Kevin's Watch

NASA-Boom!! You can magically explore other planets. Unfortunately there are no return space-fares, and you get stuck on an exceedingly dreary planet with nothing to do - oh, and you forgot your lunch.

I wish I could time travel.

Your wish is granted, but you have a time machine that works like Groundhog Day and that day is repeated over and over...forever!

I wish I had some days off work right now...

BOOM BABY! You got all the days off of work you want, because you're looped in with StevieG, and it's Sunday...

I wish for a fried dough with powdered sugar.

You didn't specify what type of dough, so we're going with whole wheat bread dough. With powdered sugar.

I wish it would rain here.

It IS raining there...
for the next 40 days and 40 nights!
Hope you are a good boat builder.

I wish I can get a good massage right now.

You receive an excellent massage. Unfortunately the masseuse turns out to be a robot and the massage parlor is raided by the FBI, and the entire debacle is plastered across the headlines of every tabloid.

I wish tomorrow wasn't Monday.

>poof<

you wake up, run outside and find yourself in the zombie apocalypse - you overslept by two years - but at least it is tuesday

I wish comic books were all free

Comic books are all free! Your favorite artists are forced to get jobs that pay, and therefore have no time to draw.

I wish I won the lottery.

you win the lottery on the day the us government announces a 130% tak on lottery earnings. you now owe uncle sam money.

I wish I had a fluffernutter.

Wish Granter Error: 'Fluffernutter' not found. Retry? Closest match found: Squirrel. Squirrel granted.

I wish I had a teleporter.

A teleporter has been granted.
The corrupted part is that it only works on a blue moon and teleports at a maximum distance of 2 feet every 36 hours.

I wish I had some very good marijuana that the cops don't know about.

You have some excellent marijuana the cops know nothing about, but that annoying teenaged boy who lives next door knows all about it.


I wish for peppermint-stick ice cream in a waffle cone.

That's easy enough. We'll take some ice cream, add some peppermint, add some sticks, put it all in a waffle cone - and there ya go. Might want to watch out for splinters.

I wish I had a pet wombat.

It has rabies!

I wish I was a talented musician.

You die of a [strike]drug overdose[/strike] [strike]an obsessed fan/serial killer[/strike] (dang, what's not too real-lfe?) (oh, I know) rabies!!! (from Sorus's wombat)

I wish I could tour the universe and see all the galaxies 'n cool stuff.

There's something on the ship with you. You can hear little claws clicking through the ventilation ducts. Sometimes you catch movement out of the corner of your eye, but it's always gone when you turn. Maybe it's something alien. Maybe it's a colony of rabid wombats. Whatever it is, it's impossible to relax and enjoy the view.

I wish I could become fluent in a foreign language without practicing.

POOF

You are now fluid in Ancient Latin.
(who speaks Latin now anyway?)
Now NOBODY can understand you because you find it very hard to speak any other language,
even your native tounge.

I wish I was living in Paradise.

*ZOT* You're living in Paradise.... Paradise, Nebraska. Where you are working as an artificial inseminator of brood sows.


I wish fI was 20 again, but knew what I know now.

deer of the dawn wrote:I wish fI was 20 again, but knew what I know now.

*POOF*

You go back in time, and are twenty again, and know what you knew now ...

You shortly lose all your 20ish friends for being an insufferable know-it-all stick-in-the-mud, you dress so sensibly that no one wants to meet you, all the men you you used to find fascinating all seem like big jerks now, and all the women seem like catty brats. You end up being put into a secret prison because you seemed to know way to much about 9/11 before it happened.

I wish I could have lunch with Stephen R. Donaldson.

ZING!! You have lunch with Stephen R. Donaldson, who spends the entire time on his cellphone, speaking Hindi. And the food is not that good.

I wish that they would fix the roads in Jos.