Kevin's Watch

Congrats, Hyperception!

Heh, the endless possibilities for this contest ended up paralyzing me. I spent far too much time searching for the "perfect" combo (but never got there).

I think we should lobby SRD to get puissargent used in the next book!

Well, I have another 500, so here goes.

This Week's Contest

You've all heard of Jeff Foxworthy's famous list of ways that you can tell if "you might be a redneck". (If you haven't, go google it by all means.)

This week, contestants will describe some ways that you can tell if You Might be a Bloodguard. Each entry will be a sentence like this: If <something>, you might be a Bloodguard.

For example:

• If you haven't farted since the reign of Lord Kevin, you might be a Bloodguard.

The prize will be awarded to the best entry, based on humor, crude humor, ingenuity, and knowledge of the Haruchai lifestyle. As always, the audience can participate by pointing out their favorite entries and so sway the judges in that direction.

If you haven't gotten laid in 2000 years......you might be a Bloodguard.

QED? No, I don't want to stop the contest, but damn, that's a good start yet again.

Yeah that's tough to top right out of the gate.

If you've developed a sudden empathy for Tom Hanks in Splash...you might be a Bloodguard.

If your idea of a devastating comeback is a single raised eyebrow...you might be a Bloodguard.

If you've taken out your 2000-year-old-sexual-frustration by kicking the crap out of a wedge of ur-viles, a line of cavewights, a host of kresh, and you've taken the odd running kick at a giant-raver wielding Stonemight...you might be a Bloodguard!

If your favorite nighttime companion is a horse...you might be a Bloodguard.

aliantha wrote:If your idea of a devastating comeback is a single raised eyebrow...you might be a Bloodguard.

Love it, ali!

If Ramen are always sticking "Kick me, I'm a horse beater" signs on your back when you look away, you might be a Bloodguard.

DLB and Ali are already setting a high standard. Kudos to both!

Ah Rob, the Haruchai fell for the mermaids. That took me awhile, so maybe bonus points, in my mind anyway, for difficulty.

matrixman's is good, just for the picture of Ramen making such signs and pinning them on their backs.

If you can't think of any answers to any of wayfriend's games, then you might be a Bloodguard.

Cybrweez wrote:If you can't think of any answers to any of wayfriend's games, then you might be a Bloodguard.

"We do not trust this game."

matrixman wrote:

Cybrweez wrote:If you can't think of any answers to any of wayfriend's games, then you might be a Bloodguard.

"We do not trust this game."

If your contest submission is a laconic non-response, you might be a Bloodguard.

Savor Dam wrote:If your contest submission is a laconic non-response, you might be a Bloodguard.

Hit the nail on the head there - you are a Bloodguard!

If you just can't fall asleep at night, you might be a Bloodguard.

If you have been brutally killed in a Stephen R. Donaldson book, especially if your spine was snapped, you might be a Bloodguard. Or have been.

(This is turning out delightedly well. :rubs hands together: )