Kevin's Watch

I feel tired and frustrated. I have had the same fight with Heatherly a million times and I am tired of her empty promises and not following through. As many of you know, the girls and I are moving out of our place, so anyway, Julie had been working with Goodwill to schedule a large item pickup for the last three weeks. We have a couch and oversized armchair, several bookshelves, two dressers and an entertainment center we wanted picked up. Yesterday they were scheduled and had arranged a truck and moving crew to pick up these items. Heatherly was supposed to open the door for them. The window was 8:30 am to 9:00 am. Julie called Heatherly and made sure Heatherly was up and prepared at 8:15. Heatherly failed to hear them ringing the doorbell and blew off the pickup. It was the final straw with Julie. I have been doing all the yelling and lecturing and melting down for the both of us to date. Yesterday I stood aside and Julie took the hot seat. It was very intense and difficult. I think that maybe being told she's a total screwup by Julie will sink it better since I have been telling her that repeatedly for years. It still sucks that not only did she miss the Goodwill pickup but rather than call us and be honest about it, she panicked and tried to "fix" it by calling our landlord and extending our stay WITHOUT consulting either Julie or I. I am also pissed that once again she has treated me(and Julie) with utter disregard and thinks it is going to be ok because we always forgive her. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't be friends with her anymore. I think once FBH is done that Heatherly and I are done as well. It's sad but after 14 years of parenting her and putting my own feelings aside for her I have finally had enough. I don't know....I feel torn up today.

Hey! I'm back. Sort of. I'm staying in NY till next Thursday and the library ladies are giving me an hour at a shot. My Mom died gracefully and peacefully last Wednesday (lung cancer) and though I've tried to be strong for my Dad and sister I totally lost it yesterday-I think I cried so hard I passed out. But I've been hitting the little gym in their apartment building (and hitting the little bar in town) and trying to keep myself from going stir crazy.

I'm staying for a memorial lunch on this coming Wednesday with about 30 of her friends and relatives. I've watched Mrs. Henderson Presents and Depp's (very bleak) The Libertine. I'm also reading a killer book--don't pass out it's non-fiction--called The Golden Spruce that details the history of the Haida people on the Queen Charlotte Islands above Vancover, the history of NW American logging and a modern environmentalist who goes crazy. It's really, really good-think The Loop, The Perfect Storm or Touching the Void.

I think my Dad's given up on paying for his comp-but he's pulling along better than I expected so he may be around for a bit longer. I'll try to get on Friday. I don't know if Miss Elora will recognize me when I get back. Have fun everyone!

My right calf/area above my ankle is sore as a mofo. Still going to jog today but will try to go easy.

The end-semester crush is coming. I'm half-finished with a history report and have two big English reports that I'll need to do over April. I'm sure it'll all be one big blur of "____, I hate typing this boring drool." But usually everything turns out fine, despite any procrastinating and/or fretting.

Speaking of college: the liberal arts department awarded "outstanding students" yesterday, and I got a 500$ scholarship for my "love of learning." Hrmph. I knew eating was a love and video gaming--but learning?! Ah well, as long as it fetches me $$$.

Cameraman Jenn wrote:I feel tired and frustrated. I have had the same fight with Heatherly a million times and I am tired of her empty promises and not following through. As many of you know, the girls and I are moving out of our place, so anyway, Julie had been working with Goodwill to schedule a large item pickup for the last three weeks. We have a couch and oversized armchair, several bookshelves, two dressers and an entertainment center we wanted picked up. Yesterday they were scheduled and had arranged a truck and moving crew to pick up these items. Heatherly was supposed to open the door for them. The window was 8:30 am to 9:00 am. Julie called Heatherly and made sure Heatherly was up and prepared at 8:15. Heatherly failed to hear them ringing the doorbell and blew off the pickup. It was the final straw with Julie. I have been doing all the yelling and lecturing and melting down for the both of us to date. Yesterday I stood aside and Julie took the hot seat. It was very intense and difficult. I think that maybe being told she's a total screwup by Julie will sink it better since I have been telling her that repeatedly for years. It still sucks that not only did she miss the Goodwill pickup but rather than call us and be honest about it, she panicked and tried to "fix" it by calling our landlord and extending our stay WITHOUT consulting either Julie or I. I am also pissed that once again she has treated me(and Julie) with utter disregard and thinks it is going to be ok because we always forgive her. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't be friends with her anymore. I think once FBH is done that Heatherly and I are done as well. It's sad but after 14 years of parenting her and putting my own feelings aside for her I have finally had enough. I don't know....I feel torn up today.

I hope you are feeling better today, Ms. Jenn...it is tough when you see the the probable end of a freindship coming.

danlo wrote:Hey! I'm back. Sort of. I'm staying in NY till next Thursday and the library ladies are giving me an hour at a shot. My Mom died gracefully and peacefully last Wednesday (lung cancer) and though I've tried to be strong for my Dad and sister I totally lost it yesterday-I think I cried so hard I passed out. But I've been hitting the little gym in their apartment building (and hitting the little bar in town) and trying to keep myself from going stir crazy.

I'm staying for a memorial lunch on this coming Wednesday with about 30 of her friends and relatives. I've watched Mrs. Henderson Presents and Depp's (very bleak) The Libertine. I'm also reading a killer book--don't pass out it's non-fiction--called The Golden Spruce that details the history of the Haida people on the Queen Charlotte Islands above Vancover, the history of NW American logging and a modern environmentalist who goes crazy. It's really, really good-think The Loop, The Perfect Storm or Touching the Void.

I think my Dad's given up on paying for his comp-but he's pulling along better than I expected so he may be around for a bit longer. I'll try to get on Friday. I don't know if Miss Elora will recognize me when I get back. Have fun everyone!

Geez man. I am sorry about your Mom...damn sorry. Don't worry 'bout "staying strong"...just be.

Danlo, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You have all the mental hugs I can muster to send your way. (Which is a LOT! I have lots of mental hugs to send!!)

Hey, hang in there Danlo. Try and stay busy. It's the best cure for feeling like shit.

I would send you some mental hugs but I wouldnt want to suffocate you. Waddley really can handle the whole mental hug thing on her own!!

And Jenn...hope things work themselves out.

I'm sorry for your loss, Danlo... we're all with you, so just pop over here if you need to talk.

Jenn, sorry to hear about that... I hope things work out for the best, in the long run.

I'm rather excited today... tomorrow evening I'm flying back home for the Easter holidays, and I have a lot to look forward to, hopefully. Not only will I see a special person again, hopefully moving once and for all past the friendship stage and into something bigger; not only will I see my friends and relatives again after a few months; but I also will have almost two weeks of rest and fun, and as if it weren't enough, a handful of days ago I suddenly had a literary inspiration and realized how to continue the story I began with "Ghostblood" in the Anthology... I can't wait to flesh out the whole story and start writing it

Sorry to hear of your loss Danlo.

Serious Hugs to Danlo.

Ahhh crap Danlo, I'm sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.

Cameraman Jenn wrote:I feel tired and frustrated. I have had the same fight with Heatherly a million times and I am tired of her empty promises and not following through. As many of you know, the girls and I are moving out of our place, so anyway, Julie had been working with Goodwill to schedule a large item pickup for the last three weeks. We have a couch and oversized armchair, several bookshelves, two dressers and an entertainment center we wanted picked up. Yesterday they were scheduled and had arranged a truck and moving crew to pick up these items. Heatherly was supposed to open the door for them. The window was 8:30 am to 9:00 am. Julie called Heatherly and made sure Heatherly was up and prepared at 8:15. Heatherly failed to hear them ringing the doorbell and blew off the pickup. It was the final straw with Julie. I have been doing all the yelling and lecturing and melting down for the both of us to date. Yesterday I stood aside and Julie took the hot seat. It was very intense and difficult. I think that maybe being told she's a total screwup by Julie will sink it better since I have been telling her that repeatedly for years. It still sucks that not only did she miss the Goodwill pickup but rather than call us and be honest about it, she panicked and tried to "fix" it by calling our landlord and extending our stay WITHOUT consulting either Julie or I. I am also pissed that once again she has treated me(and Julie) with utter disregard and thinks it is going to be ok because we always forgive her. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't be friends with her anymore. I think once FBH is done that Heatherly and I are done as well. It's sad but after 14 years of parenting her and putting my own feelings aside for her I have finally had enough. I don't know....I feel torn up today.

One of the hardest things in life is a situation like this. It doesn't matter how much you love someone if they repeatedly treat you poorly and give lameass excuses and lies rather than heart felt apologies. And even if it feels like you are ripping your own heart in two in separating from them - I still honestly feel that you are better off without someone who treats you like shit and does not have the maturity, integrity, or courage to face their own actions and the harm they are doing to others.

Danlo - I came here hoping to hear that you are doing OK. Love you!

This afternoon I'm sitting here feeling like I'm waiting for sentencing! I really don't understand why certain people want me to be honest with them...and then when I am they then leave me dangling. I end up second guessing them, second guessing myself.

BAH! I think I'm going to crank up some loud music and DANCE...gotta find some way to distract myself!

Mega hugs for Danlo and Jenn...sounds like you guys need em big time.


And Seareach...some for you...

And LF...

Ah, hell - EVERYONE on the watch can have hugs...I'm happy and I want everyone else to be as well!


I think I have a new man in my life...had a date with the guy I met at Paddy's Day last night, and ...wah-hey, things are going great - we're making plans for Easter! He said "I knew we'd get on like a house on fire"...and we did! He's a real sweetie (hehe, and 12 years younger than me - NOT phased by age difference at all - he thought I was late 20s!)

yippee!

Elfgirl wrote: I think I have a new man in my life...had a date with the guy I met at Paddy's Day last night, and ...wah-hey, things are going great - we're making plans for Easter! He said "I knew we'd get on like a house on fire"...and we did! He's a real sweetie (hehe, and 12 years younger than me - NOT phased by age difference at all - he thought I was late 20s!)

yippee!

OOOH! Good for you! 12 years younger too! What fun!

WOO HOO!

Hugs back at you Elfie!

Congrats! Have fun!

Take it easy danlo.

Congrats or commisserations to all the rest.

--A

I've taken a particular liking to Pinot Noir recently...especially this bottle!

Seriously though: I'm having a lovely relaxing evening. Nice glass of wine and rain playing rhapsodies on my roof.

Sounds a lot better than what I'm doing right now. (Which admittedly is nothing, but its nothing at work, when I could be doing nothing at home. )

Still, bouldering gym tonight, so that to look forward to.

--A

I went for a long swim which really relaxed me. Very nice.