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The Science of Santa: The Jolly Old Elf is a SPEED FREAK
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:17 pm
by A Gunslinger
news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071203/od_afp/swedenchristmaskyrgyzstansantaoffbeat_071203163428
Somehow I knew that someone would commission the study that woukld serve to explain the magic of santa.
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:43 pm
by aliantha
Dear god. And here I thought it was only in the US that scientists had more grant money than they knew what to do with.
Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Fer cryin' out loud! Magic heat shields, guys! Magic heat shields!
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:18 pm
by sgt.null
Santa is a tweaker?
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:21 pm
by Cagliostro
Jeez, folks...he's magic. It doesn't have to make sense.
The real Santa only goes to certain houses each year. The rest - the parents have to provide the gifts to hide the fact that they are not "Santa's Chosen."
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:21 pm
by sgt.null
so it is more of a cult?
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:05 pm
by Cagliostro
Hmmm.....the Santa Cult. Could be...
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:10 pm
by A Gunslinger
Santa really is quite a disturbing entity. Think of it...here is an obese man that dresses in fur, red fleece, and patent leather, who invites kids to sit on his lap, has a well-documented stocking fetish, who breaks into people's homes. This is to say nothing of the (perhaps ) forced servitute of a race of people that just happen to stand "waist high".
I am sickened.
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:25 pm
by sgt.null
A Gunslinger wrote:Santa really is quite a disturbing entity. Think of it...here is an obese man that dresses in fur, red fleece, and patent leather, who invites kids to sit on his lap, has a well-documented stocking fetish, who breaks into people's homes. This is to say nothing of the (perhaps ) forced servitute of a race of people that just happen to stand "waist high".
I am sickened.
i like this...
there should be a movie based on that premise.
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:03 am
by Cameraman Jenn
I'm working on the screenplay right now Sarge!
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 2:00 am
by kevinswatch
Sounds like it's based on an old physics joke:
www.main.com/~anns/other/humor/physicsofsanta.html
An oldie, but a goodie.-jay
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:44 am
by A Gunslinger
Cameraman Jenn wrote:I'm working on the screenplay right now Sarge!
The theme song? "Santa Claus is coming ....
in your mou**
"
I am SOOOOO
very Sorry.... I sometimes lack control!!
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:18 am
by emotional leper
Or, like the Paranoids sing it,
"I better not pout,
I better not cry.
I better not shout,
I'm tellin' you why.
Santa Claus is coming
to kill me..."
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:30 am
by sgt.null
"you know Christmas comes once a year?
my ex had the same complaint..."
if not Dangerfield, should have been.
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:03 pm
by balon!
Another report circulating on the Internet suggested however that Santa's sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
That would be THIS one.
Santa is Dead[/url]
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:18 pm
by aTOMiC
I have at times toyed with the idea of developing a "Satana Claws" Comic book. If I haven't done it by now it's just not going to get done.
Besides Futurama has already handled the homicidal Santa angle.
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:39 pm
by sgt.null
Multiple Santa
The Tick Loves Santa!
www.thetick.ws/car23.html