Kevin's Watch

Six and a half hours left here.

Looking forward to a quiet and relaxing Shabbat.

Very quiet today at the shop, for a Saturday. It gave me the opportunity to vaccuum into corners that seldom see the light of day. (I term the accumalation of dust to be a build up of negative energy. Even when it's in a back room where the shop assistants and the customers are unaware of it I will still deem it bad for business).

Anyway, I found some hidden items caked with dust. One of which was a black wooden samurai sword that may have been used in a do-jo for practice. As it was unsellable and would have been thrown out I brought it home for myself.

HIAYAI!!!

(Yesterday I purchased a six-pack bag of potato chips and found an extra packet of cheese'n'onion inside. A rare fine indeed.)

Happy, happy, day ...

This morning I pretty much decided during church that I need to leave asap to see my Mom, as her days are numbered. The sermon was all about fighting discouragement, and helped me clear my head about things I needed to let go of. See, I really get attached to my students and was all sorts of anxious about leaving them in other hands for the next month but I am now able to let go. It put things into perspective for me. Thanks to an old African pastor.

So for the next few hours, it seemed like Stag of the dawn wanted to get in a month's worth of talking. I actually found myself thinking "can't he please just shut up?" about three times... But I knew that was his way of venting his anxieties so I let it play. He finally ran out of things to hash out, and the neighbor kid came over for help with his math homework.

Man, stuff can sure happen fast, things that change your life forever. My Mom has always been there. She is not an easy person to know, very private. But as I got older, I saw more and more of her in myself and I feel I got to know her intimately in that way. I also realized I want to be like her, in many ways.

Safe travels Deer.

Spent Saturday afternoon replacing a broken ceiling fan under strict orders from the better half who insists she cannot live without it in the heat wave. Serious pain in the neck.

Rest of the weekend was pleasantly relaxed.

Not feeling work though...

--A

I booked a flight to L.A. last night... going to a memorial for that old dude spiritual father guy I talked about before on this thread.
..And I get to stay with my beloved college roommate, who just gave birth to her firstborn last month, and I have been really really hoping I could come visit her.
Life and death...

I am terrible at planning and avoid doing planning with all I've got in me, so we'll see how I do with all my preparations, by tomorrow night. :-/

deer of the dawn wrote:...See, I really get attached to my students and was all sorts of anxious about leaving them in other hands for the next month but I am now able to let go. It put things into perspective for me. Thanks to an old African pastor.

beautiful, beautiful old people who have wisdom and love God..

deer wrote:Man, stuff can sure happen fast, things that change your life forever. My Mom has always been there. She is not an easy person to know, very private. But as I got older, I saw more and more of her in myself and I feel I got to know her intimately in that way. I also realized I want to be like her, in many ways.

Well then, safe travels to you too Linna.

--A

Linna, Allah ya kiyaye. (May God guide you.)

A sad day for me, my Mom died last night.

I had to tell my 3rd graders, and they all cried and hugged me.

I already had booked a flight on Sunday, but was hoping to see her before she departed. That's life.

So I will make my 2nd trip to the US to bury someone I love this year.

Hugs to all.

I am so sorry for your loss, Deer. I wish for you strength.

Death reaps the beauty of the world-
bundles old crops to hasten new.

Be still, heart:
hold peace.

So sorry, Deer.

Sorry for your loss, Deer. Have a safe journey.

So sorry for your loss, deer.

Ah, condolences Deer, and safe journeys.

--A

Feel like I'm double posting, but at least it's nearly the weekend...

--A

Holiday weekend for most folks in this part of the world. I always used to go camping on Thanksgiving weekend. It would usually be raining, and I'm one of those weird people that enjoys camping in the rain. Haven't been able to keep that tradition up since I've had to work the Friday after the past 15 years. Remind me to get a real job one of these days.

No holiday here.

Still, at least it's the weekend.

--A

Not really a holiday for me either (and for fewer and fewer people every year). I did actually have yesterday off, though unpaid. My more recent tradition has been to spend it at the shelter with the rest of the strays, but yesterday I was too depressed to work up enough motivation to go out. Today I am over-caffeinated to the point that I feel as though my teeth belong to someone else. Probably other parts of my body as well, but the teeth, definitely. I wonder if I can get them to pay my dental bills.

Middle of the night: gall bladder attack or just really bad indigestion? Either way, hurts like hell!

Sorry, peter!

I don't know what to think. I literally haven't slept more than 5 hours a night for weeks, and it's starting to feel normal.

Thanksgiving was really wonderful. We all got together at my mother's apartment, where I am staying (so I cooked the turkey, something I love to do). My kids (Fawn and Buck of the Dawn) showed up Wednesday morning at 5 am (I had already been up since 3:30). After everyone else left on Thursday, we snuggled on the couch till midnight, when they left (Buck is used to driving at night and wanted to avoid traffic). Also, 2 Nigerian girls we love very much came from NYC where they are students and joined us.

There is so much to do when someone dies and it's up to you to deal with what is left from their life. Sometimes, though, I fall on the couch in Mom's spot and watch TV. I miss Stag but I need to be free to do that and burst into sobs when I need to, and remember what an amazing chick my Mom was.

Sorus wrote:Not really a holiday for me either (and for fewer and fewer people every year). I did actually have yesterday off, though unpaid. My more recent tradition has been to spend it at the shelter with the rest of the strays, but yesterday I was too depressed to work up enough motivation to go out.

Argh, stuckness.
I think the worst is just feeling like it will never end.
If someone was able to convincingly and honestly say, "yeah, you'll be stuck and it'll be miserable, but it'll only last 48 hours, and there will be loads of purpose in it... spread out over years and decades, mind you.. but a lot of good things will come of it to various people eventually," one might be like, "okay, fiiine.. I'll sign up for another 48 hours!"
But, unfortunately... not happening.

I've been more anxious these last few days than I have been in a long while.
Really "stuck," too. Getting small things done. Not anything close to the things I think I most need to get done, but.. things that help.

Deer! I did not realize you weren't already by your mom when she passed. Darn.
Glaad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. People starting their days at 3:30... kids showing up at 5am to your delight... so crazy early..