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web vomit (rated pg-13?)
Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:55 pm
by sgt.null
First Ronald Mcdonald
www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/12/mcdonalds-commercial.html
Oh Tigger! You've done it again!
www.collegehumor.com/video:26704
Why Animals Are Better Then You
www.clipstr.com/videos/WhyAnimalsAreBetterThenYou/
Runaway Teens Get Blindsided by an 18 Wheeler
www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1152789765/R ... 18_Wheeler
Robot Chicken - Stupid Monkey
youtube.com/watch?v=ZFJAZ0G2c9k
Penn & Teller
www.thexcity.org/waterbaningpetition.php
The Shining
youtube.com/watch?v=z_Pxhe-riSQ
Scary 'Mary Poppins' Trailer
youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 6:35 pm
by sgt.null
I walked into a Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a
sandwich.
I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that
said, "Buy one-get one free". "They are already buy-one-get-one-free", she
said, "so I guess they're both free." She handed me my free sandwiches
and I
walked out the door.
They walk among us and many work retail.
===================
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them
shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said,
"Where?"
They Walk among us!
====================
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him
up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that
stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!
====================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a
call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!
====================
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat
belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
====================
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us!
====================
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
They Walk Among Us!
====================
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces."
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 6:36 pm
by sgt.null
The following 15 Police Comments were Taken off actual police car
> videos around the country.
>
> #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
> Stretch after you wear them a while."
>
> #14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
> Certificate
> a
> worthless document."
>
> #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>
> #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
> speed
> of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
>
> #11 "You don't know how fast you were going?I guess that means I can
> Write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
>
> #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think
> It will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
>
> # 9 "Warning! You want a warning?O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
> Again
> or I'll give you another ticket."
>
> # 8 "The answer to this last question will determine Whether you are
> drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>
> # 7 "Fair? You want me to be fair?Listen, fair is a place where you
> goTo ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
> Poop."
>
> # 6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
> toaster oven."
>
> # 5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>
> # 4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
>
> # 3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
> allowed
> to write as many tickets as we can."
>
> # 2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief of Police Hawker is a personal
friend
> of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
>
> The envelope please..................... AND THE WINNER IS.... # 1
> "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
> don't. Sign here."
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 6:46 pm
by sgt.null
Robot Rape?
ebaumsworld.com/2007/01/robot-rape.html
Eagle lugging deer head causes blackout Mon Jan 29, 4:25 PM ET
JUNEAU, Alaska - About 10,000 Juneau residents briefly lost power after a bald eagle lugging a deer head crashed into transmission lines.
"You have to live in Alaska to have this kind of outage scenario," said Gayle Wood, an Alaska Electric Light & Power spokeswoman. "This is the story of the overly ambitious eagle who evidently found a deer head in the landfill." The bird, weighed down by the deer head, apparently failed to clear the transmission lines, she said. A repair crew found the eagle dead, the deer head nearby. The power was out for less than 45 minutes Sunday.
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 6:51 pm
by Warmark
Some of the police ones are brillaint.
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:29 pm
by sgt.null
VideoNo Direction, Period
www.superdeluxe.com/sd/contentDetail.do ... 7445392387
six drummers
youtube.com/watch?v=Z7h8qkMBE_E
Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 3:23 pm
by sgt.null
Passion Flower (Fur Elise)
youtube.com/watch?v=nGpeb7NZP0Q&mode=related&search=
Epicureans Fly to Bangkok for $25K Meal
abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=2865842&page=1
Ares: God of war and now a peer-to-peer file sharing network.
Hermes: multitasking god of athletics, shepherds, inventor of fire, and now an upscale fashion line.
Zeus: the big man on the Olympian campus still commands singular attention, even in Search.
Apollo: God of the sun, art, and medicine, among others, appropriated with varying degrees of success by NASA.
Athena: Goddess of wisdom. Much like her dad, Zeus, she has held fast to her divine meaning in Search.
Aphrodite: Beauty, love, lust, and sex are her domains. It's a wonder that she doesn't rank higher in Search.
Poseidon: God of the sea. We hear he's still feeling stormy about those movies.
Hades: God of the underworld—still trying to shake the associations with the devilish dude next door.
Artemis: Goddess of the hunt and, for some reason, a favored name for modern businesses in Search.
Hera: Goddess of marriage and birth and jealous wife of Zeus appears to hold her own in Search.
Hephaestus: God of fire and forge. A tough guy, but got beat out in popularity by his Olympian colleagues.
Hestia: Lesser known goddess of the hearth is our pick for adopted deity. Our heart goes out to the underdog.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_school_pranks
adult