Kevin's Watch

There was World War I . . . Then; there was World War II . . .



Oh yeah, and there was Food Fight I.

Just when you thought the horror was gone . . . Just when you thought it was safe to eat in peace . . . comes . . .

*Foul stands up during a peaceful lunch in a new lunchroom. The world seems to be going in slow motion as he bellows out*

FOOOOODDDD FIGHTTT TWOO!!

*Dives beneath the teacher's table as all hell breaks loose*

Ahhhh!! FIRE IN THE HOLE!!

*Defensively throws broccoli and cheese in the air, wondering whom it'll land on*

*raises an eyebrow sardonically, sighs, shakes head despairingly, then shelters under a picnic-size pork pie as broccoli and cheese rains down*

*hurls a party egg at Foul*

Cheeky Despiser! One day I'll be able to have a peaceful meal!

alright foul baby, if its blietzkrieg u want, then thats what u get.

*laughs maniacally as waves of pickled eggs fall from the sky on to the despiser*

sum sui generis

Ack! I'm being surrounded! Infantry, infantry! Deploy!

*Foul breaks a jar of jelly beans and lets the buggers roll across the floor toward variol and CovenantJr*

Oh, that was pitiful! Jelly beans! By jiminy! Surrounded! Ah!

VS, I'm warning you, no using powers. We're going to have to fight like Muggles here, so get used to it. Well, Infelice and I are permitted to use power, but no one else is. *waves wand and the pickled eggs stop falling*

*Slaps random people up a bit with the 'pork' patties.*

*considers disarming the Leper Fairy, but then smiles as VS gets slapped* Hmm.... I wonder if our other feindish friends would like to have a bit of fun in the kitchen..... "Mr. Doggy, feel free to eat anyone wearing a blue robe if they wave a staff. Mr. Wolfy, don't bite or scratch anyone. If you do, I'll be forced to give you a bath. Ms. Foxfire, same goes to you. Mr. Rattail, go hide in the cubboard, seeing as you'll be of no use here, I think. Now, Peeves, I suggest you be armed with plenty of food, or food-like products if you want. The rest of you, mingle among the crowd, and please feel free to dump pumpkin juice in the shiny woman's underwear."

Well, I think we should bring in the house elves after this one.

*reels after being slapped with hamster patty*

*while reeling, clumsily drops the large bag of HP Brown Sauce he was about to throw. It explodes as it his the floor, showering all in the vicinity with the tasty delights of Brown Sauce*

mmm .. HP sauce!! my fav!!

bah a useless weapon against them raised on the stuff

*sits on bar stool lapping up smorsels of HP sauce*:|

loads pie launcher and sets to randomly fire around room *watches gleefully as Foul, Turiay cov baby and leper fairy and variol son are spattered in creamy fruity goo!!

HEY! CEASE FIRE!

*Foul jumps into the middle of the lunchroom, holding two SNOW OWLS*

LOOK HERE! These are the last two snow owl on this earth! If I get creamed with one more fruity pie or piece of spinach to the face, the snow owls get it--hear?! Ha, ha, ha!! Now stand aside and let me outta here so I can plan my secret weapon of mass destruction! I call it a MOAB--wait, no! I call it a MOASJ. Mother of all sloppy joes!

yeah right .. like we're gonna let that happen!!*

lunges at Foul grabbing the snow-owls .. like I care LOL .. but thinks preservation of any species worth the effort ..

not that it was much effort effortlessly siezes snow-owls and secretes them somewhere safe ..

*unleashes Foul's MOAB .. umm .. his MOASJ .. against .. his Foul-ness*

*screams screechingly loud*

Noooooo!!!

*is covered head-to-toe in sloppy, greasy bits of burger meat and and Secret Super, Slurpy Sloppy Joe Sauce! (a bit of a tongue twister)*

*sardonic grin*

mmm .. that was satisfaction much

hoses Foul down with sticky date pudding sauce!! lets see ya get out of that fine mess

Turiya has gone, I'll have you know. If you use her name, you get disqualified from the Food Fight.

Creerio

*hoses Foul down with liquid potato chips*

Liquid chips??! WAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*grins* You're afraid of liquid chips? Let's see then..... THE GARLIC-FLAVOURED LIQUID CHIPS!!!!!!!

turiya turiya turiya ..

ooops sorry .. Foxfire .. the first time was a mere slip of the keys

*reels from the unholy stench of garlic liquid "chips"*

*decides to teach Foxfire what a chip really is, and lobs a plate full of the local school canteens best greasy delights in her direction*

Silly foreigner! You cannot teach an American what a chip really is, much less teach them anything that takes coherent thought to process! But don't fret! I am on your side this time! *Shakes off the coat of liquid chips like a wet dog, doing it right in front of Shalimar*

*sheilds* Like I said, I'm allowed to use magic, and you aren't. *chips and liquid chips stop in midair, and Shalimar laughs in a Loony Lovegood type way*

Now, about you, CovJr.... *snaps fingers* I got it! *a vat of garlic&cream cheese flavoured liquid chips appears* *Shalimar throws CovJr into it* Die, Roger! Die!