Kevin's Watch

Inspired by Wyldewode's post on things we hear in day-to-day life that bewilder and amuse, how about the things we see happening around us?

I work with the public each day and some people really amaze me with their strange/unusual/comic/bizarre antics.

I'll share one such incident today:

Just before I left work for the day a man walks into the library, carrying an old suitcase. Now he doesn't look the cleanest person about but not quite at the level of homeless. He caught my eye but as this branch is located right next door to a large bus/coach terminal its quite possible he is just going to quietly pass the time before his mode of transport arrives. But no...

He walks into the main study area, which has many large tables with various people using them, students, businessmen, usual library patrons etc for a busy afternoon.
He goes up to one of the busiest in a far corner and proceeds to crawl under the table, bag and all and curl up to sleep, much to the horror of the people at the table, and us.
Could he be talked out from under there? Not a chance! Just the odd grunt here and there in response.
It took the work of 2 city wardens to come and physically move the tables, drag him up on his feet and escort him out of the library.
Fun fun fun!

Would anyone else like to share any strange/amusing experiences of people they have come into contact in day-to-day life?

The last time I visited Borders (a bookstore) I noticed that in the back, sitting in a comfortable chair, was a very large woman. She was dressed in all black, wearing some sort of jogging suit that was filthy. She had greasy grey hair, and looked quite unkempt. The part that really startled me about her was the fact that she had a shopping cart from the department store next door parked in front of her. There was nothing in it except a purse. She sat intently reading a book. I had no reason to go near her, and I went about my browsing.

When it was 10:45pm, the store announced that it would be closing in 15 minutes. My friend and I took our respective stacks of books to the checkout. Standing there at the checkout was the "homeless"-looking lady, checking out with something, her stolen cart in front of her. There was some holdup with the lady's purchase, and the clerk was struggling to get the lady check out. The lady got her purse, and started digging in it for something. After a couple of minutes she produced a wallet, and started counting small change to the clerk. This went on for a few minutes, and the clerk looked at me and the line of people behind me, and told me I could check out in the cafe. I did so, leaving my friend in line behind the homeless lady. When I finished checking out, I noticed on my receipt that I had been overcharged for a clearance item, so I headed back to the main register. The lady was still standing there, still counting out money--bills this time. I walked past the woman, and when I was just past her this awful smell assaulted me. I joined my friend in line, and looked at her. Just then the smell hit her, and we both grimaced. We looked at the clerk, who seemed to want to be anywhere but where she was. Finally the old woman finished, and waddled to the door.

When I stepped up to the clerk, she apologized profusely to us. Then I showed her the problem with my purchase, and not only did she fix it for me, she pulled out a 20% off coupon and used it on my most expensive item. Then she apologized again to me--and I could tell it wasn't because of the overcharge.

Anyhow, that was one of the strangest things I've seen in a while.

Borders stories, eh?

I think I told Luci this one, but I don't think I've ever posted it here...


It was about 10 AM on a Sunday morning, when the store is usually pretty quiet. At the time I was merchandising/loss prevention supervisor, and I was the floor manager that hour.

One of my loss prevention guys, who was a new temp visiting from Scotland radioed me to say that, quote, there was a guy throwing plates in the bathroom.

I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly, so I asked him to repeat it.

There was a guy throwing plates in the bathroom.

Okay.

First thing that came to mind was that it was probably a quaint euphemism for something truly nasty.

So I go to the back security post, and he pulls up the video.

The guy walked in the back door with one of those big luggage carts on wheels, and went into the bathroom.

A minute or so later: Smash. Smash. Smash.

Security guy stuck his head through the door to investigate.

The whole cart was full of cheap porcelain plates, which the guy was flinging against the wall one at a time.

Training does not cover this kind of situation.

So we called the police.

And waited.

And waited.

And the smashing continued.

Manager shift changed, and the person replacing me was a new supervisor.

This is her first real situation, and she's really excited.

There's silence.

Which goes on for awhile.

New supervisor is getting a bit nervous.

Guy emerges from the bathroom, luggage in tow.

Everyone gawks at him.

He walks on by, not paying any attention to us.

As he passes us, new supervisor squeaks out "We don't DO that! That is not what the bathroom is FOR!"

He stared at her. I stared at her. Everyone else was still staring at him.

He left. The police never showed up.

Perhaps the most amazing thing was, he'd cleaned up most of the mess.

That's insane, Sorus! And perhaps the most bizarre thing I've heard in some time.

I could start a whole thread of weird and generally horrifying things that people have done in Borders.

But I won't, because...

Most of them are truly revolting.

...and my severance is not quite finalized.

But when it is. . . you can tell us everything!

Heh.

There are lierally thousands of jail related weird stories that I could post here, but if my employers ever happened to see them, I'd probably lose my job.

Bet Sgt null could come up with some cracking stories as well.

Phantasm wrote:There are lierally thousands of jail related weird stories that I could post here, but if my employers ever happened to see them, I'd probably lose my job.

Bet Sgt null could come up with some cracking stories as well.

Ditto about the hospital. I cannot get into good details, as it would be against patient confidentially - but you would be absolutely amazed at the things people get stuck in their rectums - ending up coming in to the emergency room - many of them requiring surgery for removal.

Just a general hint - it is not a good idea to stick anything made of glass up your butt. Or anything as large as a liter bottle filled with liquid. And never give yourself an enema with caustic substances - it will not clear you out - it will dissolve your colon!

You win.

The scene: Boston Public Gardens on a beautiful picture perfect summer day.
Early in the afternoon I walk by an Asian woman with one of those conical bowl hats and a long stick going across her shoulders with a bag on each end.
I thought, "that's odd but I guess that's also cool because she wants to retain some of her culture here in America".
So I spend the day amid flowers, couples walking and holding hands, running laughing children and even went out of my way to check out those brass ducks from storybook (Make way for the Ducklings)..........
Now it's beginning to get dark and my day is done so I head back to the train station and see that same Asian woman up on a grassy hill silhouetted by a golden reddish sunset and I think "hey, what is she doing?"

She was squatting at the top of the hill in clear view of everyone with her pants down by her ankles and taking a sh#t!

Phantasm wrote:There are lierally thousands of jail related weird stories that I could post here, but if my employers ever happened to see them, I'd probably lose my job.

Bet Sgt null could come up with some cracking stories as well.

but i can talk about the state hospital. as i no longer work there.

we had a woman who was stopped by the police on a tip. in her trunk were the carcasses of greyhounds. they searched her house and found she had been butchering the animals. they found some dogmeat in the freezer.

seems she was taking in the dogs under the guise of adopting them out. she got money from the race tracks for this. instead of adopting them out, she would butcher them.

That's terrible! The poor dogs!

duchess of malfi wrote: Ditto about the hospital. I cannot get into good details, as it would be against patient confidentially - but you would be absolutely amazed at the things people get stuck in their rectums - ending up coming in to the emergency room - many of them requiring surgery for removal.

My best friend spent three years working in the ER checking people in and doing their insurance info and stuff like that. She told me many more stories than I wanted to hear about gross things that people did to themselves that required medical attention.

Regarding work stories, I used to be a case manager for severely mentally ill adults, and we had some wild stories. I can't divulge details for the same reason as the others, but I will say something that is public knowledge (it ended up in the paper). One of our clients refused to take her medications and eventually she became psychotic. She had command hallucinations tell her to burn down her rented house because it was infested with demons, and SHE DID IT!

the worst case i ever saw. a woman who had cut and burned herself for years. she had to be in two-points all the time. that means her hands were tied to a belt around her waist. she had to have constant supervision. if she could she would chew the stitches out on her arms. she got one hand free to use the bathroom or eat. a shower required two female staff. the most tragic thing i have ever seen. i have no idea what happened to her.

I've got another one, similar to my first.


Disney World.
EPCOT.
World Showcase exit to the Beach Club and Boardwalk resorts.
This exit/entrance to EPCOT is for resort guests only and for two of the more expensive resorts as well.
So there's some expectation of a higher and better class of people passing through.
Or at least, I used to think so.
After you exit there's a small bathroom off to the right.
It's seldom used and in all the years I've been going to Disney I've noticed that it's usually amazingly clean.
One night as we're leaving I have to run in and make a quick pit stop.
The bathroom is empty and in pristine condition.
Except, right in the middle of a row of 12 urinals, someone took a massive sh#t in one of them.
That's right, in the urinal.
Now at first I thought that was pretty sick and stupid but then I took note that other than that the bathroom was immaculate.
And then I thought of what the guy had to do to create such a mess in the place he did it.
Did he do it by himself risking being walked in on or did he have a lookout help him?
Either way I was laughing pretty hard thinking about it as I finished and left.
And I'm sure the guy entering the bathroom as I was leaving and laughing thought it was me!
I find the absurd usually pretty funny.

we had an officer defecate in the urinal at work. even odder were the boot marks on the lid of the toilet seat. as if someone had squatted on top of it.

Wyldewode wrote: One of our clients refused to take her medications and eventually she became psychotic. She had command hallucinations tell her to burn down her rented house because it was infested with demons, and SHE DID IT!

Oh, hell, I've done that. Little bastards get in and defecate in all the frying pans, and squirt their "naughty-juice" all over the curtains. The only thing for it is to torch the place. Stupid demons.

Oh wow - there are some very odd people out there thats for sure!

A friend once showed me a webpage dedicated to medical students and the things they had to deal with from day to day.
Some were quite shocking, yet it made you want to just keep reading...

It's like a train wreck, isn't it, Chrysalis! You can't seem to look away!

In regard to Sarge's and HLT's stories, I have one of my own to share. When I was in college we had several international students in my (girls only) dorm, and a handful lived on my floor. We had communal bathrooms. (This led to some interesting stories, but they aren't relevant here.) Anyhow, we kept finding the toilet seats covered in urine--as if it had been done intentionally. After a floor meeting and some investigation by the resident assistant, it was discovered that one of our Nigerian students would squat on the toilet seat when she used it. I know that she was talked to about it, and whether she began sitting to use the toilet, or merely cleaned up her messes, we never discovered. All we cared about was that there weren't wet toilet seats anymore.