Kevin's Watch

Seriously. Have you ever checked out the daily recommended amount of fiber you're supposed to eat on the back of a box of cereal, or something like that? You're supposed to eat 25 g or thereabouts. Yesterday, I was eating some prunes (hey, I like them, and they like me). They were Newman's Own fwiw, and on the back it said that a standard serving size was 9 prunes. Fiber per serving: 2g. Percent daily recommended fiber: 9%. Now, I used to be pretty good at math back in the day. If those figures are actually meaningful, that means you have to eat 100 PRUNES A DAY to reach the recommended amount of dietary fiber. I'd like to see the s.o.b. that can eat 100 prunes in a day. I'd also like to know what nut-job came up with the 25 g of fiber per day figure.

That is all.

I was looking at a chili recipe yesterday (made with black beans), and it said it had 16g of fiber per serving. So if you ate two servings of that chili you'd be set, Farm Ur-Ted!

How much fiber in a day? That is determined by how much time one has to sit on the porcelain throne. Tricky tho it is...perhaps worthy of a chart in the Chart tab of Fail Blog( see Haven Farm). A little thought and one may see the inverse ratio of time and fiber intake..less time one allocates for the sittage, then more fiber intake required. Just think of prunes as Farm Ur Ted has mentioned. A 100 prunes a day consumption rate just about guarantees a very short disposition time allotment. The concept of NOW would have new, more personal , understanding with the instant gratification generation.

Me personally,,my innards would simply explode from all the gas created from eating 100 prunes a day. I would have to stop smoking because I would be too dangerous around any open flame. A herd of cow would be in awe. T Boone Pickens would try to find investors to build a pipeline to my butt. If i moved to California, i would be immediately declared a National Treasure and thus no drilling allowed. Of course half of Hollyweird would put three stripes on a prune and call it Gucci. Cults of 100 prunes a day would spring up in Bel Aire and thus the new cash crop in northern California would be prunes rather than the cannabis sativa. Southern California sewer treatment systems would need upgrading and the poor prune eater would suffer a heavily taxed fruit of fiber to pay for the treatment of his or her output. So prunes would be a rich mans diet and soon to follow would be the Magazines ; Prunesficinado, Vintage Prune,,Prune Digest-ion.,Prune- Pro,, so all of America could jump on the new fad bandwagon. Big names would soon invest in Prune orchards and get high dollar for Vintage Prune Juice, with their names on the paper labels of corked bottles. Only proving..those who are truly full of it,,need 100 prunes a day .

lurch wrote:How much fiber in a day? That is determined by how much time one has to sit on the porcelain throne. Tricky tho it is...perhaps worthy of a chart in the Chart tab of Fail Blog( see Haven Farm). A little thought and one may see the inverse ratio of time and fiber intake..less time one allocates for the sittage, then more fiber intake required. Just think of prunes as Farm Ur Ted has mentioned. A 100 prunes a day consumption rate just about guarantees a very short disposition time allotment. The concept of NOW would have new, more personal , understanding with the instant gratification generation.

Me personally,,my innards would simply explode from all the gas created from eating 100 prunes a day. I would have to stop smoking because I would be too dangerous around any open flame. A herd of cow would be in awe. T Boone Pickens would try to find investors to build a pipeline to my butt. If i moved to California, i would be immediately declared a National Treasure and thus no drilling allowed. Of course half of Hollyweird would put three stripes on a prune and call it Gucci. Cults of 100 prunes a day would spring up in Bel Aire and thus the new cash crop in northern California would be prunes rather than the cannabis sativa. Southern California sewer treatment systems would need upgrading and the poor prune eater would suffer a heavily taxed fruit of fiber to pay for the treatment of his or her output. So prunes would be a rich mans diet and soon to follow would be the Magazines ; Prunesficinado, Vintage Prune,,Prune Digest-ion.,Prune- Pro,, so all of America could jump on the new fad bandwagon. Big names would soon invest in Prune orchards and get high dollar for Vintage Prune Juice, with their names on the paper labels of corked bottles. Only proving..those who are truly full of it,,need 100 prunes a day .

Post of the Week!

Let us rejoice in The Prunes of the Earth! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Well, it seems to me, Steinbeck would be more remembered today by all senior highschoolers if he had titled his book, The Prunes of Wrath. Which reminds me, you all just missed out on the Annual Sun City Prune Festival and Parade, held up in Del Webbs retirement village, Sun City, every year, up just north west of Phoenix here. The event is a day long celebration of the fiberous fruit but this year they broke a record for the shortest timed parade with the largest contingent of paraders. There were over 170 people in the parade , with 25 horses, representing every group from the " Free Prunes of Sun City, Fraternal Order of Prunes, American Prunes, Daughters of the American Prunes, Sun City Prune Club, International Benevolent Christian Prune Pickers and Purveyors, Sun City Branch,The Prunes, Temple of the Prune Goddess ,SouthWest Regional Org,National Right To Prunes, Peoria/Sun City District Off., The North American Prune Organization, Az Local 101,with Charo as the Queen of the Prune Parade and who can forget the clowns on their mini mini cycles,the Sponsors of the whole day get up and go, Prunes R Us.! Yessir, the parade was over in 6 minutes. I never seen so many people in such a hurry. Truly a moving experience.

lurch, you are on a roll this evening.

I strongly suggest that you not eat 100 prunes in a single day. Not only are they <gak!> fruit, they are the withered husks of fruit - sort of like eating organic zombies.
And then there is the effect that such a mistake would have... A GI Gotterdammerung the likes of which cannot be imagined! It is liable to make you poop out vital organs. Sure, great for weight loss, but a terrible party trick!

I suggest a nice black-bean chili instead. Even better, the Guiltless Grill Black Bean Burger at Chili's - it is relatively low in calories, tastes great, and is very high in fiber - but without the excrement-explosion effect.

Think on that and be dismayed. And have a mop handy.
And a change of clothing.

dw

I think that if you eat 100 prunes you can then shit out your mouth or something...

High Lord Tolkien wrote:I think that if you eat 100 prunes you can then shit out your mouth or something...

If that's the case, then all the pundits at Fox News must strictly follow a daily 100-prune diet.

DukkhaWaynhim wrote:

High Lord Tolkien wrote:I think that if you eat 100 prunes you can then shit out your mouth or something...

If that's the case, then all the pundits at Fox News must strictly follow a daily 100-prune diet.

Enjoy your own 101st prune.

Farm Ur-Ted, your post only makes sense if you assume that you would get all your fiber only from prunes.

There are a lot more pleasant ways to get fiber.

Just saying.

I just made a meat loaf using a type of bread where each slice is 25% of your recommended daily fiber intake.
www.generalmills.com/stream_image.aspx?rid=31658
I used 10 slices.
I love meatloaf.
I can eat the whole thing that I just made within an hour.
And I'm going to.
Wish me luck!

If I read tomorrow that an earthquake has hit the East Coast - I'll know why.

dw

MsMary wrote:Farm Ur-Ted, your post only makes sense if you assume that you would get all your fiber only from prunes.

There are a lot more pleasant ways to get fiber.

Just saying.

I know, but prunes are just about the highest bang-per-buck fiber-wise of any food. That's why I used them.

I think you can also eat 10 bowls of oatmeal (maybe it's 5, but big bowls).

It never ceases to amaze me, what we talk about in GenDisc.

Done!

Now we wait.......

It's not (just) the fibre in prunes that make you go. They contain a natural laxative too which probably has more effect than the fibre. After all, prunes are small, therefore not much fibre.


I CAN'T believe I got involved.....

It never ceases to amaze me how poop is such a conversation-starter.

Cail wrote:It never ceases to amaze me how poop is such a conversation-starter.

eat 100 prunes a day and you 'll find out how easy it is...

Did you know that they've started calling them "dried plums" instead of prunes, because prunes have such a bad, uh, reputation?