Kevin's Watch

Just wanted to share...

1. George W. Bush is an evil genius a la Blofeld or Fu Manchu, having successfully planned and carried out 9/11 without anyone being the wiser (except a bunch of amateur investigators who are inexplicably still alive).

2. A sixty-something doctor with the use of one hand was selected by the leadership of the British Empire to commit the Jack the Ripper murders, in order to prevent anyone from finding out the (gay) Duke of Clarence had married a Catholic maid and then had a child by her (said child having since admitted he made it all up).

3. False History--the claim that the Roman/Alexandrian/Russian/Persian Empires were all really the same thing, that Jesus and Pope Gregory were the same person, that human history is only a few thousand years old but historians (for no clear reason) have decided to deceive us and themselves.

4. The Harry Potter novels were in fact written by committee, because no one author could be that successful (and we all know works by committee usually do so well).

5. The Homosexual Agenda, namely that gays and lesbians must recruit into order to propogate their own kind. Yeah, right--because all the gays and lesbians around now are the children of such.

6. Reptilians. 'Nuff said.

7. We never landed on the Moon.

8. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Believe it or not, I know someone who actually believes this reeking pile of animal waste is for real! Even though it is clearly a section of a French novel, with the names changed so as to blame Jews for everything.

9. MI-5 persuaded the driver of Diana, Prince of Wales, to commit suicide by crashing the car. Uh, right.

10. Barack Obama's birth certificate (and of course the nefarious efforts to hide his Terrorist activities while in Elementary School!)

11. Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11.

12. The US government developed AIDS as a genocidal weapon.

13. The Titanic did not sink. (Really--her sister ship the Olympic sank as part of a gigantic insurance scam)

14. Lyndon LaRouche.

15. Anything and everything to do with The Da Vinci Code including Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Fun and all, but not worthy of being taken seriously.

16. "Phantom Social Workers" who abduct children on behalf of the US government.

17. The great satanic conspiracy of child molesters and serial killers who've killed countless innocents (none of whom have been reported missing nor their bodies found).

18. A surprising number of conspiracy theories around the unsuccessful introduction of "New Coke."

19. The so-called "Clinton Body Count" as the former President had so many close associates assassinated. Or more accurately, so many people who had met the President at one time or another died within a certain amount of time, usually a decade or more. BTW, Bill Clinton met and worked with thousands and thousands and thousands of people. Hardly surprising that such a large pool of individuals contained some who died within a decade of one another.

20. The so-called Philadelphia Experiment. You know, the invention of workable invisibility screen during wwII?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories

Please feel free to offer your own.

My favorite conspiracy theory has always been the Freemasons. Supposedly, not only were the founding fathers all Masons, but they created the Constitution based on Masonic principles. The whole revolutionary war was a ruse arranged by the American and British Masons to pave the way for their experiment. And they put great pyramid on our dollar bill so we'd all know it was really them all along.

JFK - pick one, any one.

JFK was killed by agents of the phone company for trying to break up Ma Bell.

Lincoln wasn't assassinated, he was kidnapped by the Confederacy and perished in an ironclad in the Sahara desert.

Elvis's death was faked due to his testimony in a drug case (he was made an honorary DEA agent by Nixon). He entered the witness protection program, and remains alive to this day.

LOL... well the only "conspiracy theory" that is even remotely interesting to me is the JFK one. It's neat.

How about the so-called "Canadian Conspiracy" .. the one where Canada plans a slow, subvertive take-over of the US by exporting all our entertainers there ...

Damn you!

Canada and Mexico were each clandestinely added as the 51st and 52nd states respectively in 1998 and integration has been slowly working its way through each governmental system for the past few years to be revealed at a future date when resistance to the move has been minimalized.

Aliens have been in contact with most world governments and are manipulating events toward their own goals which include transporting and transplanting most of the Earth's population to a world over 300 light years distant for unknown purposes.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are in it with the Illuminati. Check out the Foot Clan's base and check out eye in the pyramid which is often associated with the Illuminati.

And don't get me started on the hypnotic conspiracy theories about Mario.

Those are my pet conspiracy theories. But one of my favorites is about the Denver International Airport. LOTSA conspiracies there, from the weird paintings to the Masonic cornerstone to the underground city that has lizardmen aliens using little blond-haired blue-eyed German children to do slave labor. This really is a fun little catch-all.

Usivius wrote:
How about the so-called "Canadian Conspiracy" .. the one where Canada plans a slow, subvertive take-over of the US by exporting all our entertainers there ...

Keeping Rush... you may have Celine Dion back.

Tesla's death ray is my favorite conspiracy theory.

wayfriend wrote:My favorite conspiracy theory has always been the Freemasons. Supposedly, not only were the founding fathers all Masons, but they created the Constitution based on Masonic principles. The whole revolutionary war was a ruse arranged by the American and British Masons to pave the way for their experiment. And they put great pyramid on our dollar bill so we'd all know it was really them all along.

Well said.

Paul McCartney died in the 60's, and his twin brother took over his job in the Beatles starting with 'Sgt. Peppers'.

a goldfish's memory lasts 7 seconds. that's just plain nonsense - how can they rule the world if their memory is so short?

Stonemaybe wrote:a goldfish's memory lasts 7 seconds. that's just plain nonsense - how can they rule the world if their memory is so short?

Not true? That's a relief. I would hate to have my 8 second memory capacity trumped by a goldfish. (What thread was I on? ... )

NAZIS USED MORE LOWERCASE LETTERS THAN CAPITAL LETTERS. PEOPLE WHO USE LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE EITHER HOLOCAUST DENIERS AND THUS COMPLICIT WITH THE HOLOCAUST OR ARE FASCISTS.

Also, see the Illuminatus trilogy.

You forgot Creationism...

Not exactly a conspiracy theory, but Rasputin's granddaughter carried round her grandfather's severed, and famously large, penis in a leather pouch until her death. When it was later put up for auction at Bonham's, closer examination revealed that the preserved member was, in fact, a dessicated sea cucumber.

Nav wrote:Not exactly a conspiracy theory, but Rasputin's granddaughter carried round her grandfather's severed, and famously large, penis in a leather pouch until her death. When it was later put up for auction at Bonham's, closer examination revealed that the preserved member was, in fact, a dessicated sea cucumber.

Wow. Let's see. Who makes me shake my head in disbelief the most?

1. the granddaughter carrying around her grandfather's reproductive organ
2. the person who (allegedly) cut it off
3. Mr. Bonham
4. the person providing the "close inspection"

Too close to call. Regardless, I guess it is true what they say. You can't take it with you.