Kevin's Watch

Answer the following questions to the best of your ability. Truth overcomes all, be yourself:

1. Why do you wish to become a Bloodguard?
- Am strong and smart, like working nights.

2. Under what Lord did the Bloodguard first commit to the Vow?
- Kevin Landwasher, er, Landscaper, no was Kevin Landlander, heh

3. As a Bloodguard you agree to forsake;
- for sale? me have no house for sale, will live in burrow, no problems me

4. The mind and what, are the Bloodguards chief weapons?
- Big bloody axe! Heavy hammer will do, can use shovel too

5. Who is First Mark of the Bloodguard?
- first ass that pee in my bed

6. When given the conflicting duty of protecting a Lord and completing a mission, you will;
- take holiday, hey where I get leave pass?

7. Does the thought of leaving forever, those you loved distress you?
- me not well liked, ate brother, axed Mudder. family, sheesh.

8. Your commune with the Ranyhyn shall be marked by;
- Oooh! big horsies! like with ketchup

9. The teachings of Kenaustin Ardenol are now;
- available on cd? tape deck broke in fight with Mudder.

10. Thomas Covenant is:
- freaky shit. Am pawning ring when fool deader.



Having reviewed your responses to the standard Bloodguard Entry Exam we are happy to inform you that you have been selected to provide Guardian services to Lord Foul. Please report at 8 a.m. sharp tomorrow.
Oh, and he queried your ability to breath through your, um ...buttocks? We have no idea to what he infers.[/i]