Kevin's Watch

Wish granted. You know how to quit me. Unfortunately it involves getting multiple tire irons in the face and having your death labeled as a bizzare tire-hubcap explosion incident.

I wish vampires were real, but felt no need to kill me or drink my blood.

Alynna Lis Eachann wrote:Wish granted. You know how to quit me. Unfortunately it involves getting multiple tire irons in the face and having your death labeled as a bizzare tire-hubcap explosion incident.

I wish vampires were real, but felt no need to kill me or drink my blood.

*arcane gestures and Creator power!!*

Vampires are real and don't NEED to kill you or drink your blood. BUT, they find you tasty so they WANT too!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!


I wish I were Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Immortal!!!

Creator wrote:

I wish I were Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Immortal!!!

*POOF*

Wish granted but since you already are Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Immortal this wish causes a universal inversion that destroys reality, yourself included.
The new universe born from this cataclysm is inhabited solely by Teletubbies.


I wish the Earth was as healthy as the Land was during High Lord Kevin's reign.

Granted. The world is now as healthy as the Land was during the final moments of Kevin's reign, as the Ritual of Desecration ravaged it.


I wish Pinocchio could move and talk like a real boy.

*poof* On a bench somewhere in Italy, scattered wooden puppet parts slide across a bench, to strains of organ music. Somehow, they assemble themselves into a simulacrum of a human boy. There is a flash of diabolic lightning, and an undead spirit informs the frame, and the zombie arises. Flash again! The zombie turns its head towards you, grins, and says "Heeeeeeere's Chuckie!"

You fail to dodge its carving knife quickly enough.

I wish I could construct an uncorruptible wish.

Wayfriend wrote:
I wish I could construct an uncorruptible wish.

*abracadabra!*

You could construct an uncorruptible wish ... BUT your mouth disappears so you can't utter it!! (writing don't count! )

I wish no additional posts were made to this thread!

[Admin edit: Wish granted. Feeling guilty already, huh? Wanna take it back? Yeah? Yeah?

I wish that many people would decide to post in this thread, so it becomes as popular as "Add a Q". - Alynna]

With a crackle of wish-granting electricity that knocks out power throughout the Midlands... Wish.....nnnnnggggggg.........GRANTED! Phew.

No additional posts are made in this thread. No additional posts above and beyond those that naturally occur here, anyway. This topic contains no additives.

I wish Creator would refrain from being clever.

Wish GRANTED!!!!

Creator will no longer be so clever in this thread .... just absolutely brilliant!!!

[OK Alynna - you can either DELETE (or LOCK to memorialize) the TWO thread!!]

I wish that I had $5,000,000

Granted. You had $5,000,000 dollars, but lost it all.


I wish the goblins would come and take you away... right now!

[I'm finding it harder and harder to come up with these....]

*poof* they do, but in a case of mistaken identity they take you instead. whatsmore the goblins were acting merely as couriers and deliver you to a far worse race of creatures

I wish i was the one-eyed king of the blind.

Wish granted, you have one eye. That you can't see out of.

I wish I had Fatal Rev. in my hands.

Granted. You now have in your hand a copy of Fatal Reverend, an absolutely god-awful horror-comedy novel by someone who should never have been allowed near a pen.


I wish I could go without sleep for days without feeling tired or having any ill effects.

*poof* The news breaks of a sleepless wonder boy. you are subject to years of excrutiatingly monotonous tests by the government in an effort to produce a genetically modified perfect soldier. Eventually they give up and simply arm you with the latest in flawed military weaponry and send you out to the most recent war-zone. you are posted on guard duty every night for the next 6 years until the horror of war forces you to take your own life.

i wish i could be as i am now but with more common sense.

Your wish is granted.
Now that you are armed with more common sense,
you realize that you don't want to be whom you are
and lose your identity to become one of the many faceless people
who wander mindlessly around the streets.

I wish that I could visit Australia

Granted. You can visit Australia. Any practical or financial barriers are removed - but you no longer have the desire to visit. Since cosmic forces are, as a result of your wish, doing everything they can to make you go to Australia whether you like it or not, you find yourself continually stumbling though an endless succession of bizarre and improbable incidents, such as tripping on a paving slab and falling into the back of a taxi bound for the airport.

I wish it would be easier to come up with new wishes.

*Poof*

Now all you can do is come up with new wishes. Your mind is constantly racing and you focus on nothing else. You can't eat, you can't sleep. You're diagnosed as being incorrigably psychotic and locked into a padded cell for the rest of your life where you pace and shout out new wishes.....

I wish I had a functioning crystal ball

Granted. You have a crystal ball, and it functions very well as a paperweight.

I wish I wouldn't become dirty and smelly if I don't shower. It's such a waste of time having to hop in and out of that thing every day.

****POOF****** wish granted!

Your very pores sweat rose oil and you never stink again. You become a self-cleansing creature and never need to get wet. However, everyone else in the world develops a chronic allergy to your scent and you can't have a decent conversation without a volley of sneezes from everyone within a 1km radius.

I wish I had a cup of nice hot tea right now.

DONE! Wish Granted

You have a VERY HOT cup of tea! So hot it scalds your fingers and you drop in in your lap and develop severe third degree burns!!!

I wish silly elfgirl's burns would be healed!!

Granted. They are healed; however, due to the Law of Conservation of...er...Burns, the burnedness has to go somewhere - so you get it.

I wish people wouldn't keep switching on the gas fire in summer. That's just silly.