Kevin's Watch

I'm Murrin wrote:I am in London! I've wandered around the LonCon3 halls a bit, been to one panel, and just got back from seeing Book of Mormon in Leicester Square. Blog post coming soon, but it won't really say much more.

Have fun!

Sorus wrote:I still see two; the second one was edited to form the apology for not being able to delete it. Nah, I just need to remember not to hit reload if I get a server error.

I don't. Is your browser maybe caching the page with 2? Try a hard refresh?

--A

got a shot for my right shoulder today. might be arthritis - getting it x rayed next week. getting shots in my back on the 25th, have to decide if I want to miss 2 or 3 days at work.

Second day of Worldcon went well. I'm blogging about my activities daily, as promised.

Well, I am done. Won't have time for any more Worldcon stuff tomorrow, so this con ended for me with the Hugo Awards ceremony. Tomorrow I take the long trip home.

I'm Murrin wrote:Well, I am done. Won't have time for any more Worldcon stuff tomorrow, so this con ended for me with the Hugo Awards ceremony. Tomorrow I take the long trip home.

Murrin, I read your blog post where you talk about your isolation in a crowd and, if I may ask, what makes it so difficult for you to be able to speak with people? Are you very shy? If so, why? You seem nice to me.

One of my sort of hobbies is to talk with random people (mostly male random people, a friend once pointed out!). I love going to talk with people I don't know. I almost always talk about them and people mostly love to talk about themselves. You also find very interesting conversations as you go. Some people really surprise you by not being what you expect from how they appear and you can have some very memorable brief and even sometimes deep and personal encounters. I find this text based conversation much more difficult than face to face conversation, actually. All the body language, social mirroring, smiles, eye contact, tiny cues and so are just missing. It is frustrating!

Hitting the blog now.

Like Ananda, I enjoy talking to random people. Not really about themselves, but about whatever is going on around us. I might pass a remark to somebody standing in line with me, for example, commenting on some bit of human drama we're witnessing or whatever.

I find treating people as if I already know them works well for both of us. Or sometimes I will pass a random compliment on some item of clothing or jewellery or whatever (if I like it), just because...well...I can.

--A

Way to go, Iolanthe!!!!!!!! You added years and quality to your life.

Took myself off line for a week to regain my footing and to do some writing. I am making some good progress and feel a tiny bit optimistic. I've also been trying to get back on a decent diet. I had a huge weight LOSS after New Mexico. 17 lbs in something like two weeks. but have stabilized now.

My face has pretty much healed from the medical work and most of the pain is gone. Still have black rings under my eyes but easily covered with makeup.

So things are ok.

17 lbs in two weeks is a lot, lorin. Glad you're feeling better now.

Come and tell us in GenLit about your work in progress.

lorin wrote:Way to go, Iolanthe!!!!!!!! You added years and quality to your life.

Took myself off line for a week to regain my footing and to do some writing. I am making some good progress and feel a tiny bit optimistic. I've also been trying to get back on a decent diet. I had a huge weight LOSS after New Mexico. 17 lbs in something like two weeks. but have stabilized now.

My face has pretty much healed from the medical work and most of the pain is gone. Still have black rings under my eyes but easily covered with makeup.

So things are ok.

Thanks, Lorin. You had the privilege of witnessing the effects of my long term addiction so you know how good this makes me feel. Two weeks now almost since I had a roll up.

So glad too that you are recovered (almost) and have lost weight. I have stabilized at around 10 stone (140 pounds). Getting fed up now with baggy trousers!

I am home once again.

Ananda, I'm fine talking to people, it's just the initial approaching and starting a conversation I can't do. It's intimidating and just feels wrong to go up to someone I don't know and start talking to them, unless I have a concrete reason to.

I'm Murrin wrote:I am home once again.

Ananda, I'm fine talking to people, it's just the initial approaching and starting a conversation I can't do. It's intimidating and just feels wrong to go up to someone I don't know and start talking to them, unless I have a concrete reason to.

Unsolicited advice, but the 'fake it till you make it' method works very well. You can tell yourself you have a concrete reason as simple as you just feel like having someone to talk with and so just go ahead and do it. If you do it enough, you will be doing it without it feeling forced. Thus, fake it till you make it. If you decide to try it, maybe use the method that Av mentioned: compliment something. I use that method, too. People like getting compliments and it is pretty easy to look at someone and find something you can feel honest in complimenting them on. Could be as simple as I like your shoes (most women will like this one, by the way ) or earrings or scarf. Since you don't know these people, it is fine if you fail at engaging sometimes as you will never see them again.

I once was lost coming home from an appointment at the hospital. I had gotten a ride there and the bridge was closed for the only way across the river that I knew for getting back. I ended up wander around a neighbourhood that had twisting streets for a while. Doing that, I met a guy and asked for directions, and decided to mention about his walking sticks (like ski poles, but for walking) just to chat. He talked about them for a minute or two and somehow he got on a tangent about 9/11 and he spent the next 20 minutes or so telling me about how it was an inside job and all this stuff and his thoughts about many things. This is a middle aged man, well dressed, nice shoes, smooth hands, nicely done hair, etc. in the middle of a well off neighbourhood and he just went on and on! I was amazed how he felt he should just tell me all about his theories! I really don't know why he did, but it was really strangely intimate in a way. His manner was as if he were confiding in me and this was not something he normally talked about. Was really a fun conversation and we both went on our way satisfied from the connection. So, you never know what you will find when you engage someone.

lorin wrote:
My face has pretty much healed from the medical work and most of the pain is gone. Still have black rings under my eyes but easily covered with makeup.

So things are ok.

Good.

I'm Murrin wrote:...feels wrong to go up to someone I don't know and start talking to them, unless I have a concrete reason to.

Give yourself a reason. Decide to tell them you like their shirt, or ask them what they're reading (if they're reading/carrying a book obviously).

It doesn't have to go anywhere or be for anything. Just practice.

--A

I'm Murrin wrote:I'm fine talking to people, it's just the initial approaching and starting a conversation I can't do. It's intimidating and just feels wrong to go up to someone I don't know and start talking to them, unless I have a concrete reason to.

Same with me. Impossible to start a conversation with someone I don't know.

Thank god I got married. Now I don't have to worry about talking to anyone else anymore.

-jay

Ayup All...

I'm terrible. It's shutting me up that's the problem. I just LOVE talking to folks and just doing that. It's so much fun. Better than humming-and-aahhing in isolation. One often finds that that someone has been wanting to do that too but couldn't muster the courage. It's all the years of standing behind a table of models and wanting to chew the fat ! The whole world should just 'start talking' and then maybe we'd see that we aren't all so different after all.

Some people are asking where I am...just on a long breathing break, with infreq. Internets (save for today), now solopacking somewhere in Tyrol. So, yes, haven't been well for the past month, and only after boarding the plane began thinking that someone else in my socks might have canceled the whole endeavor. I may lack common sense, but so do all giants. Have stretched my legs on plain ground, but today did something of a stunt...ended up hiking along a grade A difficulty path on a lonely mountainside, often little more than a sheeptrack that required scrambling and great care. Got caught in rain-fog three times (rule #1: you stop if visibility is two meters), got entirely wet (not like that you pervs), and just...very muddy. So none of that 'women not using makeup have poor confidence' now. But I did give up at the other side of a valley after the track became a sheer mudslide.

I'm recovering, even if I do get winded easily and have to keep frequent breaks. Met sheep and mountain-cows and their crap in great quantities. Colorful flowers grew along the path. Very peaceful, a great experience. Seeing Ötzi the Iceman tomorrow.

Glad to hear you're doing better, Frosty. Give my regards to Ötzi.

What Ali said.

feanor wrote:I just LOVE talking to folks and just doing that. It's so much fun.

You couldn't tell it by your posts Feanor. 51 posts in 3 years? What you need is to talk more.

We're waiting...

--A