Page 42 of 100
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 4:05 am
by duchess of malfi
Spring has officially arrived, which means...
there is only another month or two where we could get serious accumulations of snow.
The next time I hear a cell phone ringing in a movie theater I will...
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 6:49 am
by matrixman
The next time I hear a cell phone ringing in a movie theater I will force the cell phone owner to perform stupid human tricks with said phone in the theater lobby...while naked.
Going to the zoo is fun because...
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:18 am
by aTOMiC
Going to the zoo is fun because when the monkeys begin flinging their.......droppings........you may get the chance to see a classic home video moment.
If I were accidentally locked in a cage with a baboon...
Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 8:05 pm
by matrixman
If I were accidentally locked in a cage with a baboon, all the nature shows I've watched would flash through my mind, and I'd realize that none of them had dealt with idiots who locked themselves in with baboons.
Clint Eastwood and his buddy Clyde the orangutan were a great pair because...
Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2004 7:19 pm
by aTOMiC
Clint Eastwood and his buddy Clyde the orangutan were a great pair because they seemed quite at home with each other in an unnatural way.
The one true fear I have is that a 500 pound...
Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 1:16 am
by Loredoctor
The one true fear I have is that a 500 pound... black pudding would be used a martial arts instrument.
I gather that my hedgehog . . .
Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:22 am
by variol son
I gather that my hedgehog . . .just cannot be buggered.
When getting out of the bath in public, one should always attempt to reduce...
Sum sui generis
Vs
Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:36 am
by The Leper Fairy
When getting out of the bath in public, one should always attempt to reduce... the amount of visible butt cleavage.
I when I feed my goldfish...
Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:39 am
by variol son
I when I feed my goldfish...like to sacrifice Queen termites on the altar of Molech, detestable god of the Ammonites.
Whoever said you can never have too much of a good thing has obviously never...
Sum sui generis
Vs
Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2004 11:20 pm
by duchess of malfi
Whoever said you can never have too much of a good thing has obviously never... had warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies!
The best practical joke I have ever pulled on someone is...
Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 2:56 pm
by DukkhaWaynhim
The best practical joke I have ever pulled on someone is go the entire day of 1 April falsely acting as if I was just about to pull the biggest Fool's Day prank, but never actually doing anything, just to foster paranoia.
Only the truly paranoid can...
Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 3:36 pm
by aTOMiC
Only the truly paranoid can see the truth for what it is.
If there is one truth in the universe then...
Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2004 5:36 pm
by DukkhaWaynhim
If there is one truth in the universe then it would be that there is one truth in the universe, unless there were in fact two.
My favorite illegal activity is...
Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 11:57 pm
by aTOMiC
My favorite illegal activity is ripping the "Do not remove under penalty of law" stickers off of matresses.
Unless someone can prove otherwise I choose to believe that....
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2004 2:02 pm
by DukkhaWaynhim
Unless someone can prove otherwise I choose to believe that matter mixed with antimatter makes Celestial SPAM.
Celestial SPAM would be...
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 9:53 am
by Loredoctor
Celestial SPAM would be... repeated posts by God.
On the 8th day, God said . . .
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:19 am
by aTOMiC
On the 8th day, God said I hate mondays.
In the days leading up to the end of the 19th century, a man who had until that moment managed to remain anonymous...
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:28 pm
by Loredoctor
In the days leading up to the end of the 19th century, a man who had until that moment managed to remain anonymous... fell off his coach and died as he was heading to see the prime minister.
Turnips are good for . . .
Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 11:57 pm
by variol son
Turnips are good for . . .kneeling ion when one first meets the newly appointed king.
Meticulousness is all very well but celery...
Sum sui generis
Vs
Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:17 am
by Dragonlily
variol son wrote:Meticulousness is all very well but celery...
threads snarl.
One crumb is a speck, two crumbs are a picnic, but three crumbs are...