Kevin's Watch

Gentlemen and Ladies, I bid you good day.

As many of you may be aware, and, as more of you may not be aware, I am the worlds eighth largest superpower in terms of sheer destructive potential, just behind Japan, and its amazing ability to produce mind-warpingly strange pornography involving no human participants.

At the age of three I devised my first Doomsday Device. While destructive, it was far to simple, small, and reliable to qualify as a true plot device. For years I gradually built more destructive, larger, more complicated and complex devices, with such bizarre and arcane requires mas planetary alignments, black lotuses, and Marriah Carry to actually produce a decent album for the weapons to be triggerable. Today, I have surpassed myself.

I have created a device. Among the many objects I had to have procured to create it are the famed Crystal Skull, the real second copy of the United States Constitution, a politician's honesty, and a piece of the True Cross of Coronado.

At noon tomorrow I shall use the piece of the True Cross of Coronado to bring to life the crystal skull, feeding it the real second copy of the United States Constitution, and then, placing it inside the empty void that is a politician's honesty, I shall use it to power my device, which will turn all of the air in the world...


...into WOOD!

I will do this tomorrow at noon, unless you, the denizens of the Watch, transfer into my number swiss bank account Cookies.

One Dozen Freshly Baked Macadamia Nut Cookies.

That is all.

I am never using Vista's speech recognition to dictate an extorting letter again.

I call your bluff. My main reason being that one of your ingredients, a politician's honesty, clearly does not exist.

Montressor wrote:I call your bluff. My main reason being that one of your ingredients, a politician's honesty, clearly does not exist.

That is actually not one of the ingredients. The real ingredient, as I had the note originally dictated, was considered too Risqué for the watch.

Loremaster wrote:

EL...

Your demand must be directed to the correct Watcher. I direct you to the Marshal, Cail.

In the Kitchen with Cail

Menolly wrote:EL...

Your demand must be directed to the correct Watcher. I direct you to the Marshal, Cail.

In the Kitchen with Cail

What are you talking about? I demanded cookies, not cookies.

heh
Cail makes the best cookies.
But...if you don't want to address your demand to the correct Watcher...
*shrug*

Menolly wrote:heh
Cail makes the best cookies.
But...if you don't want to address your demand to the correct Watcher...
*shrug*

Cookie's aren't made. Cookies are.

We're not talking about cookies in the Fred Durst sense of the word, are we?

Quick Ben wrote:We're not talking about cookies in the Fred Durst sense of the word, are we?

What's a Fred Durst?

Nothing worth remembering, certainly.

Emotional Leper wrote:One Dozen Freshly Baked Macadamia Nut Cookies.

That is all.

If cookies are, then they're not freshly baked...

Is it like a Fred Blurst?

It was the blurst of times.

Emotional Leper wrote:
What's a Fred Durst?

himself

I'm with Jay. Sometimes I check in at this forum and have No Earthly Idea what's going on.

lmao! Syl.....errr, Quick Ben!

Misconceptions
Since their introduction on the Internet, misconceptions about cookies have circulated on the Internet and in the media.[5][6] In 1998, CIAC, a computer incident response team of the United States Department of Energy, found the security vulnerability "essentially nonexistent" and explained that "information about where you come from and what web pages you visit already exists in a web server's log files".[7] In 2005, Jupiter Research published the results of a survey,[8] according to which a consistent percentage of respondents believed some of the following false claims:

Cookies are like worms and viruses in that they can erase data from the user's hard disks
Cookies generate popups
Cookies are used for spamming
Cookies are only used for advertising
Cookies are in fact only data, not program code: they cannot erase or read information from the user's computer.[9] However, cookies allow for detecting the Web pages viewed by a user on a given site or set of sites. This information can be collected in a profile of the user. Such profiles are often anonymous, that is, they do not contain personal information of the user (name, address, etc.) More precisely, they cannot contain personal information unless the user has made it available to some sites. Even if anonymous, these profiles have been the subject of some privacy concerns.

According to the same survey, a large percentage of Internet users do not know how to delete cookies.