Kevin's Watch

emotional leper wrote:

Auleliel wrote:I don't know that I've ever had a happy dream.

If you wake up crying, you may have had one.

You know. Those dreams where everything is perfect. That special someone never really left you and broke your heart. All those bad things were just a dream -- this is reality. And then you wake up, and you expect that person to be right there, next to you, when you wake up. But they're not. And then you remember. And at first you think you're not going to cry. You got over it a long time ago, you think. You're not going to cry. You won't let yourself cry. And then, it feels like someone's stabbed you in the chest. And you realise that she's gone. And not only that, but that one by one, they're all disappearing. That they're something wrong when you're not even out of your twenties and most of the people who meant something to you are dead, or might as well be. And that the hardest thing is to go on. Because it's getting harder and harder to find reasons. And the tears come. They come like they're never going to end. You cry until it hurts to cry. Until it hurts to breathe. You cry until you run out of tears, and still you are wracked with sobs. And then you start to laugh. A little at first. Strangely. And then it comes again. And again. And soon you're laughing. And you can't stop. And you ask yourself, inside, with that dim, distant part of your self that is aware of what is going on, "Is this the time that I'm not going to come back from this? Is this the time the rubber band of my sanity is finally going to snap? Will I be in a straight jacket in some padded room tomorrow, drooling on myself?"

But eventually it stops.

And as time goes on, it happens less and less.

But every now and then, someone will say something that she used to say. Or you'll be playing a game that you and she used to play. Or you'll sing a song to your godson that your grandfather used to sing to you. Or you'll see someone who can't hold a cup of coffee without their hand jerking this way and that and spilling it, and wonder what it's going to be like to be like that. Or you'll meet someone who hasn't yet had the world shit all over them. Who hasn't yet realised that the world is exactly what it appears to be. That there are no innocents anymore. That there never were. You'll remember what it was like to be like that. Innocent. Happy. Naive. Ignorant. Virginal. Untarnished. Pure. Alive. And you'll remember the hell you went through that made you lose it. And the pain will come again.

Lucimay wrote:i dreamed that syl and i were in darkshore looking for someone to repair our armor. yikes.

Sorus wrote: Never had an SRD dream

matrixman wrote:

Sorus wrote: Never had an SRD dream

Hope you have one some day. I've only ever had a few Donaldsonian dreams, and those were years ago. But I treasure them. My dreams of the Land were never "happy." Meeting Elena in Melenkurion Skyweir...that haunted me for a long time.

CovenantJr wrote:

matrixman wrote:

Sorus wrote: Never had an SRD dream

Hope you have one some day. I've only ever had a few Donaldsonian dreams, and those were years ago. But I treasure them. My dreams of the Land were never "happy." Meeting Elena in Melenkurion Skyweir...that haunted me for a long time.

I've never had a dream about SRD's books, as far as I remember. But way back, when there was no reason to believe I'd ever meet SRD, I had a dream that he came to the UK and did a Q&A in some kind of garden. A fortnight or so later, the UK dates for his Runes Q&A tour were announced.

In the dream, I asked him something about Mhoram. I don't remember the question, but I remember his answer involved drawing a diagram on a blackboard. In reality, I asked him a question about the writing process.