Kevin's Watch

SRD wrote:Put it this way: what's your reaction when you see someone you know sobbing openly? I know from personal experience that my reaction is a deep and almost irrefusable desire to put my arms around that person and comfort him/her. And I also know from personal experience that other people feel a deep and irrefusable desire to leave the room. (At least that's what they do when *I'm* sobbing. <rueful smile>) Well, readers of the latter type are unlikely to feel anything except disgust when they try to read one of my books.

Do you feel the same way? Are you like SRD, and would feel the overwheming urge to comfort said sobbing person? I know I am.

I was just kinda curious to see how this applies to Watchers....

I'm asking how you feel as opposed to how you react because that is specifically how SRD worded it.

yay for replying to myself!

Anyway, I just wanted to add that I'm a comforter. I've done it in the past and I'll do it again. I am pretty responsive to overy displays of emotion. Maybe that's why I appreciated the Gap Cycle so much...

sorry, i have little sympathy or empathy. i was just made that way.

...an irrefusable desire to walk away

Depends if i know the person or not.

I've actually stopped on many occasions to see if I can help.

So you walk by a sobbing girl in a park. You feel...

Horny.


Wait, is she hot?

I have always been a comforter, always one to get deep with the one in sorrow. I have on numerous occaisions actually sat and listened and cried with total strangers. On one occaision I learned that this person was about to commit suicide and felt no one cared about her, by stopping and listening, and crying with this person it stopped her from doing something horrible to herself. You never know just who's life you will change just by sharing someone else's sorrow and heartbreak. My lesson learned that day has been with me ever since..........

I agree! My most recent one was I heard someone crying while I was walking up to my house. It turned out the fourteen year old girl from a few houses up was locked out and had been for a couple hours so I invited her in to our place to wait until someone else from her family got home. She was so sweet and relieved and now whenever we run into each other on the train we sit together and chat.

You need to add to the poll: "Suspicious. Like I'm about to be robbed or falsely accused of something."

I also seldom put my arms around someone who isn't as close to me like a member of my immediate family.

So I might ask her, from a distance if she needs some help.


And yeah, seriously, is she hot?

If a child or girl, sure a desire to comfort. If a dude's bawlin, then he's on his own...and he know's he is, which makes him bawl even more.

If I see a child crying, sure, I feel an urge to comfort. If I saw a grown man crying, not the slightest desire. Zero. Not even if it was Stephen R. Donaldson. No, it's not some macho aversion or homophobia. I just feel like he should probably, um, get over it. A woman? I'm married. I can't go around hugging strange women in the park! Okay, that's just an excuse. I'd probably think she's overreacting.

Yeah, I'm a jerk.

But I love Donaldson's books. I disagree with his conclusion.

[Edit: I see Kil Tyme and I were thinking alike!]

SRD wrote:Put it this way: what's your reaction when you see someone you know sobbing openly? I know from personal experience that my reaction is a deep and almost irrefusable desire to put my arms around that person and comfort him/her. And I also know from personal experience that other people feel a deep and irrefusable desire to leave the room. (At least that's what they do when *I'm* sobbing. <rueful smile>) Well, readers of the latter type are unlikely to feel anything except disgust when they try to read one of my books.

Does this mean that Linden is NEVER going to stop crying in the Last Chronicles?
The last page will be the Creator giving her a hug?
"Sorry Creator/Foul/TC but I destroyed your Arch....boo hoo..boo hoo....."

I'd ask anyone if they were alright, regardless of sex. The girls I'd try to comfort, however.

I usually ask if anyone's ok male or female--and try to help if I can.

I'd ask if she was OK. I absolutely wouldn't touch her.

Does anyone else notice a political correlation to the responses here? Makes you think . . .

People seem to flock towards me in that kind of situation...I don't really know why; but complete strangers love to tell me what's bothering them; So I don't think I'd have a choice.

I remember this one time, I was delivering in a shaddy area of the city, and this lady, who looked fairly poor (but was also a good 280-290lbs) came up to me carrying a large bag of clothing, and asked me if I'd take it a few blocks down to the church for her. I did, and offered to take her too...unfortunatly, I nearly had to lift her into the cab of the truck...then she started crying about how she was supposed to meet with the minister, and he had some food stamps for her, and that she was out of tea, and then she reallt got worked up when the minister wasn't at the church..but at this point I did kind of have to get back to work and stuff...she told me she had bus fare to get back home, so I drover her to the nearest busstop...and tried to reasure her the best I could.

And though it was incedibly awkward, I'd probebly do it again if the need arose.

I call it street smarts. I don't wanna get jacked.

Cail wrote:I call it street smarts. I don't wanna get jacked.

Have faith in your fellow human from time to time, Cail! Blessed Be!!! If someone hurts, intercession is really part of being truly human. Love will conquer everything and anything, even if it's love that is only shared but for a moment...........I guess I see the world different from most. My love for others is boundless. Part of being truly human...............

I agree with/am in the same boat as Cail (blowing someones theory). I'm a male: I cannot approach a kid in a park. (But inside I want to comfort.)