Kevin's Watch

René Descartes went to a bar. After having a few drinks the barkeeper asked "Would you like another drink?" Descartes answered "No, I think not" ... and vanished.

An empiricist, a rationalist and a phenomenologist are walking through the wilderness when they see a black sheep. "Oh," says the empiricist, "looks like the seheep around here are black".
"Careful, careful," replies the rationalist. "All we can say is that at least one of them is black".
Says the phenomenologist "Well, at any rate the side we're looking at".

Wittgenstein and Popper once spend their holidays in the Caribbean. Walking at the beach they met an elderly lady who promised to foretell the future from a look at her pearl-oracle. Addressing Wittgenstein she said 'You see these pearls in my hand? Please pick two'. Popper smiled for a moment than he said, 'If Wittgenstein picks two pearls it's like pearls to pigs."

Vader wrote:An empiricist, a rationalist and a phenomenologist are walking through the wilderness when they see a black sheep. "Oh," says the empiricist, "looks like the seheep around here are black".
"Careful, careful," replies the rationalist. "All we can say is that at least one of them is black".
Says the phenomenologist "Well, at any rate the side we're looking at".

The Descartes joke is one of Magickmaker's favorites. (Which is to say that I've heard it approximately a billion times... But it's still funny!)

old one: Q: what did the Monk say to the hot dog vendor?
A: make me one with everything.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Darkness is the nature of existence.
(I've heard 5 or 6 different punchlines for this)

And for those who think Buddhists can't be hysterical, this is a traditional zen koan, with the response by a famous (and enlightened) monk.
Q: You see a master approaching you on the road, you cannot
acknowledge him, yet you cannot pass him by.
What do you do?
A: Whack him one.

I read a book a while ago called If You Meet The Bhudda On The Road...Kill Him.

--A

top: Wittgenstein (or ist it Camus?), Sartre
middle: Socrates, Nietzsche
bottom:Kant, Marx, Barthes (?), Foucault

Am I right? I wonder how they would look in Southpark ...

Yes! I got all of them except for Barthes. And that is indeed Wittgenstein.

That is like SOOO elitist of you guys I only recognized Socrates and Marx!

On the other hand - I guess a funny, non-insulting philosophical joke can't really be inclusive

But let my try: "I've heard that Jenna Jameson has turned to philosophy, her motto being "COITUS ERGO SUM"