Kevin's Watch

www.office-humour.co.uk/external/howtop ... .ytmnd.com

Enjoy!

"Olympia sperm bank, you squeeze it, we freeze it! How can I help you?"

They never call me back again.

Personally I'm always polite with telemarketers.

I let them go through their entire pitch; and then politly tell them that though whatever it is they are selling sounds great that I'm not interested at this time, but perhaps another time.

I hope that the poor slave on the other end of the line appriciates it.

drew wrote:Personally I'm always polite with telemarketers.

I let them go through their entire pitch; and then politly tell them that though whatever it is they are selling sounds great that I'm not interested at this time, but perhaps another time.

I hope that the poor slave on the other end of the line appriciates it.

I always try to be polite like that in person, but for me, I hate phones. You call me, I'm going to mess with you. I try not to be a dick, but I'll mess with you.

I act like I am mentally challenged and ask dumb questions. Example: During one political race I got a call, "have you ever heard of Roy Moore", I replied in a voice somewhat Forrest Gumpish "don't he work down at the chicken plant?", when asked if I voted I replied "sometimes they take me down there and let me pull that lever". I have also found out that this approach will always get you out of jury duty, just misspell most of the words on the questionaire, use poor grammer,(even worse than usual) and tell personal bits like, "I dont much know if my car will make it ther my transmison has bin slippin and I aint got no money to fix it. Its not relly a good time for me to do this cause I just started a new job and all, and since my transmison has bin slippin I been late a few days, I don't need to get fired on account my wife has to go to the methadone clinic and all."

I don't have a home phone so I don't get pestered by telemarketers. However, I did play a prank on one who called my mum's place when I was there...I just said, "Hold please"...and muffled the phone for the next five minutes!! Guess who hung up?

My number is unlisted so I'm spared from the scourge. On a completely different note - I had a psycho girlfriend who kept calling - I told her to hold on a little bit - then I proceeded to have dinner, watch a bit of TV...and then I went back to the phone...she was STILL on the other side and somewhat spitting. You would have thought she got the message THEN but OH NO!!!

Anyway - back to topic

Vain wrote:My number is unlisted so I'm spared from the scourge. On a completely different note - I had a psycho girlfriend who kept calling - I told her to hold on a little bit - then I proceeded to have dinner, watch a bit of TV...and then I went back to the phone...she was STILL on the other side and somewhat spitting. You would have thought she got the message THEN but OH NO!!!

She would have made a fabulous telemarketer.

I'm jus' sayin'.

www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/09/Waystoirrit ... keter.html

lol I've seen a few ways to

She would have good a fabulous postal worker too

Got rid of my landline, so not an issue anymore.

But....

-Tell 'em you're in the bathtub.

-Ask if their parents are proud of their child's career choice.

-Ask them if they've found Jesus (in a southern twang).

-Tell them you're so glad they called 'cause you're so lonely.

-Start screaming and throwing stuff around as though you're being robbed/beaten/killed.

-Start talking dirty to them and request that they do the same to you.

Cail wrote:-Start screaming and throwing stuff around as though you're being robbed/beaten/killed.

-Start talking dirty to them and request that they do the same to you.

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=10684

I don't remember posting on that.....

Am I the only person who feels sorry for telemarketers?

Probably.

I have at least five and sometimes up to fifteen telemarketers a day calling the shop and mispronouncing my bosses name. Once, long ago I had sympathy for telemarketers, now I just have no patience left for them. Keep in mind also that this is on top of the two or three autodial calls we get as well. The ones that you pick up the phone and an automated machine tells you to hold for a very important message. GAH!

While I am not personally attacking the poor buggers who have to work as telemarketers, I wish the heck whoever came up with the idea of bombarding people with unwanted phone calls had thought long and hard & completely REJECTED that idea as a marketing tool...

I don't get many, but when I do they always call at the worst possible time, such as while you're in the middle of eating.

Plus I could never figure out what part of the word "no" they don't understand. I used to be polite to them, but I found this got me nowhere so now I just tell them that they have the wrong number and hang up.

Every now and again, my name is mispronounced or (worse) they seem to think I'm a deep-voiced woman and call me "Mrs". I detest that. They should do their research before intruding on people's free time for their hardcore sales pitches.

If I wish to purchase something, I'll initiate the contact. In other wards, "Don't call me, I'll call you!"

Sorry for the rant, but that's my 10 cents worth!