Kevin's Watch

Actually that wish wasnt sufficiently corrupted as that still sounds pretty awesome to me Its a dream to hold a lion cub, a baby elephant, hyenas or crocs .. gingivitis or not

Now to a true corruption

Bazinga ... bazunga .. and done

.. as you wish, you can now eat sugar and not pay "the consequences" .. so you eat and you eat and you eat .. but as you did not specify which consequences .. you not have to pay any financial consequence at all for your consumptions. However, just like Violet Beauregarde you turn blue and blow up to 10 feet all day blueberry all day gum stopper and then explode

Oh my!! What about your wish, Sky?

Oh f me .. lol

I wish I could literally fly

ZING!!! You can literally fly! In fact, that's all you can do, and it is now impossible for you to land. You hover like an albatross above your loved ones and the goats are so confused. Your hair is a wreck, eating is a major challenge, and hurricane season is coming on....

I wish I could breathe underwater!

Zap! You can breathe underwater. And only underwater. Seaworld wants to hire you to play a mermaid.


I wish I was a better artist.

Poof! You can now draw 0.0001 better than you did a minute ago. [you did not define HOW much better ]

I wish I owned a Star trek transporter that would transport me to work and back within a couple seconds

You own a Star Trek transporter that will transport you to work and back within a couple of seconds. Assuming your workday is longer than a couple of seconds, you're probably going to need to rely on a more mundane method of travel, though your coworkers will surely all be talking about how you appeared for a couple of seconds before immediately vanishing.


I wish I could take a vacation.

You can take a vacation. But it's a permanent vacation, because while you are on Montserrat the Apocalypse happens and there is no communication with the outside world and you must learn to catch Mountain Chicken and eat soursop and coconuts with the rest of the islanders and the few tourists, who come begging for sunscreen and your last candy bars, but that volcano is making a lot of noise again and it's not looking too good for white people...

I wish I could have my dream job AND live near my kids.

awww .. thats such a nice wish ..

I dont like corrupting such lovely wishes

Bazinga .. you find a dream job right down the street from where your kids live .. they love you working soooo close but you decide to move in with both of them and its all just a bit much even though you secretly love it

I wish the new doggie we are caring for was a gentle giant

ZZZINGGG!!! That new doggie IS a gentle giant. He towers over the house and trees, and requires at least two full grown sheep or a modest bull per day in order to subsist. When dinner is late, he helps himself to the neighborhood domestics and a kangaroo or two... You come back from the grocery shops one night to find the end of his rope chewed through...

I wish I had a pony.

Poof! Underneath a floor board is hidden a small My Little Pony.

I wish that all my debt would be paid off.

Bazango .. all your debt is fully paid off .. and now you have more debt to replace the earlier debt .. and bazngo thats paid off .. and you guessed it more debt replaces that debt .. for all time and eternity

I wish I had a hard heart

You have a hard heart. It's encased in carbonite. Makes a good paperweight/conversation piece. 'Whose heart is that?" "Dunno, bought it on Etsy."


I wish I'd won the lottery.

Sweet jesus you have won the lottery .. if I had my phone Id insert fun loving emojis here and money and treasure emojis

Use your imagination



Celebrations were had .. and went long into the night .. and whilst laughing, singing and dancing .. the winning ticket fell out of your pocket

Your numbers absolutely .. but when you go to claim your winnings .. you are unable to prove your claim By some small chance you had not misplaced the stub .. but sadly it dont prove anything other than you bought A ticket.

Every thing gone, lost, you got nada.

That was remarkably fun. :LOL:

I wish I had more land

You have more land. Acres and acres of it. On Mars. Your great-great-great-great grandchildren will be thrilled.


I wish I could quit my job and make a living as a writer.

You make a living as a writer, but attract such crazed fans that you always have to have an elaborate route in and out of your house, with people you employ as decoys, and always be in disguise in order to safely go anywhere without being harassed by obnoxious admirers demanding pictures and autographs.

I wish I could freeze time whenever I wished.

Zinga .. you can freeze time in any unit of time you choose along the linear temporal spectrum. You loved your childhood so much, particularly your 10th birthday .. so you freeze that moment where you are just about to eat a piece of the most amazing and creative bday cake of all time ..

You remain frozen in that moment forever, never enjoying the associated moments outside of that nano second.

I wish I was a starship captain

Poof you are promoted to starship captain...of a waste removal starship sent 999 quadrillion light years away from any civilization and not enough energy, oxygen or necessities to get you back to any habitable planet...and gross the smell!!!!

I wish that all my jokes on KW were funny

All of your jokes on KW are funny. In fact, they're so funny that Google lists us as a humor site, and we get flooded by random people who have never heard of SRD, and you get 500 PMs an hour from strangers who want the next new joke.


I wish I had a reason/excuse to dress up for Halloween.

Bazingo you have millions of reasons, excuses to dress up for Halloween like its fun, its one night, you can be whatever you want for one night, you can be sexy, scary, funny, wacky .. you name it .. and no one will know under the costume its you .. you can enjoy the absolute freedom of anonymity but alas you made the wish one day late .. and Halloween is over and you must live with the regret of lost opportunity

Hey theres always 2019

I wish there was world peace