Kevin's Watch

Relentless

The story of two girls who relentlessly tease a boy about his smock.

SCAR WARTS

The story of a boy, a 7 foot yeti and two Robo-sapiens out to save the galaxy from papillomavirus.

This ain't love, Bud.
(Suspense)

The romantic story of a prostitute and her clients.
One "john", falls in love with the girl and she keeps trying to convince him
that it's lust, not love, that drives him to keep returning into her arms.
Eventually, he catches her with another man and all Hell breaks loose.

Rated TTTTOAB
(Too Tired To Think Of Anything Better)

Usivius and the Sudoku Caper

The story of a watcher who steals the entire world's sudoku puzzles and hoards them all to himself.

Viagra! - the Musical

A down on his luck older gentlemen invents a drug that shows him how to make a hard time good. The trials and tribulations start to become something of a Jeckyll/Hyde rip-off.

Caution: There is a potential for cardiac risk for those watching Viagra! - The Musical for those with preexisting cardiovascular disease. Viagra! - The Musical has systemic vasodilatory properties that resulted in transient decreases in supine blood pressure in healthy viewers. While this normally would be expected to be of little consequence in most viewers, physicians should carefully consider whether their patients with underlying cardiovascular disease could be affected adversely by such vasodilatory effects, especially in combination with this production.

There is no controlled clinical data on the safety or efficacy of Viagra! - the Musical in the following groups; if viewed, this should be done with caution.

* Patients who have suffered a myocardial infarction, stroke, or life-threatening arrhythmia within the last 6 months;
* Patients with resting hypotension (BP <90/50) or hypertension (BP >170/110);
* Patients with cardiac failure or coronary artery disease causing unstable angina;
* Patients with retinitis pigmentosa (a minority of these patients have genetic disorders of retinal phosphodiesterases).

Please see a physician before viewing this production.

Thank you.

WHO?... WHAT?

The life and times of Vinnie Barbarino.

No further description needed since nobody will go and see this show except John Travolta.

Rated MK
on the Mr. Kotter rating system

X-Treme Monkey Sports

A documentary on X-treme sports with monkeys. The monkey drink Mountain Dew, do tricks and occasionally go nuts and hit and bite someone.

Should have been shown on one of the sports channels, but moved to the big theater because the execs said, "People just love movies with monkeys!"

Yellow Bellied Bastards.

The tale of the cowardliest gunlsinger in the west. Total runtime: 16 mins.

ZONE BEYOND THE MOON

A boring adventure that explores the empty space between the dark side of the moon and the nearly endless interplanetary void. Running time 3hrs 31 minutes.
"Frequently compared to the last half hour of the A.I."

Rated B for Bring a Pillow.

ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL

A documentary about the building of the Great Wall Of China.
Running time = 17 minutes

Rated NC-17

Spoiler

(Nobody Cares for the 17 min. running time)

Babe: A Pig On The Moon

Everybody's favorite pig accidentally stumbles onto the space shuttle, and is launched into space. Marvel as he herds aliens. Don't walk out too early or you will miss what will soon be on the lips of everyone: the Re-entry Scene.

Cagliostro wrote:Babe: A Pig On The Moon

Everybody's favorite pig accidentally stumbles onto the space shuttle, and is launched into space. Marvel as he herds aliens. Don't walk out too early or you will miss what will soon be on the lips of everyone: the Re-entry Scene.

Do I smell bacon?


CRUST IN THE WIND

A heart wrenching tale of a man, his apple pie and a killer tornado.

You will be blown away.

aTOMiC wrote: Do I smell bacon?

And Bingo was his name-oh.


Death of a Salesfrog

Muppet remake of Death of a Salesman. Funny and poignant.

Empire of the Dumb

A genius kid gets separated from her parents, ends up in a Californian academy for models, makes incendiary devices from cans of hairspray and eyelash curlers and eventually destroys the bimbettes who would take over the world.

Rated: ATNB (all tits no brains)

Freshmaker - The Mentos Movie

Commercials take a stronger stance by moving to center stage in the movies with the Mentos Movie. The movie really has very little to do with Mentos, other than characters occasionally hold them up and smile, whether in amusement or defiance. This movie will start the new wave of naming movies after products, much like what is going on with sports arenas.

Rated KM (Kill Me)

Great Googly Moogly

The semi autobiographical story of Ashton Moogly founder of the T.C.A. (Toilet Cleaners of America) union. Included the famous scene where Ashton holds up a urinal cake in definance of the fat cat shop forman's opinion that all sanitation workers are stinky.

Rated P.U. ...you know why.

Hairy Pothead and the Chamber of Cigarettes

Dreadheaded surfy Hairy Pothead returns after his fabulously successful debut in "The Philanderer's Stoned" - his second spinout has him discover a hidden smoking room at Fogsnorts School.

Rated:....uh...whatever...just pass the roach, dude.

Iron Fan - The tepid story of an obsessed Iron Man fan who builds his own suit of armor out of used Capri Sun packets. Hilarity ensues when our misguided protagonist finds that his new costume can in no way stop a bullet of even the smallest caliber.

Rated "S" for sad.

"James and the Giant Leech"

A horror sequel to the claymation....well, can't say classic, as I think the book was much more popular than the movie ever was. Anyway, you know what I'm saying.

King of Dandelions - A touching tale of a simple minded hulk who tries to build a fortune by sneaking into high rise office buildings and painting the windows over with murals of blue skies and fluffy clouds.

Rated T for tragic and boring.