Kevin's Watch

I'd like to than EL for inspiration, and I hope he can forgive me:

1: I may not place my purchase of 30 pounds of different cuts of beef in a semi-transparent plastic bag in the fridge in the pathologist’s lunchroom

2: I may not call our customers (the police) “pigs”, even if they are not listening

3: No whistling show-tunes within earshot of the morgue

4: Dr. Kervorkian WAS the first person to be called Dr. Death

5: When the police call to ask about a specific DNA profile, I am not allowed to say that they are looking for a man with a slight limp and a distinct lisp

6: It is not “good fun” to hide under the sheets in the morgue and shout BOOO! When a mortician comes to pick up a “client”

7: I am not allowed to replace the names of suspects in the database with the top 100 richest list from Forbes

8: Rolling a 20 sided die 22 times is not good enough to replace a DNA profile if I messed up the evidence

9: I can’t run red lights shouting “I’t ok! I’m a forensic geneticist!"

10: I did not put the “sick” in forensic

2: I may not call our customers (the police) “pigs”, even if they are not listening

That's not fair! Can you at least do the sniffing thing, as in 'I smell bacon'?

Heh! Sniffing thing is usually done to indicate that there is a "stinker" in da house.

Mmmm nice!

But bacon does smell nice! So can you not do the sniff+frown for a stinker and sniff+smile for the bacon?

I'll try to see if it passes!

I always say, anyone else feel like pork chops for lunch?

jeez Prebe what the HELL do you do for a living????

are you a CORONER?????



(watches LOTS of true crime television, has a crush on Dr. Henry Lee, foremost blood spatter pattern expert, deifies Agent Dale Hinman on Body of Evidence!!!)

He's a forensic genetecist Lucimay! He does dna profiling on dead peops.

Prebe, can you get away with accidentally leaving the bodies in the cafeteria?

heehee!

CMJ wrote:He's a forensic genetecist Lucimay! He does dna profiling on dead peops.

Actually dead people are the exception. More often living ones. To be compared with dna profiles from infinitesimally small stains of unidentified goo/crud/dirt or whatever that "da pigs" have scraped off crime scenes, or what the coroners have swabed off suspects or victims. But I do work alongside the pathologists, and their humour/smell tends to rub off

CMJ wrote:Prebe, can you get away with accidentally leaving the bodies in the cafeteria?

Actually no. That was my number 11

I suppose carrying on 1-sided conversations with corpses, talking about the prophecy and The Master would be right out?

dw

DW wrote:I suppose carrying on 1-sided conversations with corpses, talking about the prophecy and The Master would be right out?

Hah! 1-sided?

*Clears throat*
No, I haven't been caught doing that, so technically I don't know if I may.

What about putting party hats on the corpses?

Remains to be seen CMJ. Thanks for the inspiration. It's weekend now. I'll post back monday to see if I have another item for my list

I particularly like 6 and 7:

Prebe wrote:6: It is not “good fun” to hide under the sheets in the morgue and shout BOOO! When a mortician comes to pick up a “client”

7: I am not allowed to replace the names of suspects in the database with the top 100 richest list from Forbes

If the party hat thing doesn't go over well, try Hawaiian leis. You can say, well, I just thought you guys were opposed to the party hats and I really was just trying to Lei them down in peace.....

How much does it cost to get one of those DNA posters? The ones with all the pretty colors that is in the shape of your DNA pattern?

Prebe wrote:7: I am not allowed to replace the names of suspects in the database with the top 100 richest list from Forbes

Cameraman Jenn, your avatar both terrifies and delights me.

Prebe wrote:8: Rolling a 20 sided die 22 times is not good enough to replace a DNA profile if I messed up the evidence

Too bad gaming laws don't work in the real world.

Prebe: You are now required to go out of your way to do as many insane and silly things ass possible to help your list grow.

Thanks EL. I know!

I don't think I can ever reach your knee-level, but I will try