Kevin's Watch

I have received a large number of messages in the last week or so, and you deserve an explanation as to why I left and why I have not returned any of your calls or messages, not just now but in the last year or so since I left.

About a year ago, some of the less pleasant aspects of my genes finally caught up with me, and I've been sick on and off since then, including one particularly depressing period when I thought I was going to end up on permanent disability.

I realize that if I had been open with what was going on you would have been supportive. However, I am, as some of you know, a very private person. I have difficulty talking about problems at all, let alone airing them in a public forum.

I was under a lot of stress, and I snapped at people and finally ended up (unintentionally) insulting someone badly enough that I received a flood of hate mail. Ironically, though it was anonymous, I'm fairly certain it wasn't even from the person I offended. It continued after I made a public apology, which is when I left. I did not leave because someone created a Gmail account in order to scream at me. I left because I had hurt someone, and I knew that if I stayed it was possible, even likely, that I would do so again.

It's an explanation, not an excuse. There isn't an excuse for being a complete git.

I know that what I did was probably not sufficient to warrant expulsion, and that most of you would accept me back despite my flaws. I really enjoyed my time here. You are the nicest group of people I have met online, and possibly offline as well. It wasn't easy to leave, and it wasn't easy to write this. I've known for some time now that I would not be coming back, but it never seemed so final.

I am sorry to anyone I offended, and I wish all of you the best.

I really wish you would reconsider. We all act like gits at some point. Please don't go.

What Jenn said.

Sorus, it's been an honor to know you as a Literati buddy. I will miss your scrabble prowess. I understand your reluctance to air personal matters, as I'm also a very private person. Your leaving saddens me, but I entirely respect your wishes. Farewell, Captain!

No (wo)man is an island. You can't really leave us; you can only stop talking to us. Which won't make anyone feel better.

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I wish you the grace to bear that which must be bourne.

Who expelled Sorus? And I too am a private person and don't open up to pretty much anything so I can undestand this being difficult to do.


Oh and I NEVER act like a git

We'll miss you. Take care of yourself...and remember...you can always come back if you change your mind.

i hardly know what to say.

its beyond imagining that you, Captain, could have offended anyone here.

we miss you very much and will always save a place for you at the scrabble table.

We'll be waiting till you get back, Cap!

Your ship will be reserved for you Captain Sorus

We will miss you

And I cannot imagine anything you would have said that would be offensive!! You are a kind soul. [And an awesome fellow scrabble player and Diablo II quester!!]

I hope you come back soon; tho I respect your privacy.

And woe to anyone that your friends find out were harassing you!!! Because your friends are MANY gentle Sorus! And we care.

Sorus wrote:I was under a lot of stress, and I snapped at people and finally ended up (unintentionally) insulting someone badly enough that I received a flood of hate mail. Ironically, though it was anonymous, I'm fairly certain it wasn't even from the person I offended. It continued after I made a public apology, which is when I left. I did not leave because someone created a Gmail account in order to scream at me. I left because I had hurt someone, and I knew that if I stayed it was possible, even likely, that I would do so again.

Does anyone besides me find such behavior (not Sorus's behavior - the behavior of the people sending the anonymous hate mail) to be unacceptable and disturbing?

duchess of malfi wrote:

Sorus wrote:I was under a lot of stress, and I snapped at people and finally ended up (unintentionally) insulting someone badly enough that I received a flood of hate mail. Ironically, though it was anonymous, I'm fairly certain it wasn't even from the person I offended. It continued after I made a public apology, which is when I left. I did not leave because someone created a Gmail account in order to scream at me. I left because I had hurt someone, and I knew that if I stayed it was possible, even likely, that I would do so again.

Does anyone besides me find such behavior (not Sorus's behavior - the behavior of the people sending the anonymous hate mail) to be unacceptable and disturbing?

Very much so. Even in PM there is a limit, and it sounds as if it was crossed.

I have a hard time imagining anyone on the watch acting in such a juvenile and obnoxious manner but if they did they really do have some serious explaining to do. Especially if they did such a thing to Sorus. I have met her in person and she is very sweet and wonderful. She's a member of the elite FBH acting squad. I also have a very very very hard time believing that she could offend someone to a point of sending her hatemail. It must have been one hell of a misunderstanding and one I would really like to see worked out because I adore me some Sorus and wish she would come back.

Cameraman Jenn wrote:I have a hard time imagining anyone on the watch acting in such a juvenile and obnoxious manner

Unfortunately, I have no hard time imagining it at all. While most of the people here are wonderful, there are notable exceptions, as I have learned the hard way through personal experience. (Thankfully none as bad as Sorus's, from the sound of her post, but mine were bad enough that I rarely come here, either).

While ideally, the person treating Sorus in such a creepy and immature fashion should grow up and apologize to her and try to make it up to her, I really doubt it will happen. When one person goes out of their way to repeatedly treat another person like shit, the shitter rarely apologizes or tries to make things better for the shittee.

Hopefully Sorus will eventually feel better about the situation and return - the kindness of the other people here might help with that. When I do return here it is to revisit with some pretty wonderful people whom I miss beyond words.

Duchess, I have to say WHAT???!!?? I find your posts witty and fun and I find you kind and full of joy. Again, if someone is acting like an ass on this forum we need to put a stop to it. I am very sorry that something crappy happened to you Duchess. I guess I just don't understand it. I've had such a great experience here and wish that for everyone. Hugs and more hugs to Sorus and you, Duchess.

Yeah, out of over 2,000 people you're bound to get at least a couple of creeps. I don't have any idea who it was, but I would like to think it was not any of the people I talked with on a daily basis and consider friends.

But as I said, that is not why I left. One irksome griefer is not going to drive me away from a bunch of people that I care about. I left because I care about you folks, and I did cause some strife mainly because I was (and am) under a great deal of stress and I sometimes tend to take it out on people that absolutely don't deserve it.

Hey, I'm Sorus - there are reasons I'm not welcome in human space.

I just felt I owed you all more than vanishing without a trace, there's too much of that.

Maybe when (if) I get my act together to the point where I am fit to behave among civilized people again I will come back, but right now that's a pretty big 'if'.

Oh, Sorus. . . I respect your wishes, but I am among the many that will miss you.

Like the others have said, the fact that someone responded to you in such a manner is sad. Unfortunately it seems that you and a few others have been treated in a manner that I find uncharacteristic of the Watch as a whole. And I understand that you are dealing with your problems the best way you know how, but at the same time I wish that you had shared this response with some mods you know. As mentioned, we at the Watch should not be allowing such behavior to happen.

Take the space you need, but know that you will always have a home here at the Watch and in our hearts.

Lyr, you said what was in my heart. Thank you. Sorus, you have a place with me, on the watch or not. I am here for you.

Sorus wrote:Yeah, out of over 2,000 people you're bound to get at least a couple of creeps. I don't have any idea who it was, but I would like to think it was not any of the people I talked with on a daily basis and consider friends.

But as I said, that is not why I left. One irksome griefer is not going to drive me away from a bunch of people that I care about. I left because I care about you folks, and I did cause some strife mainly because I was (and am) under a great deal of stress and I sometimes tend to take it out on people that absolutely don't deserve it.

Hey, I'm Sorus - there are reasons I'm not welcome in human space.

I just felt I owed you all more than vanishing without a trace, there's too much of that.

Maybe when (if) I get my act together to the point where I am fit to behave among civilized people again I will come back, but right now that's a pretty big 'if'.

never say never, Cap'n.

we'll keep the light on for ya here. you can count on it.
you know where i am and you have my number, should you
ever need it, night or day. for anything.

if you come back, i'll buy a Rush cd. <---- blatant bribery

Sorus wrote:Yeah, out of over 2,000 people you're bound to get at least a couple of creeps. I don't have any idea who it was, but I would like to think it was not any of the people I talked with on a daily basis and consider friends.

But as I said, that is not why I left. One irksome griefer is not going to drive me away from a bunch of people that I care about. I left because I care about you folks, and I did cause some strife mainly because I was (and am) under a great deal of stress and I sometimes tend to take it out on people that absolutely don't deserve it.

Hey, I'm Sorus - there are reasons I'm not welcome in human space.

I just felt I owed you all more than vanishing without a trace, there's too much of that.

Maybe when (if) I get my act together to the point where I am fit to behave among civilized people again I will come back, but right now that's a pretty big 'if'.

We haven't really interacted that much, despite the fact that I've been here four years now, so I mostly know you through sparse posts on the part of other people, here and there... but I would like to add my voice to the chorus of those who will be saddened by your leaving.

Despite the few creeps here and there, most of us at the Watch care about each other, and if we can help in any way, we do that. It's what a family is about, and the Watch tends to be some sort of a weird, multi-ethnic, international, fuzzy family of sorts I think all of us, at one time or another, were helped by Watchers when we were sad and depressed, and no one asks any questions unless one feels willing to share.

All that just to say - if you change your mind, you know the Watch is always here for you. It doesn't matter how long you've been here or how long you've been gone: paraphrasing Wayfriend, we're still going to all be here when you come back. "There's also love in the world"

That said... Take good care of yourself, and know that we'll be thinking of you