Kevin's Watch

We all have them. I had a good one today. I was cleaning out my fridge and getting it ready for photos to sell it and the phone rang at work so I went into the office to answer it and unthinkingly wiped my hand on my jeans. I was using a bleach infused cleanser. I guess I will find out on laundry day whether or not I have a big bleached handprint on my ass. Yep, I'm definitely not the sharpest crayon in the box.

You never know; maybe it'll start a trend.....

dANdeLION wrote:You never know; maybe it'll start a trend.....

Start one? That trend ended four or five years ago.

am I supposed to have "moments" when I realise this? Every second of my life is testament to this (although I prefer to say I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed!).

In my life.. there is no , one trip to Home Depot. Every project requires at least two trips to Home Depot; One to get everything you need,, and a second to return all that you didn't need and buy the right stuff that you did need.

Seareach wrote:am I supposed to have "moments" when I realise this? Every second of my life is testament to this (although I prefer to say I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed!).

I prefer "not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

Had one this morning. I opened a drawer in the kitchen to get something out but didn't get it. Leaving the drawer open, I paused to do something in the other side of the room. I specifically thought "gee, when I turn back around I need to remember to be careful of the drawer I left open so I don't smack into it". Then I turned around without closing the drawer first, smacked into it and bruised my hip. Duh.

Oh, and it's "Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree." for me.

A friend at work recently told me about his purchase of a 100-oz bar of silver, to which I responded, "Oh, neat. How heavy is it?"

I prefer the Foghorn Leghorn saying "Sharp as a sack of wet mice."

dw

dlbpharmd wrote:

Seareach wrote:am I supposed to have "moments" when I realise this? Every second of my life is testament to this (although I prefer to say I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed!).

I prefer "not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

What? Don't you like being called a "tool"? (is that as much of an insult, being called that in the US, as it is here in Oz?).

One of my favorite stellar moments was when I was camping with my cousin and I put new batteries in the floodlight and stared into the bulb in the dark and turned on the light to make sure it was working. I was blind for about five minutes.

Seareach wrote:

dlbpharmd wrote:

Seareach wrote:am I supposed to have "moments" when I realise this? Every second of my life is testament to this (although I prefer to say I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed!).

I prefer "not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

What? Don't you like being called a "tool"? (is that as much of an insult, being called that in the US, as it is here in Oz?).

Oh, it's an insult, alright.

dANdeLION wrote:You never know; maybe it'll start a trend.....

... and possibly revolutionize the @ssatar world.

dlbpharmd wrote:

Seareach wrote:am I supposed to have "moments" when I realise this? Every second of my life is testament to this (although I prefer to say I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed!).

I prefer "not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

I always laugh at the expression "not the sharpest marble in the bag".

I did drama and theatre in high school; There were four separate plays and my class was split into groups; In front of about a thousand people I came out and started to perform my monologue that was the beginning of my play; when the teacher shouted to me on stage that it wasn't my turn yet and told me to get off the stage. When I went on later I got a round of applause for getting my timing right. Without doubt not the most baked bun in the bunch.

Auleliel wrote:

dANdeLION wrote:You never know; maybe it'll start a trend.....

Start one? That trend ended four or five years ago.

No, that trend was 'pants with hand prints on them', not 'pants with your own hand print on them'.

Well..I saw a good one this afternoon on the way home.. Traffic is at a crawl, State Trooper enters traffic on a on ramp. Seems to be interested in a grey SUV in front of him. Suv goes to left lane , Trooper goes to left lane. Suv goes back to middle lane, Trooper goes back to middle lane. The car between the two goes to right lane in front of me. We are up to 5 miles an hour maybe 10. Trooper gets rite up on grey SUV and lites up red and blues. Now.. the dude who got out of the way of this budding relationship..is distracted by the red and blues,,and sure enough,,rite infront of the State Trooper, kisses the rear end of one unsuspecting motorist. I had immediately started slowing down for the eventual pull over when I noticed the Trooper shadowing the SUV. So the grey SUV pulls over and the two untill then unintroduced motorists pulled over about 300 yards from the Grey SUV. The Trooper was like...well... he ended up parked kinda like half way between the two groups..He Did do the rite thing tho and appeared more concerned for any injury in the rear ended than in the subservant Grey SUV,,but for a second or two,, the Trooper appeared wanting to go to both parties at the same time. Unfortunate but pretty darn funny to witness all in all. Whats the saying..two dull blades with one stone..

I cut short my imbibing last night at pool, got up early this morning, generally spent an extremely nervous and jittery couple of hours, then went down for my 2nd wisdom tooth extraction at 10.30.....only to find that my appointment wasn't today. I'm quite happy though as I now get to spend a weekend without a sore mouth!