Kevin's Watch

The Chicken crossed the road to alert the world that Paul was dead.

Imagine there's no chickens
Its easy if you try
No pants on Loremaster
Around his ankles
Like a dropped pie...

[img] www.jokes.org.au/userimages/user756_1156127401.jpg

Vain: The road will be down for a while, but in a few days chickens can cross it again. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Zeph: You chickens only cross the road in cliques. [cue banning]

Skyweir: ah...yes...the classic 'chicken crosses the road' joke!! 'tis one of my favorites...

Great ones! The Vain one made me snort, Lord Mhoram. Nice poetry Guns! I'm still a little hurt that nobody commented on my Cail/Guns chicken post.

As a frequenter of the Tank, Jenn, I definitely appreciated it.

Thanks Mhoram, I have dipped my toe in the tank but it's a fierce place. You guys are WAY too smart for your own good.

I prefer to GET tanked than go IN the tank...

I know Elfie, the tank is like the WWF of literary and political discussion.

Word to the shy, don't go in the tank if you don't wanna get spanked.

Cameraman Jenn wrote:Word to the shy, don't go in the tank if you don't wanna get spanked.

Which is why you frequent it so often.

Loremaster wrote:

Cameraman Jenn wrote:Well, if the chicken snuck up behind you and pulled them down and then took off running across the street they would have been in contact.....

I disagree most vehemently. At the risk of this thread being moved to the 'Tank, allow me my opinion.

Given that a chicken is no more than 30cm in size, and given that the chicken's ratio of mass to wingspan will not allow it to become airborne, I seriously doubt the chicken could pull Cov Jr's pants down. Not unless Cov Jr's pants were already down at a height the chicken could reach with its beak. Even then, we would have to factor in the chicken's motivation for doing so. What evolutionary factors would have produced such behaviour in a chicken? None, I say. There is no shred of evidence that a chicken would have the biological urge to pull pants down (nor has it ever been reported, except in the Langley vs. Farmer Uoquin 1965 case).

Say the chicken did pull his pants down. It would have to be at the height of Cov Jr's pants (an estimate places this at around 90cm). But how did it get at this height? If it was placed there that rules out chicken motivation - as it was obviously forced. Therefore, the chicken did not 'derobe' Cov of his pants - someone else did: REMOVAL OF PANTS VIA PROXY. As Judge Curtis (1878) stated: Chickens cannot be ruled to remove pants via proxy, and all culpability must rest with said party who placed chicken at the height to remove pants.I rest my case.

Great stuff!

Just to put this issue to rest once and for all: the chicken used a ramp and a run-up to jump to the height of my pants.

Lord Mhoram wrote:Skyweir: ah...yes...the classic 'chicken crosses the road' joke!! 'tis one of my favorites...

That's so Skyweir it's frightening.

CovenantJr wrote:Just to put this issue to rest once and for all: the chicken used a ramp and a run-up to jump to the height of my pants.

My apologies; I forgot to consider this element.

Sen. Wolf Birden (S - Arizona):
You know, along comes this chicken, I mean, you got the first mainstream chicken who is arcluckulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking bird," Biden said. "He wants to cross the road. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

Cluck O'Fowl (P- Illinois)
Later on Wednesday, O'Fowl, in a pecked statement, said "I didn't take Sen. Birden's comments personally, but obviously they were historically inaccurate. Chicken presidential candidates like "Cocky" smith, Shirley Cheepsolm, Cockadoodle 'Doo' Blesseley and Rooster Bluntbeak gave a squalk to many important issues, including crossing the road, through their campaigns and no one would call them inarcluckulate ."

Wolf Biden, later in a press conference:

"Cluck O'Fowl is probably the most exciting candidate that the Poultry or Saunders Party has produced at least since I've been around," Birden said on the call. "And he's fresh. He's new. He's smart. He's insightful. And I really regret that some have taken totally out of context my use of the world 'clean.'"

My mother used to comment "Clean as a whistle, smooth as an egg". Birden explained. But most of the controversy is that clean is used in a negative sense, as in "all feathers removed" , a frequent practice in 19th century henhouses when when workers prepared chickens to be slaughtered. To many poultry-kind, it connotates a bird's shameful defeat in political debate or moral ineptitude.

"He was very gracious and I have no problem with Wolf Birden," O'Fowl later added.

Cameraman Jenn wrote:CAIL: When the chicken crossed the road it was justified by the intelligence it had at the time when it crossed the road. Just because the information was found to be false does not mean the chicken can just arbitrarily cross back over. There were ramifications to the chicken's crossing and now there are problems which must be solved. Unfortunately, neither the rebublican chickens nor the democrat chickens have clearly outlined an effective exit strategy.

GUNSLINGER: True, neither side has a viable exit strategy but I don't think the republican chickens are solving anything by sending another 12,000 chickens over there. It is not a viable solution nor clear exit strategy either. Also, the justifications that got us over there in the first place are not the same reasons that the Sanders Administration is ramming down our throats at this moment.

I had not seen this...I didn't go back far enough, my dear!!!

However, may I also point out that the use of 11 herbs and spices as a means by which to cover up the failure of the Sanders team of sucessfully allowing the chickens safe passage only serves to advance the sense of moral penury on behalf of the Colonel.

Cameraman Jenn wrote:
Marvin, love the new title!

And may it stand forever, as a monument to your weird and wonderful brain.

AH HA!!! So CovJr DID get pantsed by the chicken. SWEET!

Marvin, I think that's the coolest thing anyone has ever said to me.

I feel for this poor chicken, it obviously has issues.

Prebe: It's a sad commentary on our social situation when we find the need to endlessly discuss the motivation of chickens. Perhaps we should focus on the issue at hand. What are the political ramifications of this crossing? How will it affect society as a whole?

Ouch!

Hmmm... how about:

AXEBREWDER: I wanted the chicken to cross the road so bad I could already taste the asphault. "You're pants are down", I blurted out. I can always pour on the famous Axbrewder charm, can't I? I had nothing left to lose at this point, so I collapsed on the road. My guts felt like someone had posted them in the Tank for a week. I had to get up. Get up, Mick! No one calls me Mick. Ever. So I kicked myself. I must have looked as graceful as a one-legged chicken on hot blacktop. Suddenly, my old intuition started working again. I knew the answer. But Ginny was gone, she was never coming back. I didn't need the answer any more. What I needed was a job, and a drink, not necessarilly in that order. So I did the only thing I could think of. I cleaned my apartment.

That was great!!!!

Excellent!