Kevin's Watch

Here're are some Win Wayfriend's Money statistics.

In 2009

+ There have been 12 contests
+ 6,000 WGD have been won
+ 8 different members have won
+ 2 members have won more than once
+ 1 member has won 3 times - matrixman!

For all time

+ There have been 21 contests
+ 10,500 WGD have been won
+ 14 different members have won
+ 7 members have won more than once
+ 1 member has won 4 times - matrixman!

Congratulations, matrixman. I thought I'd honor you with these statistics.

Nice job, MM!

w00t!!!
Way to go, neo!!!

... and nice job Wayfriend for compiling stats in true MM style!

(I just love stats... don't tell anyone )

Excellent, wayfriend! I accept the honor of these stats, and in return I honor the giver. (Apologies to SRD.)

You doled out that many WGDs, huh? Remarkable, sir.

Surprised that I won that many times. I think it had taken a while before I won my first one.

Another "Watchie" is in order way, along with your reply in "Grandma's Brain"! Good job!

Well, I have another 500, so here goes.

This Week's Contest

Well, it's that time of year again. The time when we realize we aren't going to be able to keep that New Year's resolution we've made.

This week's contest will be: pick a Donaldson character -- any one -- and give me 26 New Year's resolutions that that character has made, and subsequently broken. One beginning with A, one beginning with B, ... yes, you got it: It's the ABC Donaldson Character Broken New Year's Resolutions game.

For example:

• Vain's Broken New Year's Resolutions:
  
  Always say please and thank you.
  Be more conversational.
  Change my look.
  Don't let warped ur-viles push my buttons.
  ...

The winner will be picked on Friday, and entries will be accepted until the winner is announced. Entries will be judged based on humor, cleverness, knowledge of the alphabet, and an understanding of a character's insecurities. And, as always, audience participation is encouraged, necessary, and appreciated.

Infelice's Broken New Year's Resolutions:

Answer all questions truthfully.
Be more compassionate.
Cancel the "Appointed Relocation and Protection Program".
Deliver on promises of gifts.
Exude a positive outlook on life.
Find a new hairstylist.
Get Findail some backup.
Hire a new PR firm.
Invite Chant over for some one-on-one time.
Justice for all.
Kastenessen, your penance is done. We'll send someone to relieve you.
Love thy neighbor.
Malicious intent? No, not the Elohim.
Never do anyone any harm.
Open Elemesnedene to all visitors, free of charge.
Protect and Serve all the Creator has done.
Quickly and forcefully respond to all world-threatening emergencies.
Reveal any hidden agenda upon demand.
Support the Sun-Sage.
Trust in the Timewarden.
Understanding.
Verify and clarify all rumors regarding Elohim activities.
Why ask "what have you done?" We'll tell you before it happens.
Xylophone bell-tones for everyone!
You are the white gold. And we'll stop trying to take it.
Zig Ziglar seminars to help us with our motivational ethics.

...and we're off to a fantastic start.
Nicely done, Rob!
Love the xylophone bell-tones and the Zig Zigler reference.

rdhopeca...

Whew. This one could take me all week...

Linden's Resolutions

Avoid using talent
Bitch more
Continue to plod along, hoping to stumble on a decision
Depth. Try to possess it for a change.
Eat more cheese (to go with the whine)
Feel inadequate while possessing the greatest power in The Land
Grow some balls (hopefully)
Help the greatest evil entity destroy all that is good
Infer reluctance when expected to do anything remotely close to helping
Just ask for help destroying everything for own agenda.
Kill everything on warpath to aforementioned importance
Let others carry the burdensome consequences of decisions finally made
More bitching
Nip in a nap while Anele is imprisoned and slowly going insane
Offset reluctance to make a decision with reluctance to heal those carrying the consequences
Possess people more. Sort of like Drink More Coke.
Quit feeling. It gets in the way.
Rely on a strong character like TC to continue storyline so depth isn't required while The Linden Avery Show is on
Sob into hands
Try to get in Covenant's pants (as if he doesn't already have enough distractions)
Undo healing TC died for
Victory........?
Wonder why each decision ends up being bad (must put some thought into this)
X-Ray brain. Make sure it still works.
Year-End Clearance on Guts and Good Decision. Slashing prices.
Zero tolerance for all things logical.

I know, I know. Some are stretching it. I had to keep it going. It sounds a lot worse than what my disdain for her actually is. But, in short, I created the letter-order in which she'd predictably achieve these resolutions:
L, I, N, D, E, N, S, A, W, H, O, R, E

I'm just sayin'

Whew. This one could take me all week...

Me too. I'm working on it.

Bob, well done.

Keydene, I'm sure HLT is going to post a head-bang smilie after he sees your entry. After he's mad at you for stealing all his ideas, he may propose to you or ask you to run for something.

TO: Bahgoon the Unbearable

26 things you have to do THIS YEAR unless you like sleeping on the couch PERMANENTLY!

FROM: Thelma Twofist (XOXOXO)

Act a little less....unbearable.

Brush your damn teeth once in a while.

Caamoras are NOT for burning trash. Stop it; people are starting to talk.

Diamondraught bottles are NOT collectible, so quit piling them on MY shelves.

Either you walk that pet Griffin of yours, or I'll walk it off Landsdrop, permanent-like.

Flowers. Once in a while. It won't kill you, and you'll like the reward.

Get a damn job.

Hampers are not the floor. The floor is not a hamper. Do the math.

I better not have to remind you about our anniversary. For your sake.

Join diamondraughtics anonymous, you damn lush.

Killing Viles is fine; just don't track their entrails on my floor.

Learn to chew with your mouth closed.

Metheglin does NOT bring out the best in you. Quit drinking it.

No more trips to the sea. I know what you and those hussy merewives are doing!

One time, just ONE TIME, I'd like to see you get off your lazy ass and carry in tyhe groceries.

Pretend to like my parents. It's the least you can do to repay them for pretending to like you.

Quit saying "Würd" all the time....it's SO dated.

Ramen are NOT a type of noodle, whatever the hell that's supposed to be. Quit calling them that!

Stop bragging to the boys about...you know what. Or else there will be nothing to brag about!

Throw away the arghule socks.....face it, the eighties are over, and they're NOT coming back.

Ussusimiel is NOT for throwing at old people.

Voure isn't food.

Wash once in a while.

X is NOT a signature. Learn to write your name, damn it!

You need to learn when to keep your mouth closed. Practice by keeping it closed ALL THE TIME.

Zip it!

Awesome! I am not worthy of this contest...

dAN --

Really great entries so far.

dANdeLION wrote:Throw away the arghule socks.....face it, the eighties are over, and they're NOT coming back.

That slays me...utterly!

I still got nothin'.

Kaydene wrote:Linden's Resolutions

Avoid using talent
Bitch more
Continue to plod along, hoping to stumble on a decision
Depth. Try to possess it for a change.
Eat more cheese (to go with the whine)
Feel inadequate while possessing the greatest power in The Land
Grow some balls (hopefully)
Help the greatest evil entity destroy all that is good
Infer reluctance when expected to do anything remotely close to helping
Just ask for help destroying everything for own agenda.
Kill everything on warpath to aforementioned importance
Let others carry the burdensome consequences of decisions finally made
More bitching
Nip in a nap while Anele is imprisoned and slowly going insane
Offset reluctance to make a decision with reluctance to heal those carrying the consequences
Possess people more. Sort of like Drink More Coke.
Quit feeling. It gets in the way.
Rely on a strong character like TC to continue storyline so depth isn't required while The Linden Avery Show is on
Sob into hands
Try to get in Covenant's pants (as if he doesn't already have enough distractions)
Undo healing TC died for
Victory........?
Wonder why each decision ends up being bad (must put some thought into this)
X-Ray brain. Make sure it still works.
Year-End Clearance on Guts and Good Decision. Slashing prices.
Zero tolerance for all things logical.

I know, I know. Some are stretching it. I had to keep it going. It sounds a lot worse than what my disdain for her actually is. But, in short, I created the letter-order in which she'd predictably achieve these resolutions:
L, I, N, D, E, N, S, A, W, H, O, R, E

I'm just sayin'

You had me at "avoid".
Marry me.

You had me at "avoid".
Marry me.

hahaha.

Dan, yours takes the cake. Very clever.