Kevin's Watch

I've seen some gut busting funny stuff in here, and it's been a while, so play with this one, comic geniuses. SRD's naming of people, IMHO, is pretty dead-on. The Giant's names are perfect for their race and way of life and the Haruchai's names are to the point, and they have no last names (apparently), so I think let's come up with some new names for Giants and Haruchai. I can't do the funny ones, but for the Haruchai, I think maybe something like Ston (OK, I stole that from an episode of Star Trek original series). Oh, nasty thought; what if the Haruchai and Giants bred? Nah, probably don't want to go there............

Foamwrath Pitchswishler.. lesser known fortunate cousin of Pitchwife.

I think there is already a "Screw with Giantish Names" topic floating around here somewhere.

:shrug:

I was seriously trying to get a good friend of mine to read the Chronicles back in the day. But he wouldn't hear of it. Fantasy just wasn't his cup of tea he said.

I described the land and told him some of the story and about a few of the truly wonderful characters he would encounter if only he would give the chronicles a chance.

I never could convince him to read any of the books, but he did coin a Giantish name in exasperation as a response to my relentless nagging.

Salty Foamswallower.

John Stewart comes up with some "Giantish" names every once in a while.
One sticks in my mind because I knew the person in question when I went to college.
Used to be on Fox News a lot. Don't know what's become of her.
Rita Cosby. If you have come across her, she's got a deep voice, DEEP voice for a woman.
He called her Throaty McHuskington.
BUt I would love to play along.

"I am Corky of the Bloodguard."

You might think Pitchwife is the most unfortunate of the Giants, with bent back and just one name, how about a Giant named

Shorty.

You never hear much about the Purser of Starfare's Gem? SolidCredit AuditNumber?

Bob.

Bob of the Haurchai. Bob of the Giants.

Or the great Bloodguard-Giant comedy team
Donn and Whoopycushion Deeplaugh.
No real joke on the Bloodguard name there, but an observation.
He's the straight man.

Or that great Giantish porn star --
OakenCrotch WhammerJammer.

There was also a Bloodguard who went "blue"
He started out as "Buck Naked." But he proved himself the most worthy in that regard. And he is ak-Haru Buck Naked.

Did you know every Haruchai had a brother they left behind?
(Most will take a little time to figure out.)

Hergrom? Himgrom.
Ceer? Tartar.
Cail? Okra.
Brinn? Dunn.
Morin? Eevnen.

Before Cable Seadreamer grew up and got the Sight, he was actually a runt, of a giant, who went by the name of StringyTwine Pondponderer.

Also, before his brother got the sight, the Master of Starfare's Gem had another outlook on life and another name -- HappyDude Larkyskipper.

(Key to brothers
him-her
Seared steak's opposite is raw, or state tartar.
Kale is a veggie of the same fam as Okra.
Brinn there, Dunn that.
Morning, evening

Here's a coule of extras for you, not names --

How many Bloodguard does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. The Bloodguard do not require light to see in the dark.

Covenant's reaction to the above fact --
HELLFIRE, man. How can you sleep at night? Wait, uhh. You don't. Well, umm. HELLFIRE man. Actually, that's kind of cool.

Why did the Haruchai cross the road?
Because the Haruchai are a questing people.

Covenant's reaction to that?
HELLFIRE man. How can you cross the road and leave your wives behind?

One reason why the Bloodguard don't use surnames, could be:

Cail Caffiene
Brinn Benzidrine
Morril Morphine
Tull Tryptimines
Korik Cokehead
Bann Cannibas
Bannor Barbiturate
Cerrin Serotonin
Morin Mithylphenidate
Amorine Absinthe
Ruel Methylenedioxymethamphetamine
Sill Psilocybin
Thomin Lysergic-acid-diethylamide
Porib Mescalin
Pren Salvinorin

...so now we know what they get up to when Covenant's away from the Land.

Krazy, that explains an awful lot. You guys are hilarious. This type of stuff is so fun, and helps ease my boredom until next year's book release. OakenCrotch WhammerJammer made me laugh out loud. Good one.

SGuilfoyle1966 wrote: How many Bloodguard does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. The Bloodguard do not require light to see in the dark.

Or the updated version:

How many Masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None of your business. You aren't allowed to have light.

or,

How many Masters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
About two dozen standing on a stone table in an acrobatic pyramid!

btw Rocksister, I should have added a disclaimer to my previous post to say that I don't do drugs. It took about an hour to dig up all those names from Wikipedia. It was more of an observation than an attempt at stand up comedy

No prob, Kat. I meant it explains a lot about THEM, not YOU. Funny stuff.