Kevin's Watch

Why thank you, Icarus. Most kind.

Spoiler

Poor Latebirth. I shall not proceed to a demonstration, however, lest everyone's ears should bleed. The clueless Jeremiah ought to have a few serious talks about the affairs of love, and in good sooth not about buzzy beelife on a sunny meadow, but the real goings-ons! The luscious Stonemage can perchance gently assist, and I deem it will not inspire complaints.

Now I wonder if Gossamer...well. If Covenant and Linden had stumbled upon them a teensy while earlier in Andelain and not after they had emerged from behind the cover of that tree... Some guardians of the heroes, indeed! Rolling in the bushes for hours on end while supposed to ward the fragile human companions.

Hashi's "rabelaisian" begins to fit better and better...

dlbpharmd wrote:

CerealKiller wrote:Lurker deLurking. I was kind of apathetic to Linden in the Second Chronicles, but I have developed such a frothing hatred of her that I have not been able to finish The Runes of the Earth. I have picked it up several times over the years but usually give up a little more than half way through. Does she get any more palatable in the following books? I may just give up on Ruins and start again at Fatal.
aTOMic, thanks for the bumper sticker in your July 16 post. I have it in my car back window, above my desk at work and use it as part of my avatar on other board.
I humbly request that you please accept mey THOOLAH application.

You had me at "frothing hatred." Welcome to THOOLAH!

I just saw this. Brilliant!

kevinswatch wrote:The THOOLAH thread never ceases to entertain me.

-jay

That's an understatement.

Of course, you did start the whole thing, Jay.

Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Frostheart wrote:Aaaand we have a wiki entry for this cult!
gapintomirrorland.wikia.com/wiki/THOOLAH

Could we please gain a permission to use the official THOOLAH graphics there as well?

Defend the honor of the (somewhat whiny) Sun-Sage!

Ha! Dangerous cult, indeed.

And somewhat whiny? I'd say more than somewhat!

Continuing the obviously massively popular and ongoing trend to diss Linden - THOOLAH! 12 years, 29 pages and still growing! - may I respectfully take this opportunity to poke, prod and generally cajole any KW members interested towards Effy and Frosty's simply excellent SRD wiki which can be found here. All visitors and especially contributors would be welcome, I'm sure.

As a visual enticement as to content to be seen, I offer up the following, which is taken from a sub-section entitled:-

The Many Moods Of Linden Avery



(Awesome art by Frosty of course, hijacked behind her back by malign words from yours truly - I have no shame).

Seriously, you guys crack me up. "Leprosy ..." The thing about Linden's Army contemplating their navels

Spoiler

(but you forgot cutting themselves)

, the Linden's Army posts with the two warrior women, I laughed so hard.

I don't know, I found Linden annoying as hell, but I found Covenant even worse than that (he RAPED someone, or did you forget that?) in the beginning. The point is their possibility for evolvement, for transformation. Since Covenant did so in the first series, I had faith in the second one that Linden eventually would as well.

Frostheart wrote:Furthermore, I've spammed this quote to...how many threads now, and not a single thoolahian has been able to contradict me!

Spoiler

The literal Linden’s Army (for indeed one happens to exist complete with a seasoned warlady) consists of some the bravest, most steadfast characters of the LC’s. Show me a handful of passages where Rime Coldspray whines or studies grass stains on her cataphract, and I acquiesce. Well, Grueburn admitted to moaning oft, but that was a dirty joke shared between her and Latebirth, clearly intended to make fun of Jeremiah’s innocence.

I will boldly speak for all THOOLAHites when I say that our complaint has never been with Linden's literal army; our complaint has always been with LA (her literal army in RL ).

Their support for the Whiney One is literally mind-boggling How a group of such usually intelligent, perspicatious and insightful people have been lured into such benighted fawning almost makes me respect Linden a little!

u.

ussusimiel wrote:
Their support for the Whiney One is literally mind-boggling How a group of such usually intelligent, perspicatious and insightful people have been lured into such benighted fawning almost makes me respect Linden a little!

u.

Not surprised your mind is boggled.
Bogglability is a foundational principle of THOOLAHism
It starts with things like the belief in "whiney-ness" and that "perspicatious" is a word, then devolves.

The soul is IMmortal, so THOOLAH is redeeming nothing.
Perfectly logical since that's what hater's DO.

Aaaah, an LA member wishing to duke it out on matters of spelling and semantics. Well, I'll be your Huckleberry.

The thing is that THOOLAH is a welcoming and inclusive organisation. We do not turn our collective noses up at those unfortunates like u. who fail to spell "perspicacious" properly, or indeed at others who may select the term "whiney-ness" as opposed to "whininess". We at least are really not that anal.

Moving on to your misguided criticism of the phrase "mortal souls", V, that's just your demonstrating a typical Linden's Army rash error of judgement - exacly akin to the far more massive one that you've all made in adoring the persona of the Princess of Procrastination in the first place. Let me explain caringly and hopefully enlighteningly for you:-

The word "mortal" in HLT's perfectly put phrase "mortal souls" is not there in qualitative adjectival usage (though those of a more simplistic and benighted world view might presume that it is). Instead it's being used in possessive adjectival fashion... so "the souls belonging to mortals". I hope that this provides the tiniest modicum of elucidation to the seething morass of ignorance that comprises LA.

Vraith wrote:Perfectly logical since that's what hater's DO.

I am also duty-bound to point out gently that anybody deciding to include such a clunkingly incorrect and frankly offensive apostrophe as lamentably you have above really has forfeited all rights to even begin an attempt to take the grammatical or indeed etymological high ground.

THOOLAH! THOOLAH! THOOLAH! Get thee behind me, anchovy!

Come to consider it, any sane metalhead would join LA. All that gloom and doom and other matters ending in oom bathe in a built-in Moonsorrow-ish deluge of roaring guitars, and merely makes one want to mosh. Obviously thoolahians enjoy only mewly boybands and Justin Bieber.

And her magics manifest themselves in black flames! How very kvlt is that? \m/

Joining LA requires high courage, what with having to defend oneself from the incessant barrage of THOOLAH stinkbombs. Anchovies? We permafrozen Nordics sample such delicatessen as hákarl and lutefisk, not to mention mämmi, which aren't for the faint of heart to begin with. You'll have to attempt something less lame than anchovies as an insult.

Besides, we have voluptuous Giantesses and their hunky male counterparts. You're limited to a single incinerated madman. Buah hah hah hah hah.

LA music! \m/ \m/

All I can say to the above deluded tirade is... PFFFFFT!

It's very clear to those with even half a brain (thus automatically excluding all members of L.A.) that Linden herself, being an endlessly whining and blubbing wuss, listens to sickeningly weepy stuff like "(Can't Live If Living Is) Without You" by Harry Nilsson (who's got a worryingly nordic-kinda name, no? ). She's almost certainly got a full collection of James Blunt CDs as well.. *shudder*. Hence why any Linden's Army get-together sounds like a sorority house schmaltzy weep-a-thon.

I will concede that lutefisk comes damn close to being as repellent as Linden herself. You need a very strong stomach to be able to tolerate the presence of either one. Anyhow, I thought that stuff had been banned by the Geneva Convention?

As I've said before elsewhere, some member of Linden's Army get themselves confused by looking at her allies within the narrative, utterly failing to examine the reasons WHY such characters ally themselves with the Imperatrix of Inaction. Here's a comprehensive list of who and why various personages choose to aid the Sovereign of Self-Loathing:-

Those sympathetic towards Linden (because the pervs just want to get into her grass-stained pants, either consciously or unconsciously).

• * Thomas Covenant
  * Stave

Those sympathetic towards Linden (because they're just gormless wide-eyed fanboys - or girls - that don't know any better).

• * Liand (who actually could have also made the above list... if Pahni hadn't heroically enticed him into a more age-appropriate relationship. That boy didn't know how close he came to a fate far, FAR worse than death.)
  * All real-world members of Linden's Army

Those sympathetic towards Linden (because they're just too kind-hearted and can't bear to see someone blub so much).

• * All the Giants
  * All the Ramen
  * All the Ranyhyn
  * All the ur-viles
  * All the Waynhim

Those sympathetic towards Linden (because they recognize a kindred pathetic spirit).

• * The Feroce

Those sympathetic towards Linden (because they're either catatonic, schizophrenic or just plain batshit mad).

• * Jeremiah
  * Esmer
  * Anele

The opposing list of those who utterly despise and execrate Linden is far too large to reproduce here in any detail. However, this brief summary should suffice:-

Those who would rather gnaw off their own feet than listen to another minute of Linden's incessant whining.

• * All right-thinking sentient people, creatures, beings, deities and other entities.

Finally and most importantly, there is one individual who detests Linden Avery so much that it conclusively and incontrovertibly proves the righteousness of THOOLAH's case once and for all...

Those who loathe Linden far more anyone else does. In fact, far more than it should even be possible to do.

• * Linden Avery herself

We at THOOLAH can hardly disagree with the judgement of the Duchess of Despair herself now, can we?

Something about that last post from TheFallen....
I feel strange and really sleepy.....
Like I've knelt into a beautiful shallow pool of clean water the bottom of which is all glittering gold from hurtloam....
Falling asleep now.....
Be back soon...
....

TheFallen wrote: The word "mortal" in HLT's perfectly put phrase "mortal souls" is not there in qualitative adjectival usage (though those of a more simplistic and benighted world view might presume that it is). Instead it's being used in possessive adjectival fashion... so "the souls belonging to mortals". I hope that this provides the tiniest modicum of elucidation to the seething morass of ignorance that comprises LA.

Not of the slightest use...since it is false.
All of the work of possessing is done by "your." That is its job. Mortal clearly describes the "kind" of soul...though it could be informing one of WHICH soul will be redeemed...the mortal one, the plasticine one, etc. [and it IS only one---soul, not souls.]

Anyway: here's an apostrophe for you---
TF, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so
[except in the senses of "I might make sense once in a while,
and/or "full of dread," perhaps]

Vraith, since u. is coming all the way from the Emerald Isle for 'fest, me thinks you best be there to defend your stance in person.

Menolly wrote:Vraith, since u. is coming all the way from the Emerald Isle for 'fest, me thinks you best be there to defend your stance in person.

A while ago I had hopes...but it ain't gonna happen.

*pout*

I agree with our Gracious Concierge, while freely admitting this is seldom not the case. Vraith, "attempts must be made!" It is vanishingly unlikely that there will be another gathering of Watchers like this Elohimfest. Find a way. You must v there so that u and you can v together in the same place...and it can be proven that you are not alts of each other who have been playing us all this time.

Now, if both of you were pleading that the trip was unaffordable, we could start a contribution campaign to finance your mutual presence. Of course, it would have to be called the

Spoiler

U V Raise...

Everything aTOMiC says in this thread goes double for me.

Frostheart wrote:we have voluptuous Giantesses

This never fails to gain my attention.

THOOLAH JOYKILLER wrote:Everything aTOMiC says in this thread goes double for me.

Ha!

A bit wonky, but have no more energy to put into it.