Cail wrote:
I'm finally starting to believe I'm in the right frame of mind to start dating (after a 19-year hiatus), so while I'm nervous about it, and most of my moves revolve around either Def Leppard or Poison songs, I'm rarin' to go.
Anyone got a sister or cousin in the Baltimore area? Other than my actual in-laws, most people seem to think I'd make a good in-law.
Whew....mama...are you going to be awkward. I had a hiatus that was half of that, and I was VERY stumbly when I made my move last year.
Tips:
1. Nothing that worked 19 years ago will work now.
2. I don't know quite how old you are, but I think you are in your 40s if I remember correctly. I'm near that. Women around our age are interested in financial stability over looks, to some degree. If you have it, you are halfway home, my friend. If you aren't, I hope you have looks.
3. Personality ultimately is important, but you have to be able to get to the point with someone that they will actually listen to something you have to say to prove your sparkling personality.
4. Point #3 basically means if you have looks, you will be able to impress with personality. If not, don't bother with the bar thing.
5. If you are shy like I am, and am not comfortable with meeting strangers, definitely do not bother with the bar thing.
6. If you can't think of anything but the bar thing, at least go with someone you laugh a lot with. Preferably male.
7. Remember, hot women go to bars, but rarely do they go to pick up guys. They mainly go to look good and make those looking for that special someone sadder about their lives. Not to mention that hot women who go to bars 9 times out of 10 will not give up that habit after they have met you.
8. Find a social hobby. There is an upcoming election...get involved. Women dig men with passion.
9. Plays are tempting, but actresses are typically insane. Then again, the foam-at-the-mouth political person is also nuts.
10. Being a couch potato is not a way to meet women. You have to walk out the door of your house/condo/apartment/shack/van down by the river.
11. Computer dating is a viable alternative. In this day and age of increasing xenophobic behavior, it's a very good way to meet someone, if you can get them to leave their house.
12. You don't have to pay for computer dating. Especially if you have a sparkling personality. Try Craig's List first. Expect to provide a picture.
13. Try answering an ad first. One that isn't all about sex, and one that doesn't sound too frightening. Chat with them via email for while...keep putting off a meeting. Get the feel for things unless you really like this person. But probably best to never meet the first person.
14. Find someone who seems the right person. Do the email things a little bit, be charming and witty, and try to rush into a phone call and then a meeting. The more time you spend talking before meeting them, the more likely it will turn out like tip 13. Too much talking before meeting seems to be a bad thing. It IS good, however, to keep talking after meeting.
15. If the date goes well, don't get too excited. Rope it back. Don't express that it is love at first sight. Be casual. Don't try to analyze every look, expression, unconfortable chuckle or excuse to go to the bathroom.
16. If her friends show up and she asks them to sit down with you, it's time to ask for the check. You have failed. Believe me, I know.
17. All women are different. Be yourself. If you are not yourself during the date, she will almost certainly know. If she doesn't know and she is really taken by this other person you have created, it will come out eventually, and she won't like the you that you revert back to. I learned that tip from sitcoms.
18. Try not to bitch too much. Nobody likes a complainer.
19. Women still sometimes like men who cry...but really maybe a single tear. Not sobbing with the snot and the blubbering and all that.
20. Don't try to make it work just because she is hot. You will eventually want to have a conversation with the bimbo.
21. Remember, I never know what I'm talking about, and half are jokes anyway, but there are a few nuggets that worked for/against me, but will almost certainly not work for/against you. So ignore everything I just said.
).
