Kevin's Watch

Posted: **Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:34 pm**

CovenantJr wrote:
lorin wrote:ok will someone tell me if I'm crazy or not (now at least wait till I explain before you agree I'm nuts)

So I went to Barnes and Noble on Friday. I go there a lot to do my writing. So I sit down and this guy starts talking to me. OMG we had so much in common. Anyway, we end up talking for 6, yes I said 6 hours. We talked about everything from match.com to eastern religions to SRD to role playing games to my mortgage to my writing. 6 hours! and we werent even sitting at the same table. So B&N is closing. I am sure we have a connection. we are packing up and we start walking toward the exit. I say something like "are you leaving?" implying lets walk out together.

He says No, he has some shopping to do. Says bye and walks away. Ok so what happened? Maybe it's wrong of me to assume that just because a single guy talks to me for 6 hours that he might be attracted. Am I off base?
He probably walked away thinking "Ah crap, I made a real mess of that." Many of us don't really know what we're doing with women. I think talking to a stranger for six hours definitely implies a connection/attraction, but that doesn't necessarily mean he knows how to handle it.

Try wearing some different shoes for a minute:

He meets a woman at the book shop, they talk for six hours and seem to really hit it off. As they get up to leave, she seems to want to walk out together, but he has some shopping he really has to get done. He says so, she accepts it, he doesn't know what else to do so he walks away. He spends the rest of his time in the shop thinking "Damn it, should I have done something differently? I couldn't just ask her to tag along while I shop. I could have walked out with her but I need to buy this stuff. Damn damn damn."

At least, that's the way it looks to me. Well, either that or he's married.

This had me rolling!!!!!!!!!! He probably is married. Married men are a whole independent phenonemena.

Seareach wrote:<singing>
Oh what a beautiful morning,
Oh what a beautiful day,
I've got a wonderful feeling,
Everything's going my way.

Listen, Sea, you just gotta cheer up ....

Glad you are feeling so excellent.. ( send me some)

Posted: **Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:25 pm**

yeah I suggest a "same time same table next week" approach and see if he returns. then take it from there, maybe offer to go shopping with him

Posted: **Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:30 pm**

lorin wrote:ok will someone tell me if I'm crazy or not (now at least wait till I explain before you agree I'm nuts)

So I went to Barnes and Noble on Friday. I go there a lot to do my writing. So I sit down and this guy starts talking to me. OMG we had so much in common. Anyway, we end up talking for 6, yes I said 6 hours. We talked about everything from match.com to eastern religions to SRD to role playing games to my mortgage to my writing. 6 hours! and we werent even sitting at the same table. So B&N is closing. I am sure we have a connection. we are packing up and we start walking toward the exit. I say something like "are you leaving?" implying lets walk out together.

He says No, he has some shopping to do. Says bye and walks away. Ok so what happened? Maybe it's wrong of me to assume that just because a single guy talks to me for 6 hours that he might be attracted. Am I off base?

Post a "missed connections" on cragislist with as many details as possible, and maybe if he doesn't see it someone he knows will.

OR do this: abcnews.go.com/Technology/WaterCooler/story?id=3828525&page=1 it's worked at least once.

Or maybe he's a regular and one of the B&N employees might know who he is? (If it makes you feel weird to ask about him maybe say that he dropped something and you want to return it to him? Or something equally cheesy. It's ok to lie in the name of romance, right?

)

I think that when it comes to dating, it's up to the ladies to make it happen. I wouldn't have dated half the guys I have if I didn't take initiative and put it out there myself. A lot of (most?) guys are either to shy, intimidated or clueless to ask a girl for her number, or out to coffee or whatever. (Some male watcher is going to give me crap for this, but I say it with love!)

Posted: **Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:43 pm**

Waddley wrote:I think that when it comes to dating, it's up to the ladies to make it happen. I wouldn't have dated half the guys I have if I didn't take initiative and put it out there myself. A lot of (most?) guys are either to shy, intimidated or clueless to ask a girl for her number, or out to coffee or whatever. (Some male watcher is going to give me crap for this, but I say it with love!)

Bingo!

PS. Good luck Lorin, I hope it works out.

Posted: **Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:05 am**

Waddley wrote:A lot of (most?) guys are either to shy, intimidated or clueless to ask a girl for her number, or out to coffee or whatever.

Absolutely. There's no school for asking girls out. We haven't got a clue, and most of us have received enough variations on "hell no" to be reluctant to take the risk unless we're certain of the answer. At least, that's how it is for me, and I know I'm not alone.

Plus, a lot of men will be flattered and/or relieved to not be the one making the first move. It gets old.

Posted: **Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:14 am**

I can't really add anything--everyone else has good advise/comments. But, heh: I'm thinking if it was meant to be you'll see him again.

Coz I'm that kinda gal and speaking from experience...meant to be things *do* happen.

Posted: **Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:42 am**

Lorin, I could post about three pages here based on my own male idiocy alone but suffice to say that the preceeding comments from all the other fine KWers who posted are really good advice (especially the "same time same place and see how it goes" idea). Good luck to you. You deserve it!

Posted: **Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:46 pm**

I've worked at three different Barnes and Nobles, and some of them have little corkboards back by the bathrooms. If your local does, then maybe put a note on the board and see if something happens. Either that or hang around the same time as before and see if he shows up.

But yeah....men are dumb.

Posted: **Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:08 am**

I think I've broken the internet. Can't seem to get access to half the pages I usually access. <grumble>

Other than that: the rain is falling, but all is wonderful in the world...well...most things...ok... some things....

Posted: **Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:17 am**

Dana Perino's on Fox News, lookin' mighty fine! So I'm damn good.

Posted: **Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:40 pm**

I'm sitting out here on the upper deck in the pre-dawn, the sky is beginning to pale and there isn't a breath of wind. The forest around me is quiet, except for the occasional bird, the whole house is asleep, and I'm thinking...even tho life, as I know it, has so damn hard lately, I am still finding such joy just being alive. What a beautiful morning.

Posted: **Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:04 pm**

Furls Fire wrote:I'm sitting out here on the upper deck in the pre-dawn, the sky is beginning to pale and there isn't a breath of wind. The forest around me is quiet, except for the occasional bird, the whole house is asleep, and I'm thinking...even tho life, as I know it, has so damn hard lately, I am still finding such joy just being alive. What a beautiful morning.

Sounds great! Up late? Or up early?

Posted: **Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:10 pm**

Well, let's see...I've been up since about 7pm last night. Kinda, sorta. It really is hard to say...

The days and nights run into each other. I sleep when I can.

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:47 am**

Sounds wonderful, Furls! Sorry you're getting so little sleep though. Hopefully you got a good night's sleep tonight.

As for me: Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not!Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Bad Sea!

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2009 11:12 am**

Seareach wrote: As for me: Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not!Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Bad Sea!

Sea is definitely happy! Is Sea in love? Or something else?

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:38 pm**

I'm not much help in this department. I have my own issues with the "must not's" in life.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down. Woody Allen

Posted: **Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:46 pm**

Seareach wrote: As for me: Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not!Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Bad Sea!

But you did...

Posted: **Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:02 am**

Seareach wrote: As for me: Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not!Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Sea must not! Bad Sea!

StevieG wrote:Sea is definitely happy! Is Sea in love? Or something else?

I'm always in love!

Cagliostro wrote:But you did...

...maybe...kinda...probably

Posted: **Fri Jul 31, 2009 5:08 pm**

*sigh* Ah...friday.

--A

Posted: **Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:17 pm**

Yes, friday, and my weekend off Hooray.

Off to the home of golf tomorrow, for a round at St Andrews. Might be a bit damp after the rain overnight (torrential), but looking forward to it. Going with 5 workmates, 3 of us golfing, and then out for a beer/whisky or 10 afterwards.

Might be my last "jolly" for a while as my wife is being made redundant in a couple of weeks - but even that has an upside - no more childcare fees and she'll be there to drop off and pick up our son who starts school in August, and also look after our (soon to be 4 years old) daughter.

Good luck to everyone else looking for gainful employment in these lean times.

Kevin's Watch

How do you feel today?