 4-day work week.

*POOF*

Your company returns to the 4 day work week...and in doing so sacrifices enough productivity to post multiple quarterly losses...and you are in the first round layoffs.

I wish my best friend's sister had had the hots for me in high school.

rdhopeca wrote:*POOF*

I wish my best friend's sister had had the hots for me in high school.

*POOF*

You and your best friend's sister go out on a date and have one of the most passion filled evenings you've ever experienced.
But then.....at the end.... just before the "climax" of your evening........you....and......she......well.....um......have you ever seen the movie called "The Crying Game"?



I wish I could make people do things just by wishing that they do it.

Hocus Pocus! Everyone does what you wish them to do, but they cannot stop doing it even with another of your wishes, not even to drink or eat, and they die; unfortunately, you started wishing with family members before you realized this.

I wish I was a professional athlete.

Auleliel wrote: ...
I wish to be more athletic.

Answer:

Ki wrote:With a wave of my magic wand, you are more athletic. But, you are so athletic you badly injured yourself and it is a chronic injury you have to cater to.

Kind of the same.


I wish that I could had thought of a better response.

Poof! You thought of a better response and here it is: Poof! You're a professional baseball player, but on the first pitch of your major league career, the ball hits you in the eye and causes irreparable vision damage which ends your career. Further, the eye surgeon operated on the wrong eye, causing blindness and experimental treatment is not working for your original damaged eye. You sold the Lamborghini you bought with your signing bonus to pay medical bills, but it does appear that you may receive compensation from the malpractice suit.

I wish I was as creative as Harbinger.

well, it takes no magic to make you as creative as Harbinger but I'll pretend for the sake of the thread.

Poof you are as creative as Harbinger, but your creativity leads you down a path in life that you never expected. Like other great minds, your rare ability to see the world in a special way causes you to go insane. The type of insanity that is obvious to anyone around you; so people avoid you.

Better??

I wish I was insane.

I think there was a typo. Did you mean to say you wished you weren't insane?

Presto! You're insane. Like Hemmingway, you are friendly and affable enough, but when you are working on a project you walk around in a daze ignoring the world around you as your brilliant mind works out the project. Your insanity brings you fortune and fame, but the wonderful pharmaceutical industry markets a drug that cures your insanity in one dose, and with your insanity goes your focus and ability and you are relegated to live a normal life like the rest of us. You kinda miss the little voices, too.

I wish I could type faster.

You are cracking me up! LOL!

Ta dah! You can type faster. But just as you come to type faster, voice recognition software becomes standard.

I wish I could have a baby girl.

Poof! You have a baby girl. In fact, you have three of them--triplets, and identical at that! You will never again have a good, full night's sleep as long as you live.

I wish vacations didn't leave me wishing for a vacation.

Your wish comes true.
You will no longer want a vacation... ever!
You will work without time off until you cannot work no more and this cripples you.
And you go insane just like Ki did.
("Hiya Roomie!" )


I wish for a Commonwealth in America.

Spoiler

(This response I HAVE to see!)

Poof! America now has not one, not two but SIX Commonwealths: Virginia, Massachusetts, Kentucky and Pennsylvania, which call themselves Commonwealths even though everybody knows they're states -- *and* Puerto Rico and the Mariana Islands! Boy, you hit the jackpot!

Unfortunately, this jackpot gets you...absolutely nothing. Sorry.

I wish this lovely weather we're currently having (80-ish degrees, low humidity -- and in August in DC, yet!) would stick around until Thanksgiving.

Poof! Lovely weather sticks around until Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving Day there is a huge blizzard that continues until after Christmas, and you are stuck in the same house with all your least favorite relatives for a month.

I wish I had perfect self-control.

Alakazot! You now have perfect self-control! Unfortunately you are an obsessive-compulsive control freak. It takes less than 36 hours of micromanaging your own life to drive yourself insane.

I wish I could take advantage of every e-mail Travelocity sends me, telling me that the price has dropped on one of my saved routes.

POOF
You get great fares from Travelocity and take advantage of your favorite vacation spots.
However, after planning for weeks and finally packed, you get to the airport and discover that all flights are grounded indefinately and hotel reservations are cancelled due to terrorist threats.


I wish I could turn invisible when I want.

Poof! You can turn invisible whenever you want. Unfortunately, you cannot turn visible whenever you want, and are stuck for long periods of time being invisible when you no longer wish to be. This means that you get stepped on, smacked in the face, and otherwise pushed around because nobody can see you and avoid bumping into you. Eventually you decide you no longer wish to become invisible because it's no longer worth all the bumps and bruises.

I wish moving back into the school dorms wasn't so complicated and time-consuming.